Wulf's Official Response to Decibel Magazine's Top 100 Black Metal Albums (part 4)

70. "Scorn Defeat" - Sigh

I think it's pretty cool when bands start out super kvlt and then get all weird on everyone.  In a similar vein as Arcturus, Ulver, and Enslaved, Sigh's roots lie in evil black metal grimness.  I can't talk too much about it because I'm not very evil and have only listened to Sigh's later shit (starting with the classic "Hail Horror Hail"), but I'll bet it's still good stuff.  Just look at that promo pic!!

69. "Ravendusk in my Heart" - Diabolical Masquerade

I remember thinking this album was pretty good, but am completely baffled why anyone who is a fan of this band would choose ANY of their albums over "Death's Design", one of my favorite metal albums of all time!! Anyway, that doesn't mean this album sucks or anything like that, it's got its share of catchy riffs and good production (even though I hate drum programming that sounds obviously fake), but if you're going to check out this band I'd definitely recommend "Death's Design" over any of their other albums! The songwriting, production, concept, and overall quality in general is way better!  C'mon, Decibel!!

68. "Incipit Satan" - Gorgoroth

I'm actually in the middle of listening to Gorgoroth's discography right now, but unfortunately I haven't made it to "Incipit Satan" (surprise, surprise :/ ).  I guess is the first album with Gaahl officialy on lead vocals, and pretty much set the standard for what most people think of when someone mentions the band...even though it feels weird to call it the "classic" lineup.  Anyway, I'm not an expert so whatever!  I'm sure this is a cool album, as Gaahl's vocals are unique and this was back when Gorgoroth was still considered pretty controversial and evil.  This was before all the drama between Infernus and Gaahl and King ov Hell, the formation of two Gorgoroths, King ov Hell putting out the kind of shitty Ov Hell album, and Gaahl coming out of the closet, doing musicals, and becoming a goofy internet meme.  I'm excited to see what this one has to offer!!

67. "Casus Luciferi" - Watain

I've got this one on my iPod, but as usual I haven't listened to it yet and am only familiar with Watain's later stuff.  Ugh, maybe doing this response to Decibel's Top 100 BM Albums was a mistake!!  The only reason I started it was because Judge Dredd and Mark of the Beast were making fun of me for not participating very much in its discussion on our Facebook group chat, so I decided to show them what was up and make an entire blog series about it.  Now it's turning out almost as bad as the infamous Watain interview I did several years ago!
Speaking of Watain, this album is a kvlt classic and blah blah I'm sure it's evil as fuck, especially compared to this latest Watain album which has Erik Danielsson doing clean vocals (haha).

66. "Dark Metal" - Bethlehem

Back when I was a DJ at Malicious Intent that we had this album in the stacks, and unfortunately when I listened to it I wasn't that impressed. It's possible that I was intoxicated at the time or something like that and wasn't really paying attention, but I'll bet the real reason I was disappointed was because I was expecting it to sound like their following album, "Dictius te Necare". Hooooooooly SHIT is that a nuts album!! Obviously the most striking thing about it is Rainer Landfermann's completely batshit insane vocals, but there's all sorts of other interesting stuff going on at the same time as well. Anyway, this is supposed to be my take on "Dark Metal", so I guess I'll just have to risk sounding like a broken record and just say that I'll come back to this one soon.

65. "Telepathic With the Deceased" - Xasthur

Yeah!!  I know this one!!  What a creepy album!!  If you've ever watched Vice's/Noisey's black metal documentary "One Man Metal", you know that Malefic is a creepy dude.  Wrest comes off as just a super emo dude with a lot of anger, and Sin Nanna as a kind of weird, tripped out Aussie hippie, but Malefic seems like the most disturbed out of the bunch.  Even though his music is arguably the cheesiest and at times would work well as the soundtrack to a haunted house carnival ride or your local Halloween superstore, it definitely works well by itself as something to listen to in complete darkness as you contemplate the infinity of death or whatever.  Haunting keyboards, hypnotic riffs, this is a DSBM classic!!

