Black Metal Banchan - Part 3: Tr00 Korean Black Metal & Snacks (Kalpa + Random Korean Snack Classics + Bedevilled)

The Black Metal Banchan continues!   If you're new to the series or this blog and want to catch up on the older posts for the BMB:
You can read part 1 here.
You can read part 2 here.

Now THAT is a fucking sword!!!

It's impossible to talk about tr00 Korean black metal without getting into Kalpa.   Although this kind of thing is pretty difficult to actually prove, I'm almost positive that anyone who knows anything about Korean metal would say that the mysterious homegrown black metal horde Kalpa was the first to have sown mayhemic darkness upon The Hermit Kingdom.   Sure, there were other bands around the same time doing a similar thing, such as Sad Legend, Oathean, (see our previous posts about them in this series) and Moonshine, but both of those bands were kind of doing a more keyboard-y melodic black metal thing.   Kalpa formed in the same year as Moonshine and Oathean (1996), a year before Sad Legend, and while they didn't put out a proper album until almost a decade later, it seems like Kalpa was Korea's first attempt to get KVLT.

Kalpa, before Black Candle kicked
everyone else out of the band :(

How so?   Well for one, just look at their pics!   They're rockin' corpsepaint, spiked armbands, swords, long hair, forest promo shoots, etc.  It's too bad that the main dude, Black Candle, eventually kicked everyone else out of the band and became a one-man project because it looks like he wasn't too productive with that lineup change.   Still, you never know!   At least they released some material while they were together, which is more than can be said for a lot of bands!

Anyway, they unfortunately only released one full-length record, The Path of Eternal Years (2002), and honestly... it's not that amazing.   That's not to say that it's bad, as there's plenty of great black metal riffage and grim atmosphere!   Also, while the first half or so of the album is pretty typical of the genre, the second half is actually really cool!   It's one long song, about 16 minutes long, and is the title track as well.   Building with an atmospheric acoustic guitar and haunting keyboard melody, things start off slowly when the drums and electric guitars kick in, but before you know it, shit gets evil fast and you're in the middle of a flurry of blasbeats, tremolo-picked gusts of wind, and icy atmospheric keyboards.  About halfway through the track shit slows down and we're treated to an eerie synthesized flute (I think) melody that really ramps up the atmosphere and reminds me a lot of the other Korean black metal bands I've been covering on here so far (Sad Legend and Oathean) in terms of that "Oriental/Asian" feeling that is such a defining characteristic of their sound.   There's even a gong at the end!!  Definitely the best song on the album!   Recommended as an excellent musical companion for a long walk through a frozen Korean forest at night in the dead of winter!

Mount Gariwang (가리왕산) and its surroundings would have been an excellent place to experience Kalpa's music, but unfortunately South Korea decided to destroy a bunch of acreage in order to make room for the 2018 Winter Olympics :(

More like GHOSTjoseon, amirite???

However, I feel there are a couple of things that really hurt the band.   For one, I don't know if we're supposed to believe that Black Candle is actually playing the drums or not, but it's pretty fucking obvious that they're programmed.   Unless they're done EXTREMELY well or it fits the aesthetic of the band, I usually can't stand programmed drums, especially when we're talking black metal from almost 15 years ago.   It almost always just makes the band sound even more cheesy and cheap than they already are :/  Also, I feel like it takes away from the emotion and organic feel of a real drummer, and instead replaces it with something mechanical and lifeless (a common complaint about programmed drums in general).   I understand that it might be difficult to find a drummer that's willing to join a black metal band in South Korea, but c'mon.   The shit on this record isn't that hard to play.   Get out of the basement and find a session drummer, as I'm pretty sure any competent drummer worth a shit would be able to play this stuff (especially with studio editing)!    

Black Candle, coming soon to a teen summer camp...near you!

I'm not going to pretend like I know what kind of an impact, if any, Kalpa had on the black metal scene here or if Black Candle is even still involved in the scene at all (I doubt it), and whatever happened to him seems to be kind of a mystery.   However, his legacy remains as the first in what could hopefully be a long line of trve kvlt Korean black metal hordes.

SNACKS

OK, so now that we've talked about what is widely considered to be Korea's first black metal band, it's time to get into some O.G. Korean snacks, some of which have been around for decades!

