Black Metal Banchan - Part 4 - Philippines Addition (Deiphago + Pinoy Snacks + Feng Shui)!!

For this round of the Black Metal Banchan, we're going to take a brief detour to Southeast Asia, wherein floats a collection of islands renowned for their relaxing beaches, beautiful women, and, of course, extremely violent political scene.   Yep, you guessed it!!  The Philippines!

First, we're going to explore the delightful music of a fun Filipino black metal band by the name of Deiphago.   If I'm not mistaken, Deiphago are one of those super brutal "bestial black/death war metal" bands similar to Black Witchery, Blasphemy, etc.   You can usually tell it's one of these bands NOT by the excessive amount of bullets-and-spikes adornments, but rather by the fact that they almost always rock the style of corpsepaint WITHOUT the white.   You don't see Beherit, Blasphemy, or Proclamation running around on stage with any of that white clown paint nonsense on.   Nope, only the black paint (except for Caller of the Storms from Blasphemy, who doesn't wear any at all because because either he's too cool for it and just wears sunglasses, is already black anyway, or maybe all of the above).   Even Archgoat and Black Witchery go without it sometimes!

Just a typical Tuesday night for the ol' Deiphago gang!!

It looks like Deiphago formed in the late 1980s and went under several generic "evil" names before finally settling on Deiphago (or "god-eater", if I'm not mistaken) in 1991.   Anyway, these dudes put out a few (including one accidentally amusing) cassette demos before calling it quits in 1998, and for most bands the story would have just ended there.   However, the band was far from over.   Apparently, Sidapa and Voltaire 666 (the brains behind the operation) relocated to Costa Rica for whatever reason in 2004 and started up the band again!   They decided to not fuck around with cassette demos this time, and immediately started releasing professional material (splits and an LP) before being picked up by Hells Headbangers and thus ascending to trvly kvlt status.  

  Probably wouldn't be my first choice if I had to
pick a creature from the 1st edition Monster Manual to inform the listener
that this music is pure sonic annihilation.  Just look
at that puny fucking knife.  I feel like you'd only get like 100 XP for
slaying one of these things.

Deiphago are frantic, brutal, sloppy, and absolutely do not fuck around with their obliterating wall of Satan-obsessed, blasphemic noise.   However, while Satanik Eon (2006) is pretty crazy, I think their Hells Headbangers debut, Filipino Antichrist (2009), ups the ante in terms of sheer insanity, in no small thanks to Devastator's (from Nicaragua, and of extremely questionable political beliefs) insane, machine gun-like drum torture.   The band just never fucking lets up!  Endless blasts, frantic guitar solos (like something Trey Azagthoth would come up with on PCP), and Voltaire 666's lunatic shouting make this is seriously some of the most intense shit I've ever heard in my life, especially since I'm pretty sure these guys are serious about what they're into.  I don't really know how to review this stuff so far because it's just so ludicrous.   Even the Sarcófago cover, while faithfully executed, is definitely superior (especially since it features real, sloppy-ass warpspeed drums as opposed to the programmed crapola on the original).   Seriously, call me a wimp, but by the end of this album I feel like my brain has been completely fucking fried.   Definitely not recommended listening to these albums back to back if you value your sanity.

The lyrics to the title track pretty much sums it all up:

"From islands of the Southeast
I was born with warrior's blood
A descendant of Detinos
I bring vengeance, chaos and death
Bagobos guide my path
As I go into war

Filipino Antichrist, 2009 vinyl re-release album art.
Now this is more like it!!  Still kind of a shitty knife (sword?) though :(

I am a Filipino Antichrist
To Satan I gave my life
Worship Him with fire and blood
I trample down the heavens
Worship Him with swords and guns
I am warrior in Satan's name
From a a place where the sun dawns
And pours blood of my forefathers
I walk the earth with might and pride
Ready to conquer full of hate
The law of the strong within me
I smite all of Christianity

I am Filipino!
I am Antichrist!"


  

Not content to chill for too long, the band re-recorded and re-arranged their 1993 demo, giving it finally a proper release as an EP early in 2011 before releasing a split (comprised of Discharge and The Exploited covers) with Nuclearhammer later that year.  After this, the band decided to unleash another blitzkrieg of brutality with Satan Alpha Omega (2012).   This time around I must admit the cover art is way better, as they got the immensely-talented Benjamin A. Vierling to do some really whacked-out, Satanic/occult medieval grimoire type stuff.   This time around, these dudes are for real, right?  Is this Deiphago's magnum opus?

Huge improvement over the last album cover.  This
is actually really cool!      

At this point, while from a songwriting perspective there really hasn't been much of an evolution, it's clear that this album does at least have slightly better production standards.  Also, they picked up a new drummer too!  Devastator's out, and is replaced by a mysterious Costa Rican dude by the name of Savnok.   I have no idea where he got this name from (unless it's his real name ha), but a quick Google search brought me to this page.  At this point, I don't know about you guys, but I'm starting to get a really strong nerd vibe from these guys.   Just watch the fairly awkward interview below... it seems like behind the extremely evil and violent music and imagery, they probably play their fair share of Magic: the Gathering.



Anyway, like I said before, this is album is basically just a newer, improved version of Filipino Antichrist.   Same old story- artillery drums, chaotic warped guitars (to the point where it seems like improv at times), barely audible distorted bass, frantic shouts and screams...obviously, being a band for over 20 years at this point has only made the band more extreme.   If you want, you can actually listen to the entire album for free here.

Which leaves us with the band's latest album, Into the Eye of Satan (2015).   This time around, the dudes have enlisted super-producer/string virtuoso Colin Marston (of Behold the Arctopus, Dysrhythmia, Gorguts, Krallice, and probably a bunch of other stuff) to try and tame the chaos into something that is at-least somewhat half-way listenable.   However, that's not to say that this is more "melodic" or any less crazy than their previous albums, as the typical Deiphago insanity we have grown to love is still there, except it's just a bit easier to tell what's going on due to a much improved mix (I still have no idea what the fuck the bassist is doing though).  While it's true that some of the songs have some slower parts occasionally, we've still got the bizarre solos, the sloppy, blasting drums, the demon-possessed vokillz, etc.   However, the songwriting seems to be a bit more varied, experimental, and, well...psychedelic!  Seriously, it almost has this sort of strange, otherworldly vibe to it...it kind of reminds me of that title of that one Ween song, "Mushroom Festival in Hell".   Maybe Colin Marston got these dudes to finally chill out (at least for a little while) and smoke some weed.   I can see it now- "No, seriously, it will totally help your songwriting!"   If you were on some heavy duty hallucinogens in Hell, this would probably be an appropriate musical expression of that experience.   Bestial black/death war metal gone psychedelic?

Cover art for Into the Eye of Satan.   Pretty cool,
but I can't help but wonder if they intentionally
wanted the "eye of Satan" to resemble a butthole.
I feel like this is what Satan's asshole looks like
after eating a giant bowl of ghost pepper chili.  

Anyway, I guess it's important to mention that Deiphago have come under some controversy recently because allegedly the guitarist, Sidapa, assaulted a woman at one of their shows sometime last year.   I have absolutely no idea want went down exactly, nor do I want to get into that for this post, so while I think it's worth pointing out that this band may be at the very least kind of sketchy, for now I'm just going to focusing on the music.   After all, this post is about FILIPINO METAL, SNACKS, AND HORROR MOVIES, so I don't want to get bogged down with speculation about other shit.

Phew!  Well, after all that, I'll bet you're just dying to find out more about Deiphago!  Don't worry buddy, I've got you covered.   Check out the links below:
Follow Deiphago on Facebook so you can "like" things they have to say:  https://www.facebook.com/666division
Enjoy browsing Deiphago's wacky website: http://deiphago.webs.com/
Check out Deiphago's page on Hells Headbangers' website:  http://deiphago.hellsheadbangers.com/

SNACKS

Aw shit!!  Now it's time for the part of the banchan that's everyone's favorite!!  It's snack time!!  For this installment, Gumiho and I were joined by two mysterious entities, the ones known only as Über Officer and Gwishin, who dared to travel with us on our mayhemic journey to the land that unleashed Deiphago upon the world.    However, while the scenery was excruciatingly beautiful and the beaches torturously relaxing, we did find some time to see what was going on with the Filipino Snack Scene (FSS).   Check it out:

Ni Mang Juan (chik'n skin)


I have no idea what's going on in this commercial.

GUMIHO: (spits it out and makes a face).
ÜBER OFFICER:  What's the name of this again?
WULF:  Chik'n-skin.
ÜBER OFFICER:  Yeah, I definitely tasted a lot of SKIN, but not so much chicken.
WULF:  Ooo, scathing.  But chicken skin is good!
ÜBER OFFICER: Yeah, it doesn't taste anything like chicken, just skin.
WULF:  Like human skin?

Ni Mang Juan's Chik'n Skin...too extreme?

ÜBER OFFICER:  Just skin.
WULF:  I like chicken skin! Gwishin, what do you think?
GWISHIN: I just spit it out.
WULF:  Same reaction as Gumiho?
GWISHIN:  It's just salty...
WULF:  Hold on, I'm going to try a little bit more (grabs a handful).
ÜBER OFFICER:  The texture's not bad.
GWISHIN:  It doesn't really have any...texture.
WULF:  I actually think this is really good.  I really like it.
GUMIHO:  Really?
WULF:  Yeah, it tastes like-
UBER OFFICER: Skin.
WULF:  Yeah.  It tastes like roast chicken skin, but...(continues eating)
GUMIHO:  Oh my god, you're going to (finish the whole thing)...!
GWISHIN:  You're going to have diarrhea.
WULF:  I think this is really good.  I don't know how healthy it is, but I would actually eat it all the time.   OK, now, rate it out of 10!  Uber Officer?
ÜBER OFFICER:  So on a scale of 1 to 10...maybe, like, a 2?
GWISHIN:   I'm not going to eat it, so I'll give it a 0.
GUMIHO:  Um...0.
WULF:  I think this is good as fuck.   I'm going to give it an 8.5!