Malefic is always a laugh riot at parties!!

64. "Blood Ritual" - Samael

I've always wanted to listen to Samael's black metal stuff just because I've always heard it was good and it's so different from what they put out now.  I don't really know much about their "current sound" other than what I gathered from their 2004 "Telepath" music video which was featured on some Nuclear Blast compilation DVD, but I do know that it was definitely not black metal!  Excited to give this a spin soon!!

63. ""The Book" - Root

I don't what to really say about this album because I've never listened to Root, other than I think they have a super lame name and I've never heard any good black metal from the Czech Republic.  That doesn't mean this isn't a bad album or that there aren't any good bands from there!!  In fact, it's because of this situation that makes me excited to check this band out!!  

Also, fun fact: "root" is Australian slang for "sex"!!

62. "Diadem of 12 Stars" - Wolves in the Throne Room

I've been a fan of Wolves in the Throne room ever since I checked them out after reading an interview with them in Metal Maniacs in like 2006.   What they were talking about at the time was like a breath of fresh Cascadian air for a stagnating black metal scene, ushering in a renaissance of great black metal art that transformed USBM from being the laughingstock of the underground into a powerhouse of subgenre.   By straying away from Satanism (which once upon a time were inexorably linked to the general philosophy of the genre as a whole) and instead injecting mysticism, environmentalism, and psychedelia, WIITR were one of the pioneers of this new school of USBM along with bands such as Nachtmystium, Leviathan, Agalloch, Xasthur, Ludicra, Krallice, Velvet Cacoon, etc.

Anyway, this is a cool album, but I feel like it's on their next album ("Two Hunters") when the band really starts to get good.  This is a great place to start though if you want to get into the band!  One of the greatest USBM bands of all time!!

61. "Black Arts Lead to Everlasting Sins" - Necromantia / Varathron

I haven't heard this split, but can am 99% sure that it's not better than "Diadem of 12 Stars" by Wolves in the Throne Room.  I guess I shouldn't hate, considering that I've never listened to Varathron, but I've always kind of been put off by Necromantia.  I know I need to listen to their classic stuff to really get an idea of their importance in the early Greek BM scene, but "The Sound of Lucifer Storming Heaven" sucked, and I also think it's goofy that for the longest time their sound has consisted of an 8-string bass, a regular bass, keyboards, drums, and no guitars (!).  I guess it would be cool if they sounded good, but from what I listened to I thought it sounded pretty whack.  Ah well!  I'm sure I'll get around to listening to this soon.

Top 10 Metal Albums of 2013 Preamble

The Malicious Intent crew in the middle of a typical debate.  Mark of the Beast is usually the first one to burst into tears and run from room, calling us all "assholes" and slamming the door on his way out. 

One of the most annoying things I find about myself is that I can get fairly obsessive about "completeness". I'm not even entirely sure how to explain it...but I do know that a lot of times it results in me not being able to keep up with shit or constantly failing to meet deadlines. For example, if you haven't noticed, almost every metal magazine and blog has published or posted their own "Best of the Year" lists. For me, I can't release mine until January 1st of the next year because there's something in my brain that has convinced me that it's entirely possible there will be an album released on December 31st of this year that will obliterate the fuck out all the other albums that made everyone else's lists. You might think this is a little ridiculous, but just look at Nokturnal Mortum's "The Voice of Steel" (2009). Yeah yeah, they're a controversial group because their extremist right wing ideologies and political affilations and probably wouldn't have made a lot of critics' lists anyway because of it, but STILL!! It's an absolutely killer album and easily one of the best metal albums of 2009, which happened to be released on December 26. If I would have made my Top 10 list early and missed it I would have had to either edit the list, which is annoying and kind of pointless after everyone's already read it, OR I'd have to make some goofy new post about how it should have been on my list to begin with or whatever. I guess the latter isn't so bad since its absurd to be expected to somehow have listened to EVERY album that came out, but I guess that's why I have a problem to begin with. I'm convinced that if I hold out for just a couple more days I'll be able to somehow come up with a better list after discovering some obscure, yet amazing record, or re-listening to an album I previously thought was shitty and finding it to be mind-blowing. Even this rant is starting to get pretty irritating.