Saewookkang (새우깡)

In terms of what we could consider Korea's "modern snack" scene, it doesn't get much more old-school than this.   They've been around since the early 1970s!   It's a wheat-based snack that you'll see all the time as free finger food to munch on as you drink your beer or soju, although I've also used to feed to seagulls when I'm on a boat or near a harbor :D

I always thought these were just OK and kind of boring, so maybe I've been in Korea too long because I'm kind of digging the fuck out of these right now!   It's slightly puffy, but also still maintains that crunch which is so crucial.   As fir the taste, it has a subtle, lightly salted shrimp flavor.   On the back of the bag they also recommend eating these with ketchup, which I found to be really tasty as well!  I guess there's some controversy with with these particular snack as well, because they are EERILY similar to Kappa Ebisen (かっぱえびせん), a JAPANESE snack that made hit the shelves about seven years before Saewookkang in 1964.   Uh-oh!   We'll have to have a face-off at some point to see who is the true King of the Shrimp-Flavored Snacks That Resemble French Fries Scene (or KSFSTRFFS as its referred to on the street).   8 / 10

Saewookkang's spicy version

But wait!  You really think I'd talk about the regular version without mentioning that there's a SPICY version as well?!   This is a fucking metal blog!!   I don't know about you guys, but I pride myself on being able to not only handle my alcohol, but also my spicy food as well.    That's why I decided to get crazy and try the version with a little extra heat to see how it compares, and, of course, which one is better.    Honestly, I'm going to have to go with the spicy version.   It's not like it's super spicy or anything, but it does pack enough of a mild kick to be acceptable (unless you're dead set on something more intense).   8 / 10

Below is a cute commercial for the snack.   You may be thinking, "Wulf, what are you doing dude?   This shit is the least metal thing of all time."   Maybe you're right, but if you play/listen to this commercial 100 times in a row you will achieve a specific kind of madness unattainable through even the most ludicrously torturous black metal that has been created thus far.



BONUS 1991 COMMERCIAL (same song too!):

Postick (포스틱)

Making its grocery/convenience store debut in the late 1980s, Postick is basically a French fry snack for people who don't have the time or patience to hit up a fast food joint for the real thing.    It kind of tastes like a cross between a French fry, Funyuns, and the Saewookkang snack (see above), and is actually quite tasty!   Addicting too.   At first I thought they were just OK because they don't taste exactly like French fries, but actually the more I eat the more I like them.   Maybe it's because I'm also looking at the cute potato cartoon dude on the front of the bag and imagining him baking the snacks just for me.   That expression on his face really gets me too, like he's hoping so much that you like what he's made.   Yeah, yeah, I know, that's the whole point of having a cutesy cartoon character as the mascot for your snack in the first place, but I think they really did a great job because it worked on me!   I guess he's also kind of metal too since he's a cannibal (being a potato himself and then baking and eating potato snacks).



To get more specific about how this snack looks and tastes, they are quite puffy (something I usually don't like) but they maintain a significant crunch as well, which I think makes up for it.   You also get a shitload of these in one bag, I was pretty surprised!   It's definitely more than enough for one person to handle on their own.  Also, the back of the bag recommends eating these with ketchup, just like the Saewookkang snacks.   I didn't think this would work out too well because it just seemed like an extremely lazy/shitty substitute of eating real French fries with ketchup, but oddly enough I found this to be false!   Especially the aftertaste, which really does make it seem like you just ate some fries and ketchup.   Great work Mr. Potato Chef Dude!!   8.5 / 10 (with ketchup)

Kanchyo (칸쵸)

This stuff is tasty as fuck.   It's very simple, consisting of a biscuit shell with chocolate spread or something in the middle.   Not too complicated or weird, just a solid, sweet snack, and very addicting.   It's also really cute and has cartoon characters and designs printed on each piece.   Gumiho says that it used to be two cute biscuit people (a boy and a girl) that were on the front of the box, but I'm pretty sure the design right now is actually meant to be either identical or at least resemble its original 80s "retro" design to coincide with Reply 1988 (응답하라 1988), a super-popular Korean drama right now that's set in the 1980s (I've noticed that a bunch of other snacks are doing this as well).   Solid snack if you're kind of hungry, want something sweet, but don't want to go overboard.   8.5 / 10

Below is what is probably Kanchyo's first commercial.   The Disney characters that briefly make an appearance seems pretty random, and I wonder if Lotte (the makers of Kanchyo) ever actually bothered to pay Disney to use them:



A more modern Kanchyo commercial below, and, like most things in Korea now, is excruciatingly cute.   I don't mean to make light of the subject at all, but I've always found it so bizarre (and, of course, sad) that both Korea and Japan are the undisputed kings of putting out a never-ending stream of ludicrously cute stuff, but maintain some of the highest rates of suicide (and therefore, I'm assuming, depression), especially Korea.   But that's a subject for another day!