AVERAGE RATING:  2.625

Funky French Fry Snax (sweet cheddar)



WULF:  It tells us that it contains "real potato".
GUMIHO:  It's OK... better than (the Ni Mang Juan Chik'n Skin).
WULF:  What does it taste like?
GUMIHO:  Potato and cheese.
ÜBER OFFICER:  I don't know, I'm not getting any "funky" flavor, but it tastes much better than the Chik'n Skin.  It's got the crunchy texture, but it's "airy", so I like the "airy" taste...
WULF:  Kind of like Postick.
ÜBER OFFICER:  Yeah.  Post-dick?  I've never had any post-dick.
WULF:  Oh my God... real mature.
GUMIHO:  But Postick is better, I think.
GWISHIN:  I like the sweet cheddar flavor, but it's too salty.
ÜBER OFFICER:  No, that's the ocean water.  :p

WULF:  OK, I actually don't like it very much.
GWISHIN:  He's (just) going against us!
WULF:  No!  I'm really not trying to!  I'm not trying to be a hipster.  I (just) don't like that powdery taste.
ÜBER OFFICER:  The powder tastes like that mac and cheese mix.
WULF:  Yeah, that's true (everyone else agrees).  But I like (mac and cheese powder) when it's mixed with milk or whatever, I don't like it by itself.
ÜBER OFFICER:  That's why I like it.  It reminds me of mac and cheese.
WULF:  Oh, so you like that?  So it's a big hit!  What do you rate it?
ÜBER OFFICER:   Maybe like a...9?  8.5 or a 9.
GWISHIN:  Wow, that's great!  I'll give (it)... 3.  I don't really (like it), I'm not going to buy it.  It's much better than Chik'n Skin though.
GUMIHO:  5.  Not that good.
WULF:  Yeah, I'm going to give it a 4.
GUMIHO:  I don't like the powder.
WULF:  I don't like that either.  So a 3 or 4 for me.
GUMIHO:  I like powder, but this powder is-
WULF: It's like Postick, but but if you added like uh...some kind of like, sugar, to the macaroni mix-
GWISHIN:  Yeah, it's way sweeter.

AVERAGE RATING:  4.75

Mini Chocolate Pretzels



WULF: OK, so it's got (questionably) racist Native American stereotypes on the cover (of the bag).  Let's try it!  ....So it's pretzels dipped in chocolate, kind of like,,,Flipz?  (Uber Officer), you know Flipz?  Anybody?  (silence) ...You know, the pretzels covered in chocolate??  Flipz!  Back home?!
ÜBER OFFICER:  At home I call them "chocolate-covered pretzels".  (laughs all around)
ÜBER OFFICER:  (finishing the snack) It's like Pocky or Pepero, but the chocolate's better.
GWISHIN:  It has a better flavor.

GUMIHO:  It's good.  Um...what can I say?  (It tastes like) Nutella and a snack...
WULF:  So (it just tastes like) chocolate?  Nutella?
GUMIHO:  Hmm...just chocolate.  Right.
ÜBER OFFICER:  I'm kind of mixing the cheese powder with the chocolate-
GWISHIN:  Sounds disgusting.
WULF:  Whoa!  OK, could be a secret combination (Uber Officer) has discovered.
GUMIHO:  I'll give it...8.
GWISHIN:  This is like...sweet plus salty.
WULF:  I really like that combo.
GWISHIN:  I love that combo.
WULF:  But it's gotta be done in the right way, though.  Like, the other snack wasn't that good, but-
GWISHIN:  But this is good!
WULF:  I really like that style too.
ÜBER OFFICER:  But (this) is more of a dessert.  You have to be in the mood for (this snack), right?
WULF:  ...Yeah, I think this is really tasty, but I think the only problem is that it does not have a strong aftertaste.  It kind of hits you with the one-two punch and then there's not that much that really lingers after.  It just kind of makes you want to eat more.  Which is not really a big deal, but when you're out (of the snack) you're kind of sad.  ...but yeah, this is a solid snack!  I'm going to give it an 8.  Highly recommended.
ÜBER OFFICER:  I'll give it an 8 also.
GWISHIN:  8.
GUMIHO:  8.

AVERAGE RATING:  8

Whattatops



WULF:  Is there only one in there?
GUMIHO:  Yes...
WULF:  I think you're supposed to bite into it, because there's chocolate in the middle.  Let me try.
GWISHIN:  Is it good?
ÜBER OFFICER:  It's not bad.
WULF:  This is kind of like choco pie.
GUMIHO:  Mmm.  Ah!  Choco pie!
ÜBER OFFICER:  Choco pie's better.
GUMIHO:  Ah yeah, right.  But (they) taste (similar).
WULF:  I think we're (all) missing a crucial component, which is that middle part...you're not supposed to eat it like (how we're eating it now, which is divided up between 4 people).
GUMIHO:  (It's) pretty good.
WULF:  The middle part's the weakest part, actually.

It looks pretty good, but yeah...it was kind of shitty :(

ÜBER OFFICER:  Yeah, I didn't like the texture.  It's kind of (inaudible).
WULF:  Yeah, it started off strong but... (it's) kind of a disappointment.   ...This is kind of a basic...what's it called?   Little Debbie's?
ÜBER OFFICER:  Yeah, it's like a Little Debbie's.   But Little Debbie's tastes a little better.
WULF:  It's kind of like a Little Debbie's cheap dessert snack kind of thing...(a) chocolate muffin with sprinkles on top...with a weird chocolate middle spongy...
GWISHIN:  It's like salty and sweet mixed (with) salsa, but...it's not good.  Wow!  It's horrible!
ÜBER OFFICER:  I didn't like it.  If you want a dessert, it doesn't really satisfy you.  I give it about...a 3...3-plus.
WULF:  3.5?
ÜBER OFFICER:  3.5 I guess.
GWISHIN:  1.   Horrible.
GUMIHO:  Mmm...8!
WULF:  Whoa, Gumiho's the hipster!
GUMIHO:  Yeah, I like it!
WULF:  I am going to give it a 4...it started off strong, but that middle part I didn't really like that much.  So, yeah...too bad.  Sorry!

AVERAGE RATING:  4.125

Pee Wee (spicy chili)



GWISHIN:  Oh, spicy!
ÜBER OFFICER:  Are these pork rinds?  Oh, I like the spice!
WULF:  OK, hold on!  (starts eating)  Thoughts?  (Über Officer), go!
ÜBER OFFICER:  I like the spice, (but) the texture is not as good as the (Funky French Fry Snax), so... it's a mixture of "it tastes good" with-
WULF:  Does the stink come from vinegar, you think?
GWISHIN:  Yeah.
ÜBER OFFICER:  Yeah.  The taste isn't horrible, but I wouldn't eat it (normally).  The experience is not pleasant.  
GWISHIN:  I don't think this is a snack.  It's more like banchan.  You have to eat it with rice.
WULF:  Yeah...you think it would go well with rice?
GWISHIN:  It's...too strong (of a) flavor.
WULF:  Yeah...yeah.  OK.  Gumiho, what do you think?
GUMIHO:  I like this one.   I wish it was less salty, though.  
WULF:  Too salty?
GWISHIN:  You could eat it with rice.
WULF:  I think this is the best snack so far.

Bonus points for the cool Super Mario rip-off mascot.  I guess
that's supposed to be Pee Wee maybe?

GUMIHO:  Me too.
WULF:  It's absolutely delicious.  
ÜBER OFFICER:  The flavor is good, yeah.
WULF:  I like the really strong taste.  It's fairly spicy, it's got a kick.  
GUMIHO:  It's not that spicy.
WULF:  Well it's not THAT spicy, but it's spicy enough.
GUMIHO:  Not for me.
WULF:  OK, Gumiho is trying to be metal.  (in a grim black metal voice) IT'S NOT SPICY ENOUGH FOR ME.  It's got kind of a vinegary, spicy, little bit salty taste.  It's like shrimp cracker kind of thing.   According to the package-
GWISHIN:  It's shrimp?
WULF:  According to the package it's...cassava starch, whatever the hell that is... coconut oil, sugar, iodized salt, MSG-
GUMIHO:  MSG!!
WULF:  Cassava starch...hold on.   Ah, wheat flour, it's just wheat (I think this is wrong).
ÜBER OFFICER:  (probably getting really bored at this point)...Are we still recording?
WULF:  Yeah.  I think this is a killer snack.  I think it's awesome.  Gwishin, what do you give it?
GWISHIN:  5.  
ÜBER OFFICER:  I'd give it about a...what was the (inaudible)? 
GUMIHO:  Potato?
ÜBER OFFICER:  I'd give it about an 8.5.
WULF:  Wow, you really liked it!
ÜBER OFFICER:  The flavor is good.  But, you know...
GWISHIN:  Too strong.
ÜBER OFFICER:  No...just...the smell?  You know, you have to make a choice.  You're either going to eat that snack, or you're going to be able to talk to that girl at the party.
WULF:  (laughs) Haha yeah, those are tough life choices we face on a daily basis, as humans.
ÜBER OFFICER:  You've got to make a decision.  You're going to eat this stinky snack, or you're going to talk to the girl.
WULF:  I'd take the snack.  (Gumiho)?
GUMIHO:  8.5.
WULF:  8.5?  You really liked it!  I'm going to give a 9.  I think it's killer.  Anyway, in the meantime, I'm going to finish (this) one, then I'm going to finish the rest of the chicken crackling.
GUMIHO:  That's gross.