Rob Gordon was so fucking hip, he read Decibel before it even existed!!

Anyway, I just came on here to write a quick post about how my Top 10 is going to be a little late this year! The main reason actually isn't because I'm holding out until the new year (although that's something I'd do anyway out of principal), but because my headphones are kind of fucked up right now and it's going to be a couple weeks until I can get them fixed up and make sure my list is solid. That's another kind of annoying thing...in order to truly judge an album's quality, I have to hear it on headphones! Computer speakers, a tablet, a phone...nope!! Anyway, for everyone out there eagerly anticipating my list (i.e. Judge Dredd), just know that my list will be out soon!!  So should we leave it at that? ;)

Sergeant D is Coming...AND WE'RE ALL ON HIS LIST

Love him or hate him, infamous Metal (and non-Metal) writer, Sergeant D, has made a valid point about the collective obsession that Metal fans have with the past.

If I may summarize his point, he writes that there are far too many Metalheads who are content to listen to nothing but Metal music from the past and who shun any new Metal music. What’s more, this creates a market for bands who simply follow trends (or revitalizing old trends, such as with Old School Death Metal and Thrash), rather than really trying to do something unique. This aspect might account for the creative stagnation at which Sergeant D points.

In his post, Sergeant D includes two promotional posters for two Metal festivals. The headliners are all at least 10 to 20-year-old bands. Most of the headlining have also never really strayed from their trademark sounds.

I do certainly agree that Metalheads (especially IMNs) are too quick to dismiss new and experimental sounds in Metal. One can even look as far back as “Focus” by Cynic (truthfully, probably even farther). They toured with Cannibal Corpse after they released that album, and you can easily search on YouTube for live footage from that tour where people in the audience are audibly booing Cynic. In the present day, “Focus” is one of the most revered albums in the Death Metal genre (if it can even really considered Death Metal) and its influence has traveled far and wide.

So obviously, this conservative nature of Metal fandom is not new. Bands that are exceptionally avant-garde or simply doing something new and interesting are often cast aside for whatever is hot at the time.

Of course, one should point out that there is a canyon of difference between dismissing new music because it’s new, avant-garde, or experimental, and dismissing it because it just doesn’t line up with your musical preferences.

In many cases, it seems like words (used by IMNs) used to criticize are the same in both instances: “untrve” or “gay”. The most recent example that comes to mind is Deafheaven’s “Sunbather”. OK, it’s straying from the black metal (some may even say post-black metal) form with brighter tones and more triumphant highs than most other Black Metal. What happens? It gets pummeled by IMNs.

Now I will totally acknowledge that the criticism of “Sunbather” is also partly due to the fact that it has become the Metal baby of 2013 for “hipsters” - but this is also part of the issue. To IMNs, if it doesn’t appeal to their most kvlt or br00tal musical preferences, then it is “untrve” or “gay”. By the same token, if it appeals to an audience outside of the Metal community, it is also “untrve” or “gay”. Is “Sunbather” a bad album? In my opinion, no. It’s one of my favorite albums of 2013. You might think it’s a bad album, because it doesn’t align with your musical tastes. But it’s hard to deny that they are pulling, if ever so slightly, the Post-Black Metal form in a new direction and that is something commendable.

To give another example, I am not really a fan of Kayo Dot’s music. However, I respect them for their experimental nature and the way that they completely fuck with what our preconceived notions of heavy music should be.