Also, similar to Saewookkang, it's a strong possibility that Kanchyo is a clone of Hello Panda, an extremely similar Japanese snack that was created in the late 1970s.   Sorry Korea, I don't mean to steal your thunder!   However, you gotta give credit where it's due!

Ojingeo Ddangkong (오징어 땅콩)

Weird-ass name (translates to "squid peanuts"), but fucking delicious!    Salty, crunchy, squid-flavored shell with a sweet peanut inside.   Killer 1-2 punch!   I think it's supposed to resemble takoyaki, the popular Japanese street food snack.   Like the others on this list, this is pretty addicting.   Also, it's interesting too because when you eat it as a whole and the squid-shell taste combines with the peanut, it creates a new, unique flavor, which is pretty cool.   Highly recommended with beer (except Korean beer...but that's a topic for another post).
8.5 / 10

Ddangkong Gangjeong (땅콩강정)

Similar to the peanut squid balls (ha) above, we have this stuff, which roughly translates to "peanut snack" in English, except gangjeong (강정) in this case is kind of like a traditional snack cake...just click on the link, Wikipedia will do a better job of explaining it.   Anyway, also like the peanut squid balls, these are surprisingly pretty fucking delicious!   Instead of a squid flavored biscuit-y shell this time, we get crispy rice balls!   It's quite crunchy too, as well as being fairly sweet with what I'm assuming is a mild presence of honey.   Can't go wrong with this snack.   8.5 / 10

Caramel Corn Maple (카라멜콘 메이플)

Saved the best for last.   I thought these were going to suck, as I'm not crazy about caramel, maple syrup-flavored shit, "puffy" snacks, or sweet stuff in general.   Also, the front of the bag has a cartoon corn-on-the-cob mascot who's wearing what I'm assuming is a Canadian Mountie hat and a jug of maple of syrup, and apparently they use real Canadian maple syrup too, according to the info on the back of the bag.   So yeah, this shit is obviously going to be way too sweet and gross, right??   Hoooooly shit was I wrong!   This is one of the best snacks I've ever had!   It's pretty intense (although it doesn't go overboard with the syrup like I was expecting it to), so I don't know if I'm going to eat it all the time, but if you're in the mood for a snack that's similar to pancakes with maple syrup, then this is your best bet!   It tastes just like a crunchy pancake!   I couldn't believe it!   Killer stuff.   9 / 10  

Obviously, this isn't an exhaustive list.  And yeah, I know, it's boring that I gave all the snacks an 8.5, but I'm being completely fucking honest!   These snacks obviously kick the shit out of the Korean Doritos and Cheetos (see previous entries in the series).   There are tons of other tr00 Korean "modern" snacks (as opposed to traditional Korean snacks, which do exist, and we'll get to later!) that we could have covered, but we'll just have to save for another time.   Are you hungry yet?   Wherever you are in the world, I hope you manage to find the time to sit down, rip open a bag of your favorite snacks, put on your favorite killer black metal tunes, and just have a fucking time!!

At the Movies with Wulf!!

In addition to Korean black metal and Korean snacks, I'm going to start covering Korean cinema as well, particularly horror and action as well!  

BEDEVILLED (김복남 살인사건의 전말)

As you can tell by the poster, Bedevilled
is the feel-good comedy of the summer
that you've been waiting for!!

Korean films tend to be pretty intense, and I've noticed that the thriller/horror movies here seem to often feature themes of rape, physical/sexual abuse, pedophilia, domestic violence, sadism, suicide, extremely abnormal psychology, and other supremely depressing topics.   I don't feel like this is the place to really explore WHY this seems to be so prevalent in Korean films, or if it is even is a thing and not just a result of the small sample of the films that I've seen, but more often than not, at least in my experience, you're probably not going to be in a happy mood by the time the credits roll.   