AVERAGE RATING:  7.75

Breadstix (cheese)




WULF: OK, so we're at the airport now and Gumiho and I are eating Breadstix Cheese by Nissin (however, I was mistaken, as this snack is actually made by Monde Nissin, a Filipino-based company not affiliated with the Nissin Foods corporation from Japan, but it still says Nissin on the package so I guess that's why I was confused).  It says at the bottom, "new look, same yummy taste!"  So, anyway, we're eating them.  (Gumiho), what do you think?
GUMIHO:  Um...it tastes really good, and I think it's for kids.  (It has a) rich cheese taste. which I really like.  
WULF:  (Uber Officer), what do you think?
ÜBER OFFICER:  I like the crunchy texture, like a breadstick, and the mild, cheesy flavor.  
WULF:  Yeah, you know, that's good.  That's very interesting that you said "breadstick", because I was kind of looking for a word...
ÜBER OFFICER:  It's called "breadstix" though. (laughs)
WULF:  Shit.  You got me.  OK, well anyway, I like that it tastes like a breadstick, but it's not overpowered by the cheese.  It's not too strong.  It's not like a Cheez-It.  At first you bite into it, and it's kind of a "bread-y" taste, almost kind of like a wafer-kind of a taste, or like an animal cracker, kind of chalky taste, but inside is a very subtle cheese taste that's really nice.  Not too strong, not too salty.  It's a delicious snack.  
GWISHIN:  I like it.  It's very soft, like, buttery...it says "cheese" on the cover, but I can't really taste cheese.  
WULF:  Well, I think the cheese taste is there but you can't taste it at first.  It's a subtle cheese aftertaste.  

Kind of a boring presentation, but really tasty!!

GWISHIN:  I can taste more butter than cheese. 
WULF:  Yeah, I think you're right.  Maybe more butter than cheese.  
GWISHIN:  But they should change the name from "breadstix" to "butter".  
WULF:  To just "butter"?  Not even "breadstix"?
GWISHIN:  No, "Breadstix Butter"!
WULF:  "Breadstix Butter".
GWISHIN:  Not "Breadstix Cheese".
WULF:  Yeah, that would maybe be better.  Or would it be "butter"?  (blahhhh)  OK, any final thoughts, (Gumiho)?  What do you give it out of 10?
GUMIHO:  Mmm...they have some iron here.
GWISHIN:  Iron! (laughs)
WULF:  That's good to know.  In case you're iron-deficient, look for Breadstix Cheese.
GUMIHO:  It contains some protein here.
WULF:  You don't have to read the ingredients list!  Out of 10, what do you give it?
GWISHIN:  I really liked it.
GUMIHO:  9?
WULF:  Wow!
GUMIHO:  9.5!
WULF:  Hoooooly shit!
GWISHIN:  A 9.
ÜBER OFFICER:  I thought it was pretty good.  Maybe like a 9, yeah.
WULF:  OK, a 9 is like "knock your socks off!"  "Pretty good" is like a 7.
ÜBER OFFICER:  Yeah, it's a pretty good 9.
WULF:  Well, I'm just going to say...Uber Officer is only being like that because he's sick.
GWISHIN:  No, this is the best Filipino snack ever.

ÜBER OFFICER:  It is good, yeah.
WULF:  Is it better than Chik'n Skin?
GWISHIN:  I hated that.
UBER OFFICER:  Oh, yeah!
WULF:  Is it better than-
ÜBER OFFICER:  It's better than all the ones we've tried so far.
WULF:  Is it better than Pee Wee's Chili?!
UBER OFFICER:  Yeah.
WULF:  OK, well anyway, I'm going to give this snack an 8.5, I think it's very good.  I think a slight improvement would be breadsticks, cheese, and jalapeno.  I think that would be really good.
GUMIHO:  Nooooo.
WULF:  Well, you guys are idiots.  Or it would be "Breadstix Spicy Nachos", I think that would be really good, too.  It needs a little bit of a kick, I think, to it.
ÜBER OFFICER:  It's pretty addicting.
WULF:  (Gumiho and Gwishin think this is a bad idea)  Well, it would be nice to have the option.  Maybe we should write them and tell them that they should make a "Breadstix Spicy Nacho Cheese" option.   Anything else?
GUMIHO:  Try it in the Philippines!

AVERAGE RATING: 9

MOVIE: FENG SHUI



While this isn't an amazing movie, it's kind of interesting from a cultural perspective.   I have no idea if this is actually an accurate representation of the average Filipino when it comes to superstitions, but I've noticed that throughout this movie there is a lot of talk about luck, demons, Christian and "Eastern" mysticism, cursed objects, etc., but with very little in the way of skepticism or anyone questioning the supernatural events that transpire throughout the film.   I'm also not sure if this was intentional on the part of the filmmakers themselves, and even though I may have happened to be in the Philippines recently, I'm definitely not an expert on the Pinoy cultural attitudes about this type of stuff.

No, this is not a lost Alejandro Jodorowsky
masterpiece.   

Anyway, the story is about an affluent family that lives in the suburbs and the mom (Kris Aquino, by far the best of the main actors in this film) ends up getting ahold of a bagua mirror.   While she initially experiences a bunch of good luck, a bad shit starts happening to her and the people around her.   In addition, weird supernatural wackiness starts happening like ghosts/zombies popping up out of nowhere, people start dying in ways that relate to their Chinese zodiac sign, you get the picture.   There's also a bunch of family drama about infidelity, the awkward position of having to choose between your mistress and your family, etc...basically, the kind of crapola you have to deal with on a daily basis if you're living in Manila.

Anyway, the highlight of the movie for me I'd say is actually at near the end of the movie, which involves a woman getting blasted with a shotgun.  Now, I know that sounds horrible for me to say, and the scene I'm assuming is supposed to be shocking and violent, but...the problem is that when the woman is shot, she literally flies back like 20 feet in the air, which caused me to burst out laughing and re-watch about 27 times.  It only made it worse when it happened again, but this time to a man, and he flies absurdly in the air as well which unfortunately reduces the "harrowing" atmosphere it seems like they're going for in this scene.

According to this source (the final
authority on anything having to do
with ancient Chinese astrology, if you
ask me), if I was a character in this movie
the image above would be the last thing
I would ever see (born in '86)!!

I'd also like to mention that parts of soundtrack for whatever reason kind of remind me of a cross between "The Return" (off of Ancient Rites' Dim Carcosa (2001), one of the first metal albums I ever ordered and metal bands I got into!) and the OST to The Room (2003).   Some parts wouldn't even make bad dungeon synth if they were reworked a bit!

So in closing...would I recommend this movie?  Not really, although it isn't a bad film!  It's got a few "scary" moments and some unusual twists and story developments, but it's not exactly essential viewing.   All in all, I'd say if you got together some friends to watch this film along with some Pinoy snacks (see above) and a bunch of Red Horse (San Miguel is for posers), I'd say you're in a fun time!   I hear there's a sequel too, but I can't vouch for its quality.   I would have watched it and reviewed it for this entry, but at this point I feel like this is long enough and I was just ready to get it over with.

Till next time!!

Do you want MORE Black Metal Banchan??  Check out our previous entries in the series below:
- Part 1
- Part 2
- Part 3

Black Metal Banchan - Part 3: Tr00 Korean Black Metal & Snacks (Kalpa + Random Korean Snack Classics + Bedevilled)

The Black Metal Banchan continues!   If you're new to the series or this blog and want to catch up on the older posts for the BMB:
You can read part 1 here.
You can read part 2 here.

Now THAT is a fucking sword!!!

It's impossible to talk about tr00 Korean black metal without getting into Kalpa.   Although this kind of thing is pretty difficult to actually prove, I'm almost positive that anyone who knows anything about Korean metal would say that the mysterious homegrown black metal horde Kalpa was the first to have sown mayhemic darkness upon The Hermit Kingdom.   Sure, there were other bands around the same time doing a similar thing, such as Sad Legend, Oathean, (see our previous posts about them in this series) and Moonshine, but both of those bands were kind of doing a more keyboard-y melodic black metal thing.   Kalpa formed in the same year as Moonshine and Oathean (1996), a year before Sad Legend, and while they didn't put out a proper album until almost a decade later, it seems like Kalpa was Korea's first attempt to get KVLT.

Kalpa, before Black Candle kicked
everyone else out of the band :(

How so?   Well for one, just look at their pics!   They're rockin' corpsepaint, spiked armbands, swords, long hair, forest promo shoots, etc.  It's too bad that the main dude, Black Candle, eventually kicked everyone else out of the band and became a one-man project because it looks like he wasn't too productive with that lineup change.   Still, you never know!   At least they released some material while they were together, which is more than can be said for a lot of bands!

Anyway, they unfortunately only released one full-length record, The Path of Eternal Years (2002), and honestly... it's not that amazing.   That's not to say that it's bad, as there's plenty of great black metal riffage and grim atmosphere!   Also, while the first half or so of the album is pretty typical of the genre, the second half is actually really cool!   It's one long song, about 16 minutes long, and is the title track as well.   Building with an atmospheric acoustic guitar and haunting keyboard melody, things start off slowly when the drums and electric guitars kick in, but before you know it, shit gets evil fast and you're in the middle of a flurry of blasbeats, tremolo-picked gusts of wind, and icy atmospheric keyboards.  About halfway through the track shit slows down and we're treated to an eerie synthesized flute (I think) melody that really ramps up the atmosphere and reminds me a lot of the other Korean black metal bands I've been covering on here so far (Sad Legend and Oathean) in terms of that "Oriental/Asian" feeling that is such a defining characteristic of their sound.   There's even a gong at the end!!  Definitely the best song on the album!   Recommended as an excellent musical companion for a long walk through a frozen Korean forest at night in the dead of winter!

Mount Gariwang (가리왕산) and its surroundings would have been an excellent place to experience Kalpa's music, but unfortunately South Korea decided to destroy a bunch of acreage in order to make room for the 2018 Winter Olympics :(

More like GHOSTjoseon, amirite???