In turn, this all creates a chasm of creativity: not many bands are willing to try something new or at least experiment with the form, because it’s just easier to get accepted doing something everyone else has heard before.

However, Sergeant D failed to point out that EVERY genre of music has its purists and conservatives. That’s just the way it works. Even what I would consider some of the most “progressive” music genres have their purists. For example, I would consider Jazz a very progressive genre of music. However, one needs to look no further than famed trumpeter, Wynton Marsalis, to see its puritanical side. Marsalis plays a very old style of Jazz and refuses to adapt. Many of his critics say that it’s as though Marsalis doesn’t realize that new Jazz music has come out since 1965.

In any case, it doesn’t make puritanism right in any musical genre. If you don’t think art should progress, you’re just ignorant.

Wat u think?

(the picture at the top of the post is taken from this Sergeant D article on more or less the same topic...also worth reading)

Wulf's Official Response to Decibel Magazine's Top 100 Black Metal Albums (part 3)

80. "In the Streams of the Inferno" - Mysticum




I know next to nothing about Mysticum except that they were playing black metal in Norway in the early '90s and and did a split with Ulver in '94. Other than that I guess this is some sort of forgotten classic? Like a lot of these albums on this half (100-50) of the list I'll have to check it out later. Sorry guyz.



79. "Fex Urbis Lex Orbis" - Ludicra



Man, part 3 of this list is starting out pretty badly. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get into Ludicra when they were all the rage several years ago. I know Judge Dredd was all over them, but for whatever reason they just didn't click for me. Add this to the growing pile of albums from this list I should probably revisit.



78. "Om" - Negură Bunget



OK, finally a band I know something about!! I've been interested in these dudes ever since I read an interview with them in Metal Maniacs (RIP) a long time ago where they talked about how their take on black metal was heavily inspired by Romanian folk tales, legends, and mysticism. Sign me up!!
Anyway, many people consider "Om" to be their best album (and if IIRC one of Terrorizer Magazine's Top 10 metal albums of the 2000s!), but unfortunately I'm still not too familiar with their stuff, even though I really like what I've heard!! I'm still pissed I didn't get to see these guys when they came to Sydney, but it was one of my first days at a new job!! :(



77. "Darkspace I" - Darkspace



I'm listening to this CD right now!! From what I can tell, it's somewhat similar to Wroth's other one-man BM band Paysage d'Hiver, except I prefer the latter. Paysage has a more varied sound, and his ambient stuff rules!! Really great for D&D (even if Professor Grindstein thought it sounded like NPR's Hearts of Space, bah!). Anyway, if you want unrelenting, emotionless, cold and uncaring black metal, then knock yourself out!



76. "Phoenix Rising" - Destroyer 666



Yeah!! Finally an album I'm somewhat familiar with!! Maybe it was because I was in Australia, but while living in Sydney I listened to this album all the time on the way to work!! I'd say "Lone Wolf Winter" is arguably the best song on the album, but almost the entire thing is chock full of killer riffs and savage energy. I don't know if I'd necessarily count this is a black metal album, but whatever. I'd say this is actually a pretty good spot on the list for this album!



75. "Written in Waters" - Ved Buens Ende



I haven't listened to much of this album, but based on what I've heard I think this album sucks and don't know why so many people like it! Maybe it's just too "weird" or whatever, maybe it's because the vocals are lame, maybe it's because the cover art blows, but if we're making a Top 100 black metal albums list then this would definitely not be one of my selections. Sorry, but no thanks!!



74. "Fas - Ite, Maledicti, in Ignem Aeternum" - Deathspell Omega



Even though it took me awhile to get into Deathspell just because they're style is so unorthodox, this is a great album, even if it is arguably the weakest of the "trilogy" that makes up their three latest full-lengths. Anyway, not too sure what to say about this record other than that it's dark, evil, disorienting, and has done a lot in taking black metal to a new, more intellectual and philosophical level.