Why am I talking about this?   Because Bedevilled (김복남 살인사건의 전말, or, literally "The Whole Story of the Kim Bok-nam Murder Case") (2010) has got ALL of this stuff!   This movie is pretty fucked up and not for the faint of heart, although I wouldn't say it's quite on the same level of absurdity as like Human Centipede or Audition, as its a bit more grounded in reality and conceivable that it could have been based on a true story.   At first I found the movie to be kind of nihilistic and just a tale of revenge and brutal violence, but now I realize that it's really about standing up to oppression and injustice, as well as the importance of defending those who are unable to defend themselves.  There's also some social commentary in this as well in terms of the young violently rebelling (due to decades of abuse) against Korea's traditional, patriarchal, rigidly hierarchical society, which definitely adds a much-needed, deeper, more meaningful dimension to the film.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that this is a MUST-SEE, but it's still quite good.   Also, the performances of all the actors are great, especially from Seo Young-hee (as Kim Bok-nam).   I don't want to spoil anything, but she does an amazing job transforming from sweet and happy-go-lucky to completely batshit insane.  The trailer (below) unfortunately doesn't do the movie justice, as there's a lot more going on in the movie than just some woman going crazy and killing everyone.

Interview with Bestial Desekrator of Sexual Fornications and Goetic Ritual of Nocturnal Damnation!!

Interview conducted via email in August, 2014.   

Thanks to Gumiho (구미호) for the translation from Korean to English.

It took fucking forever to get this interview done, which was entirely my fault.   Anyway, there's been a few updates since this interview took place- at the time of this writing, Goatphomet is on hold since earlier this year, and Nocturnal Damnation has acquired a new member, Patiwat (Zygoatsis, Masochist), a well-known figure in the Thai underground black/death metal scene.   Also, Nocturnal Damnation released a split with Goatchrist666, "A Domination of Tyrant's Necro-sodomy", earlier this year through Inhuman Assault Productions.

Listen and support Nocturnal Damnation's music: https://nocturnaldamnation.bandcamp.com/

Keep updated about Nocturnal Damnation's music:  https://www.facebook.com/OfficialNocturnalDamnation/

Check out Nocturnal Damnation's official website:  http://goatwar.egloos.com/

WULF:  It seems like you're in two bands right now, Nocturnal Damnation and Goatphomet.   Tell us a bit about these bands.   Also, why did you change the name of your old band, Adokhsiny, to Goatphomet?   And what does "Adokhsiny" mean, exactly?

Bestial Desekrator

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL:  Hails (Wulf)! It is a pleasure to do this interview with you.   Simply saying, Nocturnal Damnation and Goatphomet are Black/Death Metal bands, but stylistically both bands are quite different.   Nocturnal Damnation is bestial black/death metal influenced by Blasphemy, Black Witchery, Sarcofago, Beherit (old), Goatpenis, Naked Whipper, and Bestial Warlust, and Goatphomet plays ritualistic black/death similar to Goatlord, Archgoat, Teitanblood, Nocturnal Blood, Void Medication Cult, Sperm of Antichrist, Embrace of Thorns.   The reason why I changed Adokhsiny's band name to Goatphomet is because I wanted the name to be more black/death metal-sounding.   I thought about it a lot, and it just wasn't the style that I wanted even though I wanted to play black/death metal when I reformed Adokhsiny.   As for the name, Adokhsiny means "Ancient Korean ghost name" (edit:  I still don't know what he's talking about here)!

Patiwat

WULF:  On all of Nocturnal Damnation's records, the instruments are played by Infernal Saviour of Nuclear Onslaught and Warmageddon, from Spain.   How did you meet this guy, and why did you decide to collaborate with him?   As for Goatphomet, it looks like you're in that band with fellow members Nuclear Vaginaliax and Rotten Clitorias Vengeance and H. Goatkommander.   Are these current members Korean as well?   The reason why I ask is because the former members of Adokhsiny were originally Koreans, but eventually the Korean members left and you were joined by members from other countries (such as Devoured and Tormentized from Malaysia, and Obispo from The Phillipines).   How did you meet these guys?   Wasn't it difficult to write music with members in different countries?  