However, I feel there are a couple of things that really hurt the band.   For one, I don't know if we're supposed to believe that Black Candle is actually playing the drums or not, but it's pretty fucking obvious that they're programmed.   Unless they're done EXTREMELY well or it fits the aesthetic of the band, I usually can't stand programmed drums, especially when we're talking black metal from almost 15 years ago.   It almost always just makes the band sound even more cheesy and cheap than they already are :/  Also, I feel like it takes away from the emotion and organic feel of a real drummer, and instead replaces it with something mechanical and lifeless (a common complaint about programmed drums in general).   I understand that it might be difficult to find a drummer that's willing to join a black metal band in South Korea, but c'mon.   The shit on this record isn't that hard to play.   Get out of the basement and find a session drummer, as I'm pretty sure any competent drummer worth a shit would be able to play this stuff (especially with studio editing)!    

Black Candle, coming soon to a teen summer camp...near you!

I'm not going to pretend like I know what kind of an impact, if any, Kalpa had on the black metal scene here or if Black Candle is even still involved in the scene at all (I doubt it), and whatever happened to him seems to be kind of a mystery.   However, his legacy remains as the first in what could hopefully be a long line of trve kvlt Korean black metal hordes.

SNACKS

OK, so now that we've talked about what is widely considered to be Korea's first black metal band, it's time to get into some O.G. Korean snacks, some of which have been around for decades!

Saewookkang (새우깡)

In terms of what we could consider Korea's "modern snack" scene, it doesn't get much more old-school than this.   They've been around since the early 1970s!   It's a wheat-based snack that you'll see all the time as free finger food to munch on as you drink your beer or soju, although I've also used to feed to seagulls when I'm on a boat or near a harbor :D

I always thought these were just OK and kind of boring, so maybe I've been in Korea too long because I'm kind of digging the fuck out of these right now!   It's slightly puffy, but also still maintains that crunch which is so crucial.   As fir the taste, it has a subtle, lightly salted shrimp flavor.   On the back of the bag they also recommend eating these with ketchup, which I found to be really tasty as well!  I guess there's some controversy with with these particular snack as well, because they are EERILY similar to Kappa Ebisen (かっぱえびせん), a JAPANESE snack that made hit the shelves about seven years before Saewookkang in 1964.   Uh-oh!   We'll have to have a face-off at some point to see who is the true King of the Shrimp-Flavored Snacks That Resemble French Fries Scene (or KSFSTRFFS as its referred to on the street).   8 / 10

Saewookkang's spicy version

But wait!  You really think I'd talk about the regular version without mentioning that there's a SPICY version as well?!   This is a fucking metal blog!!   I don't know about you guys, but I pride myself on being able to not only handle my alcohol, but also my spicy food as well.    That's why I decided to get crazy and try the version with a little extra heat to see how it compares, and, of course, which one is better.    Honestly, I'm going to have to go with the spicy version.   It's not like it's super spicy or anything, but it does pack enough of a mild kick to be acceptable (unless you're dead set on something more intense).   8 / 10

Below is a cute commercial for the snack.   You may be thinking, "Wulf, what are you doing dude?   This shit is the least metal thing of all time."   Maybe you're right, but if you play/listen to this commercial 100 times in a row you will achieve a specific kind of madness unattainable through even the most ludicrously torturous black metal that has been created thus far.



BONUS 1991 COMMERCIAL (same song too!):

Postick (포스틱)

Making its grocery/convenience store debut in the late 1980s, Postick is basically a French fry snack for people who don't have the time or patience to hit up a fast food joint for the real thing.    It kind of tastes like a cross between a French fry, Funyuns, and the Saewookkang snack (see above), and is actually quite tasty!   Addicting too.   At first I thought they were just OK because they don't taste exactly like French fries, but actually the more I eat the more I like them.   Maybe it's because I'm also looking at the cute potato cartoon dude on the front of the bag and imagining him baking the snacks just for me.   That expression on his face really gets me too, like he's hoping so much that you like what he's made.   Yeah, yeah, I know, that's the whole point of having a cutesy cartoon character as the mascot for your snack in the first place, but I think they really did a great job because it worked on me!   I guess he's also kind of metal too since he's a cannibal (being a potato himself and then baking and eating potato snacks).



To get more specific about how this snack looks and tastes, they are quite puffy (something I usually don't like) but they maintain a significant crunch as well, which I think makes up for it.   You also get a shitload of these in one bag, I was pretty surprised!   It's definitely more than enough for one person to handle on their own.  Also, the back of the bag recommends eating these with ketchup, just like the Saewookkang snacks.   I didn't think this would work out too well because it just seemed like an extremely lazy/shitty substitute of eating real French fries with ketchup, but oddly enough I found this to be false!   Especially the aftertaste, which really does make it seem like you just ate some fries and ketchup.   Great work Mr. Potato Chef Dude!!   8.5 / 10 (with ketchup)

Kanchyo (칸쵸)

This stuff is tasty as fuck.   It's very simple, consisting of a biscuit shell with chocolate spread or something in the middle.   Not too complicated or weird, just a solid, sweet snack, and very addicting.   It's also really cute and has cartoon characters and designs printed on each piece.   Gumiho says that it used to be two cute biscuit people (a boy and a girl) that were on the front of the box, but I'm pretty sure the design right now is actually meant to be either identical or at least resemble its original 80s "retro" design to coincide with Reply 1988 (응답하라 1988), a super-popular Korean drama right now that's set in the 1980s (I've noticed that a bunch of other snacks are doing this as well).   Solid snack if you're kind of hungry, want something sweet, but don't want to go overboard.   8.5 / 10

Below is what is probably Kanchyo's first commercial.   The Disney characters that briefly make an appearance seems pretty random, and I wonder if Lotte (the makers of Kanchyo) ever actually bothered to pay Disney to use them:



A more modern Kanchyo commercial below, and, like most things in Korea now, is excruciatingly cute.   I don't mean to make light of the subject at all, but I've always found it so bizarre (and, of course, sad) that both Korea and Japan are the undisputed kings of putting out a never-ending stream of ludicrously cute stuff, but maintain some of the highest rates of suicide (and therefore, I'm assuming, depression), especially Korea.   But that's a subject for another day!



Also, similar to Saewookkang, it's a strong possibility that Kanchyo is a clone of Hello Panda, an extremely similar Japanese snack that was created in the late 1970s.   Sorry Korea, I don't mean to steal your thunder!   However, you gotta give credit where it's due!

Ojingeo Ddangkong (오징어 땅콩)

Weird-ass name (translates to "squid peanuts"), but fucking delicious!    Salty, crunchy, squid-flavored shell with a sweet peanut inside.   Killer 1-2 punch!   I think it's supposed to resemble takoyaki, the popular Japanese street food snack.   Like the others on this list, this is pretty addicting.   Also, it's interesting too because when you eat it as a whole and the squid-shell taste combines with the peanut, it creates a new, unique flavor, which is pretty cool.   Highly recommended with beer (except Korean beer...but that's a topic for another post).
8.5 / 10

Ddangkong Gangjeong (땅콩강정)

Similar to the peanut squid balls (ha) above, we have this stuff, which roughly translates to "peanut snack" in English, except gangjeong (강정) in this case is kind of like a traditional snack cake...just click on the link, Wikipedia will do a better job of explaining it.   Anyway, also like the peanut squid balls, these are surprisingly pretty fucking delicious!   Instead of a squid flavored biscuit-y shell this time, we get crispy rice balls!   It's quite crunchy too, as well as being fairly sweet with what I'm assuming is a mild presence of honey.   Can't go wrong with this snack.   8.5 / 10

Caramel Corn Maple (카라멜콘 메이플)

Saved the best for last.   I thought these were going to suck, as I'm not crazy about caramel, maple syrup-flavored shit, "puffy" snacks, or sweet stuff in general.   Also, the front of the bag has a cartoon corn-on-the-cob mascot who's wearing what I'm assuming is a Canadian Mountie hat and a jug of maple of syrup, and apparently they use real Canadian maple syrup too, according to the info on the back of the bag.   So yeah, this shit is obviously going to be way too sweet and gross, right??   Hoooooly shit was I wrong!   This is one of the best snacks I've ever had!   It's pretty intense (although it doesn't go overboard with the syrup like I was expecting it to), so I don't know if I'm going to eat it all the time, but if you're in the mood for a snack that's similar to pancakes with maple syrup, then this is your best bet!   It tastes just like a crunchy pancake!   I couldn't believe it!   Killer stuff.   9 / 10  

Obviously, this isn't an exhaustive list.  And yeah, I know, it's boring that I gave all the snacks an 8.5, but I'm being completely fucking honest!   These snacks obviously kick the shit out of the Korean Doritos and Cheetos (see previous entries in the series).   There are tons of other tr00 Korean "modern" snacks (as opposed to traditional Korean snacks, which do exist, and we'll get to later!) that we could have covered, but we'll just have to save for another time.   Are you hungry yet?   Wherever you are in the world, I hope you manage to find the time to sit down, rip open a bag of your favorite snacks, put on your favorite killer black metal tunes, and just have a fucking time!!

At the Movies with Wulf!!

In addition to Korean black metal and Korean snacks, I'm going to start covering Korean cinema as well, particularly horror and action as well!  

BEDEVILLED (김복남 살인사건의 전말)

As you can tell by the poster, Bedevilled
is the feel-good comedy of the summer
that you've been waiting for!!

Korean films tend to be pretty intense, and I've noticed that the thriller/horror movies here seem to often feature themes of rape, physical/sexual abuse, pedophilia, domestic violence, sadism, suicide, extremely abnormal psychology, and other supremely depressing topics.   I don't feel like this is the place to really explore WHY this seems to be so prevalent in Korean films, or if it is even is a thing and not just a result of the small sample of the films that I've seen, but more often than not, at least in my experience, you're probably not going to be in a happy mood by the time the credits roll.   

Why am I talking about this?   Because Bedevilled (김복남 살인사건의 전말, or, literally "The Whole Story of the Kim Bok-nam Murder Case") (2010) has got ALL of this stuff!   This movie is pretty fucked up and not for the faint of heart, although I wouldn't say it's quite on the same level of absurdity as like Human Centipede or Audition, as its a bit more grounded in reality and conceivable that it could have been based on a true story.   At first I found the movie to be kind of nihilistic and just a tale of revenge and brutal violence, but now I realize that it's really about standing up to oppression and injustice, as well as the importance of defending those who are unable to defend themselves.  There's also some social commentary in this as well in terms of the young violently rebelling (due to decades of abuse) against Korea's traditional, patriarchal, rigidly hierarchical society, which definitely adds a much-needed, deeper, more meaningful dimension to the film.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that this is a MUST-SEE, but it's still quite good.   Also, the performances of all the actors are great, especially from Seo Young-hee (as Kim Bok-nam).   I don't want to spoil anything, but she does an amazing job transforming from sweet and happy-go-lucky to completely batshit insane.  The trailer (below) unfortunately doesn't do the movie justice, as there's a lot more going on in the movie than just some woman going crazy and killing everyone.

WULF'S (& FRIENDS'!!) MAYHEMIC TOP 10 METAL ALBUMS OF 2015 BLITZKRIEG OF BRUTALITY

This is eventually what I turn into when
my students won't shut the fuck up in class.

This year, I'm going to be doing something a bit different.   Of course, I'll be including my own top 10 (which, I think we can all admit, is going to be much better than everyone else's you'll find on this blog or any other place on the internet (ESPECIALLY Judge Dredd's wack-ass list, but everyone already knew that :p), but this time around I'm going to take advantage of my current situation as a temporary denizen of the Far East to find out what people around here, expats and/or Koreans, are digging as well!   So, prepare yourself for not just my dumb list, BUT a slew of other lists of well from the Korean underground metal community!   In my opinion, you can never have too many Top 10 lists because ever since we all got high-speed internet and access to virtually any music that's ever been recorded EVER, you'll find a seemingly infinite amount of variety, and, more importantly, inevitably at least one hidden gem every time you browse.

It's funny, I was actually talking to my buddy WinterTriangles about submitting his own Top 10 list for the MI blog when he told me that he actually found the whole Top 10 albums-of-the-year lists frustrating because he felt like they just end up being completely different in a couple of years after you inevitably discover all the other shit later on that you missed when it came out.   However, while I do feel like this is a valid point, I'd like to argue that instead, these Top 10 lists should be like a snapshot of what your favorite jams of the year were at the time you made the list, instead of being considered like THE definitive guide to THE BEST METAL ALBUMS OF "YEAR X".   So, let the party begin!

WULF'S MAYHEMIC TOP 10 METAL ALBUMS OF 2015 BLITZKRIEG OF BRUTALITY

10.   Ghost - Meliora
I don't care if this sounds like music from the '70s Scooby Doo cartoon, the whole thing is a gimmick, etc.   These are great songs, even if they are barely metal (definitely more on the hard rock side of the spectrum).   A lot of people felt like maybe this band was on the decline after the mixed reception that was seen with the release of their sophomore record, Infestissumam (2013), but I think the general consensus with Meliora is that Ghost are back with a vengeance, proving to everyone that they're here to stay and still have the skills and songwriting ability to pull off a great album.  Of course, it's not as good as their debut, Opus Eponymous (2010), and they probably won't ever put out anything that will be as good, but I still enjoyed the hell out of this album!
RIYL: Blue Öyster Cult, The Devil's Blood, Blood Ceremony, Mercyful Fate, Deep Purple
Recommended track: "From the Pinnacle to the Pit"

9.   Myrkur - M
At this point, I'm so fucking sick of the whole controversy surrounding Myrkur that I'm not even going to talk about it because it's just been done to death and I don't really have anything to add.   However, I WILL say that I found the music on this record to be fantastic, even if it did, at times, get a bit "New Age-y / Enya" for my tastes.   Also, the drums are too quiet and sound too digital or over-produced...I'm not exactly sure what the right term is, but this kind of album needs the drums to be louder and more raw!   That way everyone knows that you're not fucking around!
   Anyway, not to take anything away from Ms. Bruun's own composition skills, but I do also feel like M benefited immensely by enlisting Garm as producer and adding a real drummer (the drums on her 2014 self-titled EP are programmed) and a bunch of other session musicians to add to the dark, neo-folk-ish atmospheric ambiance (horns, violins, fiddles, etc.).   While the ambient pieces by themselves are quite pretty, the real gems on this album are when Myrkur goes for the jugular with the black metal.   She retains her own sound and style, but definitely takes some influence from Darkthrone, Ulver (old and new!), and maybe even like Amorphis or Otyg (lol).   Fuck the haterz!  This album won't score you any points with basement black metal dorks, but it is definitely a badass, refreshing new take on the genre and a welcome addition to the whole "post-black metal" scene that's all the rage right now.   Don't let the naysayers get you down, Amalie!   M  is a beautiful album!   Gorgeous album art too.
RIYL:  Ulver, Alcest, Wolves in the Throne Room, God Seed
Recommended track: "Hævnen"
You can listen to the entire album for free here.

8.   厄鬼 (Aek Gwi) - 靈樹林 (Forest of Ghost)
It's entirely possible that Vhan (the dude behind Aek Gwi, one of his many pseudonyms) created this album entirely in one sitting when he was drunk one night in his basement.   I don't care!   It's fucking brilliant!   I'm actually in the process of writing an entire post about Aek Gwi (including an interview with Vhan himself!), so I'm going to keep this description short.   All I'm going to say is that it kind of reminds me of a mix between like Nortt and some "Oriental" ambient/ritualistic bedroom black metal, so you know what that means!   Turn off the lights, put on your headphones, and let this baby take you on a mysterious journey deep into the various layers of the Buddhist hells.
RIYL:  Beherit, Nortt, Xasthur, Sunn O))), Burzum
Recommended track: "靈樹林 (Forest of Ghost) - Part 1"
You can listen to the entire album for free here.

7.   Vastum - Hole Below
In the mood for absolutely crushing, evil-ass death metal?   These guys nail that "cavernous" sound perfectly, except for some reason when listening to this I imagine the band playing in some dilapidated abandoned factory instead of a cave.   Catchy riffs, plenty of groove, and otherworldly guttural vocals meant for summoning demonic entities from the Abyss.   Really hits the spot when you want some occult-tinged punishing brutality!
RIYL:   Morbid Angel, Cannibal Corpse, Immolation, Incantation, Dead Congregation
Recommended track: "Sodomistic Malevolence"
You can listen to the entire album for free here.

6.   Ghost Bath - Moonlover
Yeah, yeah, these guys are posers and tried to make us think they were a DSBM collective from China but really they're just an indie rock band and blah blah, but I don't give a fuck.   This stuff is great!  With gorgeous melodies that masterfully evoke the angst, sadness, and beautiful, haunting despair that we all expect when listening to this kind of "Graduation Day black metal", if that sounds like your thing then I highly recommend checking this out.   It's going to be interesting to see where the band decides to go from here.   Whether or not this is a "gimmick" (same goes with some of the other albums in my list) is beside the point- this is killer stuff.
RIYL:  Silencer, Alcest, Nachtmystium, Deafheaven, Woods of Desolation, Lifelover
Recommended track:  "Golden Number"
Read Wulf's interview with the band here.
Read CJ's review of the album here.

5.   A Forest of Stars - Beware of the Sword You Cannot See
The madness continues!!   There's a lot to love about this band- their weird backstory, the obsession with Victorian England, and the sheer insanity and experimentation that goes into their psychedelic black metal-based music.   I'm not going to waste time and debate genres here, because it's obvious that A Forest of Stars have their own thing going on here.   The music conjures up scenes of Theosophistic séances, perusing the wares of a semi-forgotten curio shoppe, hallucinatory visions in the midst of an opium overdose, or even at times the violence and sheer insanity akin to something you'd see in the Lovecraftian-esque horror/action/rpg Playstation 4 game Bloodborne (easily one of my favorite games of all time).   The second half also comprises of one "song" split into six parts (titled "Pawn on the Universal Chessboard")
RIYL:  Negură Bunget, Arcturus, Oranssi Pazuzu, Peste Noire, Nachtmystium
Recommended track: "Drawing Down the Rain"
You can listen to the entire album for free here.

4.   Archgoat - The Apocalyptic Triumphator 

The mighty Archgoat return with another blasphemic, evil, bestial collection of elite hymns dedicated to all things perverted and sacrilegious.   This is no-frills, no bullshit, straight to the point, punishing mayhem.   Badass album art too, you can always count on Thorncross to bring the grimness.
RIYL:  Blasphemy, Beherit, Black Witchery, Incantation, Inquisition
Recommended track: "Nuns, Cunts & Darkness"
You can listen to the entire album for free here.