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL:  I remember that I knew about Infernal Saviour coincidentally.   At that time I ran an underground label that he wanted to release his album through, and I thought this was a good idea.   So I released two of his albums, and then we started to talk about many things.   I asked him to help me with Nocturnal Damnation, and he agreed.   That's how we started recording together.   So I think that the reason we worked together is because we wanted to help each other, but now he's not in the band.   Honestly, I don't want to talk about Infernal Saviour because he's not a member anymore.   On the internet, there's a lot of bad gossip or rumors about me and my band, so I don't want to talk about him anymore.   As for Nuclear Vaginaliax and Rotten Clitorias Vengeance, he's Korean, and H. Goatkommander is a member of the Peruvian black/thrash metal band Hell Torment.   He helped me as a session musician on Goatphomet's demo.   As I told you, knowing about friends from other countries is because I ran an underground label, so I helped them with the releases of their albums.   I wasted a few years seeking band members in Korea, so I gave up having Korean members.   This is one of the reasons why I work with foreigners.   There is some inconvenience working on music this way in Korea but I'm used to it by now, so it's not that hard for me.

WULF:   You've said before that you don't really associate with the rest of the bands in the Korean metal scene.   Why?   Are there any worthwhile bands that you DO associate with or recommend checking out?   Also, since the Korean metal scene is so bad, where you like to be instead?

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL:   I used to hang out with Korean bands around 2002-2003, when I was younger.   I was just beginning to play music.   Honestly, I still haven't met people or bands here that suit my musical tastes.   There are so many trendy bands in Korea, and they just aren't my style, so it's hard to hang out with Korean bands for me.   But also, I don't have much interest in this kind of music, such as metalcore, melodic death, post-thrash, slam, brutal death, melodic black metal, etc.   So I don't feel any necessity to check out these kinds of Korean metal bands.   Sometimes I check out new Korean bands, but they're usually just metalcore or melodic death, or it's just news about new music by (popular Korean metal bands such as) Sahon, Oathean, Silent Eye, Method, etc., so I don't have much interest in this.   But if there's a really good black/death metal band with an underground aesthetic, then I'd love to support them.   But I'm afraid that I haven't seen that kind of band yet (Kalpa is/wasgood, even though they're a different style from my music, but I still feel like I'd like to listen to them if they released a new album).   Honestly, I've always thought that I'd rather work on music or tour in Germany, Italy, USA, Brazil, Peru, Colombia, etc. than in Korea.   

WULF:  Obviously, you use dark and violent imagery in your music and artwork.   How much of a role does Satanism or a belief in the occult play in your everyday life?   Is there a specific philosophy or spiritual belief system you adhere to?   At what point in your life did you begin to explore "the dark side of life" (the Left Hand Path).   Finally, is there any literature of other non-musical art that you find particularly meaningful or influential?

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL:  Well... I'm actually an atheist! I don't believe in Satan but when I write lyrics I'm influenced by Satanism, occultism, demonology... It's a musical theme rather than my personal life philosophy.   I'm not a philosopher so it's not easy to explain about specific philosophies, but I adhere to the philosophies of Johan Wolfgang von Goethe and Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche.   Actually my life has not been smooth, and I haven't been happy since my early school days.   So because I was always alone I began to search for extreme metal music.   I like books or movies about Satanism, the occult, and they inspire me (as well as Johan Wolfgang von Goethe's "Faust", Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche's "Also Sprach Zarathustra", "Anti-Christ" and occult horror films such as "Alucarda", "The Devils", "The Exorcist", "The Devil's Rain", "Escalofrio (Satan's Blood)".... and plus "Devils Inside Her"(1977 Adult horror, hahaha).   I want to read books about demonology but it's hard to find these books in Korean, so I just do research and read about this on the internet even though it's still hard to understand completely.

WULF: On the other hand, I'm sure you have some guilty pleasures as well in terms of music.   I know you probably have lots of violent, bestial war metal in your record collection, but what is the most embarrassing album you own or enjoy listening to?   For example, I'm a huge fan of Celtic Frost's "Cold Lake", even though it's considered by many to be one of the worst metal albums of all time.

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL:  Well, I've already sold the albums that I think are the worst, so I don't have any records that are embarrassing in my collection.   But some albums made me disappointed or embarrassed.   I'm a huge fan of Morbid Angel but "Illud Divinum Insanus" record was one of the worst albums so I was really embarrassed, but on the other hand it's kind of fun/funny.   Their earlier albums and demos are classics, but their recently albums are really disappointing, so I don't listen to them anymore.   I think the it's better to listen to earlier stuff like German thrash legends Kreator, Destruction, Sodom, and Celtic Frost, too.   It's better for me to listen to the records that I have or bestial black/death, black/thrash, old school death/thrash, or NWOBHM, rather than listening to theerrible albums.