3.   Obsequiae - Aria of Vernal Tombs
Underrated band AND album!   Is it because they're on a small label?   Is their name too hard to pronounce?   Maybe it's because they have a harpist in the band.   Either way, this album fucking rules.   Yeah, the cover art is kind of lame and the drums are too quiet, buried, and sound a bit too sterile (almost programmed), but those are characteristics easily ignored when you have those goddamn gorgeous lead guitars running the show!   The vocals are also great as well, mixed just right as they're slightly buried and echoing from the back of a Medieval castle's great hall or an ancient cathedral.   When you think "medieval metal", your mind immediately goes to cheesy power metal like Hammerfall or Rhapsody, with synth horns, nonstop double bass, etc.   Not so with Obsequiae!   I'm not exactly sure how they do it, but by combining the atmosphere and aesthetics of black metal with the production (kind of) and melody of The Jester Race-era In Flames.   Thematically I feel like there's a lot going on here too, but haven't had enough time to really explore that angle yet.   Definitely going to come back to this one in the future.   Brilliant stuff!
RIYL: (old) In Flames, Forefather, Peste Noire
Recommended track: "Autumnal Pyre"
You can listen to the entire album for free here

2.   Tribulation - The Children of the Night
This band took me awhile to get into for whatever reason, but once I started reading their interviews and realizing how much fun they are I started really digging their music.   So, without further ado, I'm going to jump on the Tribulation bandwagon now (I remember Judge Dredd has been telling me to check them out for a couple of years now!) and join in the chorus of praise that's being heaped on these guys right now.   It's a melodramatic, adventurous, kick-ass journey that blends black metal, death metal, and progressive rock into something that is catchy, mysterious, and theatrical.   I don't know exactly how serious they are about the occult lyrical themes, but it doesn't matter because this just straight-up bad-ass music.
RIYL:  Mercyful Fate, Dissection, Ghost, Watain, Witchcraft
Recommended track:  "Strange Gateways Beckon"

1.   Akhlys - The Dreaming I
At this point I'm going to argue that the US has the best black metal scene right now.   While Europe has seemingly had a monopoly on the genre since its inception, at some point in the last 10 years USBM went from a joke to putting out the most innovative and compelling material not just in black metal, but in all of heavy metal regardless of the subgenre.   If you would have asked me in the early 2000s, I'd probably have said Europe would still be the leader in the genre, but anyone who still seriously believes that clearly isn't keeping up with the times.
Just look at this new Akhlys record.   As a once dark ambient side project of Naas Alcameth (Nightbringer), what we have here is some top-notch, evil as fuck USBM from the majestic mountains of Colorado.   Some parts of this album I'd imagine are perfect for standing at the top of a craggy peak whilst performing a bizarre occultic ritual under an ominous starry evening sky.  Some of this is unrelentingly frantic in its intensity, and would be the perfect soundtrack to people being swallowed up by the earth and plunging headlong into Hell.
RIYL:  Lucifyre, Pestilential Shadows, Emperor, Nightbringer, Blut aus Nord
Recommended tracks: "Breath and Levitation"
You can listen to the entire album for free here.

Honorable mentions:
There was a lot of other great stuff that came out this year that didn't make it on my list that I'd still like to talk about, but I'm not sure if I have the time or patience to go through each one.   So, here's just a (lame) list of other stuff I really enjoyed this year:
Ancient Rites (Laguz), Drowning the Light (From the Abyss), Leviathan (Scar Sighted), Pyramids (A Northern Meadow), Drudkh (Борозна обірвалася (A Furrow Cut Short)), Liturgy (The Ark Work), Arcturus (Arcturian), Negură Bunget (Tău), Violet Cold (Desperate Dreams), Sarpanitum (Blessed Be My Brothers...), Deafheaven (New Bermuda), Árstíðir Lífsins (Aldafǫðr ok Munka Dróttinn), Vhöl (Deeper Than Sky), Kroda (GinnungaGap GinnungaGaldr GinnungaKaos), Abigail Williams (The Accuser), Ævangelist (Enthrall to the Void of Bliss), Panopticon (Autumn Eternal), Havukruunu (Havulinnaan), Enthauptung (Adirondack), Marduk (Frontschwein), Thorr-Axe (Gates of Winter), Doomentor (The Second Ceremony), Enslaved (In Times), Visigoth (The Revenant King), Crypt Sermon (Out of the Garden), Melechesh (Enki), Peste Noire (La Chaise-Dyable), Dead in the Manger (Cessation), Venom (From the Very Depths), Abstracter (Wound Empire), Carach Angren (This is No Fairytale), Abyss (Heretical Anatomy), Goat Semen (Ego Svm Satana), Shining (IX - Everyone, Everything, Everywhere, Ends), Dødheimsgard (A Umbra Omega), Forefather (Curse of the Cwelled), Blaze of Perdition (Near Death Revelations), Hypothermia (Svartkonst), Xibalba (Tierra y Libertad), House of Atreus (The Spear and the Ichor That Follows), Terra (Terra), Enforcer (From Beyond), Napalm Death (Apex Predator - Easy Meat), Night Demon (Curse of the Damned).

Dungeon Synth

Do you REALLY think I'd end my list of favorite albums without including some dungeon synth?   Yeah, I know it's not metal, but it's definitely in the metal "spirit", plus I guarantee you that most dungeon synth fans/artists are black metal fans as well!  Many of the dungeon synth artists themselves actually have their own black metal projects too.   It's not a coincidence that a lot of these dudes have corpsepaint in their promo pics and black metal-esque logos and album covers.   Anyway, I know you're dying to find out the best DS albums of this year, so let's get to it!

So far, Deivlforst Records has been killing it this year with some really great stuff.   I'm not going to name names, but some of the DS labels/groups out there don't really seem to discriminate when it comes to who they'll include in their roster, so their Bandcamp page has become bogged down with a bunch of crapola.   Like any music genre, the vast majority of the stuff is mediocre, and dungeon synth is no exception.   Luckily, though, there are labels and collectives that you can almost always count on to only put out high-quality material, and Deivlforst so far has proven to be one of them!

Murgrind - Inheritor of the Forest
Throne

First up is what is probably my favorite DS album of the year, Murgrind's Inheritor of the Forest Throne (either that or Grimrik's Die Mauern der Nacht, see below).  It's arguably just as good as his last album, Journey Through the Mountain (2013), but I feel like this time around the production is slightly better.  Anyway, it continues the epic story that began with the previous album, and retains the same ancient beauty and old-world atmosphere as well.   Definitely going to write more about this album in a future post, because it's absolutely killer and really sets the bar for what truly excellent dungeon synth sound like.

Grimrik - Die Mauern der Nacht

Grimrik is another amazing Deivlforst artist, although musically it is quite different from Murgrind or really any other DS artist for that matter.   I don't know if you can consider this even DS at this point.   Instead of being transported to a mystical fantasy world, Grimrik's music sends you into the cosmos.      Anyway, it took me awhile to get into his last album, Eisreich (2013), but I took to Die Mauern der Nacht immediately.   This is the soundtrack to the exploration of hulking, derelict spaceships, to arcane alien technology, and to collapsing, ancient galactic civilizations.   Same as Murgrind's Die Mauern der Nacht (see above), I planning on writing more about this album in a future post.   Anyway, this album fucking rules, and while I can't honestly say it's 100% dungeon synth, it's thus far my favorite release of the year within the "DS scene", whatever that means.

Sviatibor - Discovery of a
Blazing Emptiness

Last, I'd like to briefly discuss Sviatibor's Deivlforst Records debut, Discovery of a Blazing Emptiness.   I guess it's kind of in the same boat as Grimrik in that I don't know if this really counts as dungeon synth, but I suppose it could work!   Definitely cosmic-themed (according to his Bandcamp, this album is heavily inspired by the movie Interstellar (2014) and its OST), this album will have you floating amidst the vast comic sea in no time.   Can't wait to write more about this album later, it's pretty cool!   As a side note, it looks like he also puts out black metal under the Sviatibor moniker as well, so I'll have to remember to check that out as well.

Lord Lovidicus - The Book of
Lore - Vol. I

Moving away from Deivlforst Records, we can't end the discussion without talking about (arguably) the two major heavyweights of new-school dungeon synth, Lord Lovidicus and Erang.   Lord Lovidicus picked up sound-wise where he left off with with his last album, the amazing Wandervogel des Waldes (2014), except thematically he's incorporating a bit more "dungeon" in his dungeon synth this time around (going back to his roots or whatever) and taking heavy inspiration from J.R.R. Tolkien, with a concept centered around The Silmarillion.   I haven't read the Silmarillion, but I'm assuming that this music will be a pretty good soundtrack to go along with whatever's happening in the book as you read.   While I don't feel like Book of Lore - Vol. I was quite nearly as good as Wandervogel des Waldes, it's still a badass album and wayyyy better than 99% (seriously) of the other DS out there.

Erang, not to be outdone, dropped TWO different albums this year, with The Kingdom of Erang in March and Tome X in October.   Unlike Mr. Lovidicus, all of Erang's music seems to be based on a fantasy tabletop RPG (probably D&D) campaign (set in a world known as "The Land of the Five Seasons") he was involved with when he was younger, so it's kind of cool when you listen to his music because each song offers another glimpse into this mystical realm which had such a strong impact on him as a teenager and continues to haunt his imagination as an adult.

Erang - Kingdom of Erang

However, just like Lord Lovidicus' latest album, Erang's 2015 material wasn't quite as amazing as his earlier stuff, such as Another World, Another Time (2013) and In the Land of My Imagination, I am the Only God (2014).   Kingdom of Erang is quite experimental in terms of new-school dungeon synth, and is almost transcending the genre entirely and getting into proper video game soundtracks and new age ambient stuff.   It's still definitely Erang and retains that mysterious, medieval fantasy atmosphere, not bad, but I prefer his older stuff more.

Erang - Tome X

 His other release, Tome X, is all over the place just like Kingdom of Erang.   You've got beauty, intrigue, tiptoeing through the dungeons, whimsical madness, etc.  All in all, this is definitely one of his more diverse albums, but still does an amazing job of stimulating the imagination!   I'd say Tome X is the stronger album of the two, although I'm going to need more time to explore it to really get a feel for what's going on.   All you need to know for now is that it's another fine Erang release, although I would recommend it more as music for listening to as its presented rather than as tabletop fantasy RPG background music (same goes for Kingdom of Erang as well).

Foglord - Celestial

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention an artist who's been in the game for a few years now but whose music has improved dramatically- Foglord!   While he did put out a short demo earlier in May (The Old Wanderers Tale) containing a couple of unused tracks, I'm going to focus on his excellent full-length album, Celestial, released a few months later in August.   Celestial works on a bunch of different levels- you can listen to it as music to relax to, to fall asleep and dream to, and, of course, as background music for a tabletop RPG :)  It's quite dreamy, ethereal, and minimalist, so there's plenty of room for you to let your imagination wander.   Really beautiful stuff!