WULF:  The West is terrified of North Korea.  While it's obvious that most South Koreans don't give much of a shit about North Korea and all of their empty threats and war-mongering, no one can deny that the North Korean people are pretty isolated from the rest of the world.   I would assume that most Western music is forbidden, especially something as volatile as heavy metal...similar to how things were for the Eastern Bloc countries dominated by the Soviet Union in the 1980's.   My question is, if you had the chance to perform a live show there, would you do it?   If so, how do you think the people would react to your music?   I know this is completely unrealistic, but I think it's an interesting scenario to think about.

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL: It's a fun question, but I don't like to talk about politics.   It's true that Koreans don't care and North Korea bans Western music, but I'm not interested in North Korea and usually it's about the politics.   So even if there was a chance to perform in North Korea, I'm not that interested.   Also, I think the people in North Korea wouldn't react well.   I'd rather just kick that pig Kim Jong-un's ass instead, that would be more fun hahaha.

WULF:  What are your plans for the future of your bands?   Any new releases coming up?   What about live performances?   What do you hope to accomplish with your bands?

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL:  Currently Nocturnal Damnation is working on new songs with a new member.  I'm planning on releasing a split 7" and an EP, but I haven't found a label yet.   Goatphomet is planning to work on new music this fall or winter, but I'm not sure.   I really want to perform live, but I can't because I don't have any members here to play with.   If I can, I'd rather perform Southeast Asia or Europe than South Korea.   And I want to show that Nocturnal Damnation and Goatphomet are not just studio-only bands (I don't like studio, one-man bands!!!!).

WULF:  That's all the questions I have.   Any final comments are yours...

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL: Hail the Goat!!!   Death to false!!!

Black Metal Banchan - Part 1: Sad Legend + Cheetos

Metal magazines and websites always talk about metal and beer, but what about metal and SNACKS?   Yeah, I know that anyone who listens to the excellent (and my favorite) podcast Illogical Contraption knows that they always do a snack chat segment during their show, but I always feel like I'm missing out on all the good stuff they're talking about because I'm not in the US right now!   Well, I've decided to make matters into my own hands by not just doing my own snack chat (with local Korean snacks since that's where I'm living at the moment), but also making it relevant to metalheads the world over by exploring the mysterious realm of the Korean black metal underground.   Obviously, Korea doesn't have a world-famous METAL scene at all, let alone a black metal one, but that doesn't mean there are some hidden gems lurking amidst the shadows...

Sad Legend - Sad Legend (1998)

First of all, that's a pretty cool album cover.   Yeah it looks a bit amateurish, and the Sad Legend logo is lame as fuck, but it definitely makes sense when you listen to the music itself.   Even if you didn't know this album was by a Korean band, this still feels kind of "exotic" or unique.   Being both atmospheric and melodic, it's kind of reminds me of like old-school Graveworm or something like that (even though most of Graveworm's stuff actually came out after this album was released).   Anyway, what's cool about this album is that it's absolutely drenched in gloomy keyboards, wailing female vocals, haunting male clean vocals, enchanting melodies, and mournful guitar leads, with all the other typical characteristics of the genre such as rasps, blastbeats, etc.  It all feels very late '90s and slightly dated, but I feel like that's part of its charm.

I really wish I could provide a link to their Bandcamp or something, but I have a feeling this CD is long out of print (it's going for between $55-$200 on Amazon right now!) and the band seems to be currently inactive.   Maybe it's on iTunes?   I don't know.   Anyway, you can find it on Youtube (sounds like a low quality upload, but whatever), so check it out if you want!

Sad Legend - classic lineup

The cover art also perfectly captures the mood, I'd say.   I feel like overall thematically what they're going for is represented in the title of the first track, "Han".   In this case, I believe what han is referring to is the Korean phenomenon of a kind of collective feeling or consciousness of the Korean people who constantly feel "oppression and isolation in the face of insurmountable odds (the overcoming of which is beyond the nation's capabilities on its own). It connotes aspects of lament and unavenged injustice" (Wikipedia).

I'm not exactly sure which incarnation
of Sad Legend this is, but thought it
was a fun pic so I decided to include it.

While the validity of this as an actual psychological phenomenon is questionable, my Korean girlfriend (her Malicious Intent black metal horde name is Gumiho) assures me that it's a real thing.   I feel like the music definitely seems to capture that emotion.   While it would have been cool for the band to maybe incorporate some traditional Korean instrumentation or something to further drive this concept home as "authentically Korean" or whatever, I think it's still really cool the way it is.   Anyway, even though I don't really listen to this kind of music anymore, I still found this to be a good album and worth checking out if you're interested in Korean metal or you're looking for some melodramatic, misty-forest-under-a pale-moon-at-midnight melodic black metal.