Are you interested in reading my other articles about DUNGEON SYNTH??   Of course you are!   You can read ALL of Wulf's posts about DS here.

FRIENDS' TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2015

JON CAMP (US Air Force)
I've only met Jon a handful of times, but he's a really nice dude who clearly knows his extreme metal, especially when it comes to brutal death metal!   Check out his list below, there's a ton of great stuff!!


10.   Chapel of Disease - The Mysterious Ways of Repetitive Art
Really awesome production and a morbid, cemetery-like vibe has kept my interest since I got this.   It's not the flashiest album of the year and is maybe a bit of a sleeper because of that.   Crank up the volume, as this sucker clocks in at an amazing DR11.

9.   Sarpanitum - Blessed be My Brothers
Really spaced out sounding progressive death metal.   If this didn't sound so much like Mithras it probably would have ranked higher, as it's very good.   The guitar melodies/solos and drumming are definitely the backbone of the album.   This is interesting music through and through.   And we're getting treated to the new Mithras in 2016.




8.   Kronos - Arisen New Era
Very catchy brutal death metal that makes me want to pump my fist and bang my head.   It's plenty technical, plenty brutal, and just plain good.



7.   Horrendous - Anareta
I'm a big Horrendous fan, but I was kind of let down by this the first couple weeks I had it.   I (finally) gave it a chance, and it has blown me away since.   These guys are incredibly talented, and they know how to make a song move.   I'm still digesting it, so it might become more of a favorite as time goes on.



6.   Scythian - Hubris in Excelsis
A blackened death/thrash scorcher!   Who needs genre tags anyway?   Great riffing, mind-blowing solos, twisted vocals with plenty of variety, and great songwriting.   A must buy for fans of extreme metal.


5.   Spectral Voice - Necrotic Doom
The best death/doom I've ever heard.   The album title says it all...this is doom and it's necrotic.   This might be the heaviest thing released this year, and I can't stop playing it.   Again, next year's full-length on Dark Descent is getting purchased as soon as it drops.


4.   Blood Incantation - Interstellar Extinction
After several listens, this bite-size morsel is hard to chew and has gotten stuck in my head.   When I tell people that I listen to technical death metal, this is what I mean!   Please get Rings of Saturn or whatever other off-the-shelf tripe out of your vocabulary and listen to technical DEATH METAL, not TECHNICAL death metal.   I'm eagerly awaiting the 2016 full-length announced by Dark Descent.


3.   Sulphur Aeon - Gateway to the Antisphere
Lovecraftian-themed death metal that is dark and epic.   I've listened to it enough times (too many to count) that I know the songs inside and out.   I can confidently say that these dudes didn't miss a beat writing this album.   Fantastic.



2.   Monolithe - Epsilon Aurigae 
The long wait is finally over.   Monolithe have ditched the slower portions that kind of helped them keep the funeral doom handle for a much (relatively) faster-moving sound, and they've succeeded in making some mighty fine music that doesn't fit any genre mold that I've come across.   The entire album is like the mid-section of III...very moving, engaging, dark metal with interwoven guitar melodies, unexpected shifts in mood, an epic sound, and overall stunning performances.   This could very well steal the number one spot (in my Top 10 list) from Ad Nauseam in the coming months, but with a December release it's hard to tell.   Overall, excellent!

1.   Ad Nauseam - Nihil Quam Vacuitas Ordinatum Est
Twisting, twisted progressive death metal with plenty of technical flair, fantastic songwriting (songs? overrated!), and an eerie backdrop.   The production job is one of the best I've heard all year, and I can't get enough of this bizarre masterpiece of mind-bending music.   To think that this is a debut...




DAN OROZCO (Asia Metalhead)

In addition to being a metal enthusiast and
all-around nice guy, Mr. Orozco is an MMA
fighter, is almost penta-lingual (English, Japanese,
Korean, Japanese Sign Language, and some
Spanish!), and runs the Asia Metalhead blog. 

Dan Orozco is arguably the leader of the expat metalheads in Seoul, and I'm happy to say that he's a good friend as well!   On top of that, he happens to be a great source of information for all things metal that are going on in East Asia (from India to Japan), so why not check out his list of favorite albums over on his site, Asia Metalhead?   It seems kind of silly/plagiarizing to just copy and paste Mr. Orozco's Top 10 on here, so I'm just going to link you to his blog so you can see for yourself!   While it's mostly non-Asian metal that ended up making his list, he does mention a couple notable albums by Asian metal bands that are worth checking out, such as new stuff by Gotsu Totsu Kotsu (Japan) and Ishtar (South Korea)!
Check it out here: http://asiametalhead.com/2015/12/my-top-10-of-2015/

BESTIAL DESECRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL (Nocturnal Damnation)

Does this dude look familiar?   Of course he does!  We just posted his interview a few days ago on here!   Because it took me forever to get the interview translated and published, while we were going over the layout and corrections to the post I realized that it was getting close to the end of the year, so I was lucky enough to get his picks for the best metal of 2015.    Check out the list below to see which records especially tortured his eardrums...



10.   Cruciamentum - Charnel Passages
Dark, brutally atmosphere psalm!!!   "Charnel Passages" is pure essence of death metal in U.K.!!

9.   Abominator - Evil Proclaimed
Aussie demonic hordes!!   Blasphemous, non-stop brutal assault.





8.   Embrace of Thorns - Darkness Impenetrable 
Greek extremists' 4th album!!   Heavy, solid, and barbarous death/black metal.



7.   Doombringer - The Grand Sabbath
Brooding, heavy, epic death/black metal with a doom metal touch!!   Impressive!!!

6.   Goat Semen - Ego Svm Satana
Debut full-length from Peruvian goat trips since 2000!!!   Evil madness sound!!!!

5.   Deiphago - Into the Eye of Satan 

Filipino Antichrist are back!!!   Primitive black/death of war!   Must get it or die motherfuckers!!!

4.   Black Witchery / Revenge - Holocaustic Death March to Humanity's Doom 
Two barbarians unite!   Total chaotic and brutal split.

3.   Revenge - Behold.Total.Rejection
Canadian Antichrist elitists rise!!   New chaotic/bestial attack!!!   Recommend.

2.   Archgoat - The Apocalyptic Triumphator
One of the best albums of 2015 without any doubts!!   Obscure black/death metal.




1.   Blasphemy - Fallen Angel of Doom (2015 re-issue)
In short, a classic war/death metal album!!   There's no need to explain any more!!!

MOON SANG-HO (문상호) (厄鬼 - Aekgwi, Misanthropic Art Productions, Misanthropic Artworks)

This dude's artwork fucking rules.   Yeah, it's kind of a rip-off of Thorncross, and yeah, his logos are kind of look like every other metal logo out there (especially those by Christophe Szpajdel) but I don't give a fuck!  This kid has immense talent!   Not only that, but I really dig his music too (see #8 on my own top 10 list above!).   Judging by his art, I'm pretty sure he listens to nothing but kvlt-as-fvck bestial black metal 99% of the time, and my suspicions were confirmed as you can see below...


10.   Selbst - An Ominous Landscape
A rising newcomer BM band from Venezuela.

9.   Herxsebet - Dí Ad Vermes
I have no doubt in Herxsebet.   True Mexican cult BM.







8.   Sad / Sarkistra - Fury of the Doomsday Apostles
Both elite bands' splits are amazing.



7.   Pimeydentuoja - The Devil's Epoch
Archgoat, Beherit, Teitanblood worship sound.   Blasphemous black death metal


6.   Initiation - A Ritual of Blood, a Pact of Ashes
Rising newcomer raw BM band from USA,   Highly-infused Drowning the Light, Mutiilation, Judas Iscariot, Sargeist, I think.



5.   Belkètre - Ryan Èvn-a
Long-awaited legendary French BM.   There was no disappointment.


4.   Osculum Infame - Axis of Blood

French elite BM horde.   Killer album, for sure.




3.   Drowning the Light - From the Abyss
DTL often releases albums, and most of the albums are great.   But this album is even more amazing.

2.   Vlad Tepes - The Drakksteim Sessions
Reissue of rare music.   The value is sufficient by itself.



1.   Mgła - Exercises in Futility
I have no doubt in this Polish band.   They are always right.







Mark Bruno (It Djents webzine)

Believe it or not, It Djents is so huge in South Korea that Mr. Bruno
really can't go anywhere without hordes of fans (mostly female,
of course) crowding around him and begging for a photo.   You can't
go anywhere with this guy!!

Same as Dan Orozco (Asia Metalhead), Mr. Bruno is a strong force (or at least a loud voice :D) in the crowd of local expat metalheads, and he also happens to be one of my best friends here in Korea as well!   Because he's a writer for It Djents, it's obvious that we don't always see eye to eye when it comes to metal (or pretty much anything else, for that matter!), but don't let that stop you from checking out his list over at It Djents!   Who knows, you may find an album or two that's halfway decent among whatever drivel he's thrown up there ;)
Check it out here: http://www.itdjents.com/from-the-staff/top-10-albums-of-the-year-its-bruno/

Norse Rage (ex-Groove Magazine contributor)

I have no idea what the fuck is going on in this picture, but
I think it's cool that his cat has a denim vest!!

Mr. Rage felt entitled to give us 11 instead of 10, as everyone who's seen This is Spinal Tap (1984) knows that 11 is ONE more than 10, and thus superior.   Also, he's a pretty big dude and could easily crush our heads like grapes and stuff our bodies into the nearest trash can.   Seriously though, Ian (what his parents call him whenever he manages to make it back home to good ol' North Carolina) is a super-cool dude and extremely knowledgeable about the Korean metal scene, as well as all things DOOM.


11.   Uncle Acid - The Night Creeper 
Yep.   Fuzzed out hymns to everything bad in the late 60’s.   Makes me wanna stab someone for a fucking bong rip.   Ugh.

10.   Thulcandra - Ascension Lost 
This is fucking Black Metal.   Although these guys are German, this sounds like straight mid-90’s era Dissection, but a bit more low end in the production.   Frosty, melodic, wind-swept, hate-filled.   Jon Andreas Nödtveidt and the MLO would be proud.



9.   Cattle Decapitation - The Anthropocene Extinction 
Deathgrind, on my list?!?!   You know these guys have come a long way.   I saw them in like 2000 with GWAR and they were just generic death metal but good.   This new shit is tight, super technical but not contrived.   Also his other “manic” vocals are one of a kind.   They show up at like 2:24 and at 4:00 in this track.

8.   Paradise Lost - The Plague Within
Holy shit this is heavy.   Never got into to hardly any of the “Peaceville 3” but these guys have dropped the bomb on what is cutting edge death/doom.   Not all gritty, there’s some soaring parts ala Type O here and there.   And a lot of Crowbar.

7.   Forgotten Tomb - Hurt Yourselves and the Ones you Love Italian...strangely!   Not much Italian stuff in my collection!   Hahaha (Sorry Emmanuele).....more black and roll than straight black metal.   Dirty, grimy, groovy, misanthropic.



6.   Ghost - Meloria 
Back from their sophomore slump, keeping the polished production but way more of those slick hooks we had on the debut.   Tight, catchy as hell 70’s occult metal.



5.   Shape of Despair - Monotony Fields 
Crushing glacial funeral doom.   Hahaha wow.   SO much atmosphere. Not for the casual doom fan that’s for sure.

4.   Nightfell - The Living Ever Mourn
This is ALSO FUCKING BLACK METAL!!!   Hahaha and doom/crust.   Some crust punks like Todd Burdette from Tragedy. Love the live feel of the drums.   Pummeling and jacked up without delving into noise ever.

3.   Arcturus - Arcturian 
Our favorite black metal space jesters return, with more artistry and not giving a fuck about being TROO than any other asshole in Norway.   I mean, if it's got ICS Vortex on clean vocals, how can it not kick total unrepentant ass? So glad to hear these fuckers again.



2.   Karyn Crisis' Gospel of the Witches - Salem's Wounds
How do you even describe this?   A blend of all heavy elements, but mostly moody, slow mournful, amazing clean female vocals and a hardcore punk angst at times. Low end by members of Immolation.   TOTALLY ORIGINAL, freshest release this year.

1.   Khemmis - Absolution
WOW. WOW. Yeah some doom, but mostly just heavy metal.   How often do you simply get to describe something as heavy metal these days?   Pentagram core, Pallbearer vocals, Thin Lizzy/Iron Maiden harmonies/leads. Hardcore group shoutouts.   This takes me back to 12 year-old Ian hearing Sabbath’s Paranoid the first time.   It does everything I want in heavy music.




Matt Ross (Fake the Future, Atlantic A.M.)

(taken from his Facebook page, reprinted here with permission)

Matt Ross is the fuckin' man.   Not only is the frontman for two rock bands (Fake the Future and Atlantic A.M.) here in Daejeon, South Korea, but he's also the GM for the new Vampire: the Requiem campaign I just joined.   Obviously, it kind of goes without saying that he's into metal as well.   Check out his list below to see what, in his opinion, were the top records this year to jam while knocking back a pint or two of blood...

10.   Wrong - Stop Giving
Given that Helmet’s recent records have left a lot to be desired, somebody had to go back and resuscitate what made their first few records so great. No, it’s not original, but damned if I didn’t listen to this EP so many times this year. Crushing tone, tight arrangements.

9.   Demon Lung - A Dracula 
A band to watch. They are heavy as hell, are tasteful with the atmospherics, and have a great vocalist. Anybody who makes a concept album based on the 70’s Mexican horror film Alucarda is cool in my book.



8.   With the Dead - With the Dead
Doom record of the year from some serious veterans coming together for a new project. Morbid and absolutely devastating in its heaviness, the way true doom must be.

7.   False - Untitled
Maybe the best USBM today for my money. Ambitious and progressive without overstaying their welcome. Somehow both tasteful and daring…a neat trick. 

6.   Deafheaven - New Bermuda 
Call me a hipster if you want but I had very little expectations for this record and I think I like it more than Sunbather by more than a little bit. I think this is the sound of a band with something to prove, namely that they aren't a flash in the pan, and I think New Bermuda makes a strong case that they've got good things ahead of them. Argue about their haircuts and Morrissey shirts all you want but there’s real weight here.

5.   Ghost - Meliora 
All hail the ABBA of heavy metal.

4.   Mutoid Man - Bleeder
These showoffs manage to keep me engaged throughout with their lightning fast riffs, off kilter rhythms, and alternately super poppy and melodic moments with their full on rages. A must for any Converge or Cave-In fan, obviously.

3.   Baroness - Purple 
Holy hell. I said I’d wait to post this list ‘til the new Baroness came out and boy was I shocked at its excellence, particularly after how much I disliked Yellow & Green, their last effort. Often gorgeous in the way the very best 70’s prog rock was capable of (when it was concerned with feel and emotion rather than just virtuosity), it is a record that is full of little twists and turns that are nonetheless satisfying and still sound like Baroness. When they go heavy, they go full battering ram to the midsection.



2.   Clutch - Psychic Warfare
All I had to do was hear X-Ray Visions once and it was all over for me.  I was in love. Even though I am so late to the Clutch party it’s sad it is clear to me that they are great geniuses and should be a much bigger act than they seem to be. This record was so good I bought a bunch of their old ones immediately and was likewise not disappointed. The riffs are so rockin’ and the lyrics are funny and strange and great. A clear dedication to great songcraft and the true weirdness of rock ‘n roll.

1.   Tribulation - Children of the Night
Hi, I’m Matt Ross, I’m 15 years old, I love Vampire: The Masquerade, I've been Dracula for Halloween about 8 times, and my favorite metal record of the year is Tribulation’s Children of the Night. Visual aesthetics aside, this record actually feels classically vampiric to me: seductive, threatening, and ominous. It’s also very fun and clearly doesn't take itself that seriously. Children of the Night is heavy on an atmosphere and is catchy as hell. We may have hit peak 70’s classic rock influence in metal here in 2015 but looking over my previous years’ lists, I can’t pretend I’m not a fan of this subgenre. It can be done well, and I think Tribulation has set a high bar with it.

Michael O'Dwyer (Seoul Film Club)
For whatever reason, Mr. O'Dwyer wasn't kvlt enough to give us a top 10, so we're sadly left with an awkward top 9.   However, he is, of course, still a die-hard metalhead and a total sweetie, so of course we were honored to have the privilege of sharing his list!   He even has some Korean metal in there as well!   Someone should probably tell him that the deal with Ghost not ACTUALLY changing singers and that it's just kind of a joke :p   Anyway, check out his picks below:

9.   Danzig - Skeletons   I'm going to admit that I really thought this album was going to be amazing. Just these insane maxed out rock/metal covers of Elvis Presley songs. I wasn't really impressed with the album and felt like he was trying too hard to sound like Elvis and it came across as an Elvis cover band than Danzig reinterpreting Elvis. The more I think about it, the more I'm disappointed with this album as the recording sounded sloppy and the songs just not inspired. I did like his version of "Satan" just for hearing Danzig work his "WHOOAAAA" into it.

8.  Method - Abstract 
Method is one of my favorite bands in and out of Korea. They've been on fire this past year and their new album is awesome! Just great fast, fun death thrash metal.

7.  Tribulation - Children of the Night
Melodic metal/Death Metal with downright catchy hooks! What the hell!?

6.   Marilyn Manson - The Pale Emperor
I know Marilyn Manson has taken to saying ridiculously stupid things in interviews in recent years. And he's put out a few stinkers of albums. But Pale Emperor is pretty goddamn good. Never gets as fast as a typical metal but he made a set of really intense, moody, dark songs that are great for listening at night when you can't sleep. Pale Emperor is probably his most mature, thoughtful album.

5.   Nekrogoblikon - Heavy Meta
NekroGoblin is great as they're an intense sludge/death metal band that can make fun intense songs and fun songs that have intelligent lyrics that tell a story. They deserve more recognition.

 4.   Chelsea Wolfe - The Abyss
This is another artist I was told about very recently. Very much ambient, experimental metal and I love it. It's all dark atmospheric. I love the cover art too, I'm trying to do some photography in the near future inspired by the album's cover art.)

3.   Windhand - Grief’s Infernal Flower 
I literally found out about this band and this album a few weeks ago and fell in love. It's just the sound and ambient metal I needed to hear this winter.

2.   Ghost - Meliora
I love this band. I love everything about it. I love that they concept albums, that they change the singers, and that's it's so theatrical. I love the love songs to Lucifer and just can't say enough great things about Ghost and the all the related projects the musicians from this band are in.

1.   Motörhead - Bad Magic
I kinda took Lemmy's death hard when I heard about it. My first metal concert I ever saw when I was 14 was Motörhead and Morbid Angel opening for Black Sabbath. Both those bands blew the hell out of Black Sabbath (they were in that phase between Ozzy and Dio, I don't know the name of the singer and was unimpressed after seeing Motörhead just annihilate the venue.

CONCLUSION

Well, that about wraps it up!   What did you think?   Too many lists?   Are you depressed because you missed out on so much great music, even though you probably spent the entire year thinking that THIS time around you were going to stay up to date??   Fill us in on your inner turmoil in the comments section!   Oh, and Kate MulDOOM, if you're reading this, I hope you have a great fucking night!!!! :p

Judge Dredd (left) and Wulf (right) - "Happier Times"