Your typical cheonyeo gwishin, being all creepy.
If you wake up in the middle of the night to find
THIS standing in the middle of your room,
you may be in trouble.

Also, I could be mistaken, but the woman on the cover reminds me of a cheonyeo gwishin (virgin ghost), a spirit that is commonly featured in many East Asian ghost stories, and, nowadays, movies.   If you've ever seen the American remakes of like Ringu (The Ring) or Ju-on (The Grudge), you'll know what I'm talking.   The girl/woman with the dirty long hair over her face, batshit insane facial expression, and contorted body lurching towards you?   That's a cheonyeo gwishin.   She may not look so bad on the album cover, but just do a quick google image search to see the actual face they have hiding under that creepy mane.   I wouldn't advise you to do this before attempting to go to sleep for the night.  

 Recommended tracks: "Han", "Dawn of Despair", and "Realm of the Soulless".  

Korean Cheetos

Surprisingly, this music seemed to go rather well with the snacks I'll be talking about tonight.   "Why?" you may ask.   Because we're talking about a legendary snack that's in a sad state of affairs right now here in The Land of the Morning Calm.   Korea, we need to talk about your Cheetos situation.   The trend right now is to have everything be honey-butter flavored or sweet and salty, and Korean Cheetos are no exception.   For one, everyone knows that Cheetos should be cheesy, or at least have that option should you want just some good ol' original Cheetos.   However, in Korea, sadly, you don't have that option unless you go to an international mart or something.   From what I've seen at least, you unfortunately only have three flavors to choose from on a regular basis: BBQ, Spicy & Sweet, and Honey Cheese (ugh).   

"Spicy" and Sweet

Let's start with the Spicy & Sweet first.   Honestly, it kind of sucks.   There's too strong of an imbalance with the taste, with it being too sweet and not spicy or salty enough.   In fact, if I didn't know that it was supposed to be spicy in the first place I wouldn't have even noticed.   If you thought maybe you wouldn't be able to handle it because you're in Korea (they love their spicy food!), not to mention also the fact that Chester Cheeto himself is belching flames on the front of the packaging, I can strongly assure you that your mouth will be fine.   It even has spicy peppers and garlic too on there, presumably to emphasize its heat!  C'mon guys!
5/10

BBQ...I have no idea what the fuck is supposed to be
going on in this artwork.

Next up is the BBQ.   First of all, this should be amazing because Korean BBQ kicks ass and is one of the best ways to spend an evening with your bros.   In fact, one of the best things about Korean metal shows is that afterwards everyone (bands and their fans) goes out for BBQ afterwards, all the while drinking plenty of Korean beer and gross soju (we'll talk about those another time).   Anyway, a slam dunk for Cheetos right?   Wrong!!  This shit is fucking wack, especially if you compare it to how great Korean BBQ is!   The Cheetos version of Korean BBQ is completely underwhelming- it has a weak taste, it's too sweet, and doesn't really taste like BBQ at all.   It kind of reminds me of like a shitty version of American BBQ chips or something.   It just doesn't really leave much of an impression, other than "blah".   Koreans deserve a Cheetos snack that truly represents what Korean BBQ is all about!   That moksal (pork chop) grilling on the packaging is false advertising!
5.5/10

Finally, we have the dreaded Honey Cheese...

...actually...these aren't too bad!   I spoke too soon!   I had assumed that they were going to be garbage because of the previous two disappointments, but these are surprisingly decent!   They're still a bit too sweet, but at least you can actually kind of taste the traditional Cheetos cheese flavoring or whatever insane chemical shit they use to get Cheetos to taste the way they do.   However, they're still too sweet (too much honey flavoring) and not salty or cheesy enough, and I find myself enjoying it less and less the more I eat.   But then again...ahhh! I don't know what to think, can't make up my mind.   I just wish there was, at the very least, a regular, original Cheetos option.   Anyway, this is arguably the least offensive of the bunch.
6.5/10

ZOOM!!

What's up sluts and slut-shamers!!  DJ Wulf is back in the house, here to just make a quick post and get everyone caught up on what's going on here at Malicious Intent Enterprises-

1.   Everyone welcome Tanelorn!!  He was the last DJ for Malicious Intent's radio show at the University of Kansas' own 90.7 FM KJHK Lawrence, so of course he deserves your unwavering, unquestioning respect and loyalty.  Unfortunately, for whatever reason the show was axed after him, but that's most likely because it just became too brutal for the radio station to handle and Tanelorn didn't play enough Deafheaven or whatever is hot with the kids nowadays.  Anyway, prepare yourself for what he has in store for us in the coming days!!

I did a quick Google image search of Tanelorn and this is the first thing that came up.  I guess it's from Michael Moorcock's (my fave pornstar btw) Elric saga which I've never read, but I suppose it looks like a metal-enough place... except it definitely needs more skulls and churches being set on fire. 

  

Judge Dredd (left) and Wulf (right) during happier times

2.   The main clowns of this operation (Judge Dredd and I) have been so busy that we haven't been posting that much, as I'm sure you've noticed.   That's because we've been so busy on various quests and errands...Judge Dredd is currently scouring Southeast Asia (and perhaps Australia in the near future) for unholy relics and artifacts to plunder before returning to the US to continue his studies, while I myself have recently returned to Korea from my own blasphemic travels (a survey of the glorious nation of Taiwan) to resume operations.

Seriously, has anyone ever figured out how to actually play this fucking game?!

3.   DUNGEON SYNTH!!  It's no secret that I'm a huge tabletop RPG fan, but for years and years have been looking for the perfect playlist for medieval fantasy RPGs like Dungeons & Dragons, Pathfinder, Lamentations of the Flame Princess, etc.   One of the biggest problems with this is that if you look up "RPG music playlist" or "epic music" or whatever it's most likely going to be either overblown symphonic movie OST type stuff or music that is already from video games.   While it's cool that people have taken the time to compile these playlists, I don't feel like they match up at all with what is usually going on in the game.   Epic symphonic movie music only works when everyone is fighting some crazy battle with the boss or something like that...otherwise, it's just too distracting for when people are just standing around talking and shit.   As for music that's already from video games, you're probably just going to think of the game that it's from instead of using your own imagination.  For example, I used to play Rifts with some people and the GM would put on Chrono Trigger battle music whenever we would fight a battle.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love Chrono Trigger...it's probably still my favorite video game of all time in terms of storyline and characters.   However, all I could think about were just scenes from Chrono Trigger.   The music should inspire the imagination, not distract.

Now THIS is what I'm talking about!!

The only music that's ever clicked with me 100% for fantasy tabletop RPGs has been dungeon synth.   Until recently, I'm not even sure if I knew that it was a legitimate music genre...I just thought it was how people described Mortiis' "era I" goofiness (pretty much all of Mortiis' shit is goofy, but that's beside the point).   Seriously though, I had a really tough time trying to find good music for my D&D games... besides Mortiis, I really only knew about Lord Wind's later shit, Sunn O)))'s "øø Void" (not dungeon synth, but worked well for dungeons, especially The Temple of Elemental Evil!!), and of course Ildjarn-Nidhogg's beautiful "Hardangervidda" (except for the second track, which has some cheesy percussion).   Obviously, this isn't enough music to last for a long gaming sesh, and it does tend to get kind of old if you play the same stuff over and over again.

I hadn't discovered Pathfinder yet, give me a break!!

Anyway, while there's some older dungeon synth that came out awhile ago like Burzum's "Hliðskjálf", I'm primarily interested in are newer artists who are essentially emulating old school Mortiis.   This seems like it may be kind of an insult, but I mean it with the utmost respect!!  It's awesome!!  Perfect for roleplaying background music, relaxing, being weird in your room, etc.  I'm going to start writing posts on my favorite dungeon synth musicians soon, and who knows?  Maybe I'll even have an interview or two as well to give the posts some more depth :)

The old Castles and Crusades/Pathfinder crew (RIP!!): Nathan, Terry, Anson, Me (Wulf), Josh (Judge Dredd), Jake, and (Grym) Kym...illustration by Grym Kym!!

4.   I've been meaning to have more interviews coming up with Korean metal bands (or pretty much anyone else who is interested!), but due to a busy schedule and other stuff it's just taking too long.  Hopefully that will change soon, as there's still tons of bands here that I think are worth talking to so we can get a greater understanding of the state of extreme music here in South Korea!

Somewhere in South Korea, this dude is running around and making pagan black metal...obviously it's up to us to get the inside scoop!!