73. "Battles in the North" - Immortal



One of my favorite Immortal albums!! I remember first checking out Immortal back in the Kazaa days and downloading as many black metal music videos as I could find. Besides Emperor's "The Loss and Curse of Reverence" and Satyricon's "Mother North", "Grim and Frostbitten Kingdoms" was arguably my favorite, even though not much happens in the music video. I think I just liked the song title...at the time, I didn't understand why the band was perhaps trying to sound like shit on purpose and was mainly into stuff like Dimmu Borgir, Borknagar, and In Flames. Anyway, it took me awhile but Immortal's pre-"At the Heart of Winter" sound really grew on me. I started realizing that crystal-clear production wasn't everything, and while "Sons of Northern Darkness" sounded awesome, there was a certain charm and mysterious atmosphere that went with this record's icy, hyperspeed riffing and blasting, rickety drums.



72. "Maranatha" - Funeral Mist



Always wanted to check out Mortuus' solo project, but didn't realize anything he had put out was critically acclaimed!! I'll investigate soon!



71. "Ultima Thulée" - Blut aus Nord



Seriously?? I guess it's a kvlt album and shit, but I found it to be kind of cheesy, amateurish, forgettable, and nowhere near as great as Blut aus Nord's later stuff!! Maybe I'm missing the point, as this is a much more dark, grim take on Nordic mythology (usually a lyrical theme completely beaten to death at this point by ever viking/folk metal band ever), but still!! I'm still working on BaN's earlier albums, but as far as I can tell the band didn't become truly relevant until "The Work Which Transforms God" (2003), which was also the leader in a renaissance of twisted French black metal that is still going strong today!! Anyway, sorry but I don't believe this album is good enough to be on here.

Assault and BA-TAH-RY!

The other day I was watching some live footage of Converge, and there was a point in the clip where Jacob Bannon's hoodie is getting pulled on by a fan who is attempting to stage dive (around 5:40).  Bannon proceeds to knee the guy in the face and then punches some other fan in the face (one can only assume he was trying to punch the same guy that he kneed, but who knows). 

After watching this, I realized something that hadn't occurred to me in my more-than-15-years of listening to Metal: assault and battery takes place at almost every decently attended Metal show.  OK, maybe not at EVERY decently attended Metal show, but at least at all of the shows that involve some sort of moshing or any sort of physical..."interactions"?

I consider myself a law-abiding citizen (ok, MOST of the time), yet it has never once entered my mind that by voluntarily (or involuntarily via my 14-year-old self at Hatebreed shows) joining a mosh pit, I am committing a crime against my fellow Metalheads.

I'm certainly not a lawyer nor an expert on law by any stretch of the imagination but think about it: unless you're playing American football, it's certainly illegal for people to run into you, which can sometimes result in your getting knocked to the floor (aka mosh pits). Those metalcore and hardcore guys who fly around like ninjas doing karate kicks?*  Pretty sure that's illegal.  Grabbing someone by the hair in order to toss them off stage (a la Randy Blythe)**?  Yup, illegal. Cutting someone's throat with a knife: DEFINITELY ILLEGAL.

 These guys all have black belts in karate.  Too bad they're breaking the law.

With the advent of smart phones with built-in video cameras, it's easier than ever to record the world around you at anytime, anywhere.  Of course, "anytime" and "anywhere" also include Metal shows where people beat the shit out of each other.  Thus, it is easier than ever to have irrefutable evidence that assault and/or battery took place at some random basement show in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.

What I find slightly surprising is that even with this type of video technology widely available, there aren't Metalheads suing one another (and the bands!) left and right!  I guess that means that for the most part we're pretty chill dudes and dudettes...who like to beat the shit out of each other.

Anyway, am I missing something here?  Shouldn't we all be going to jail?!?!  I guess I need to talk to a lawyer.  

...Actually, I did talk to a lawyer.  A good friend of mine...ahem...I mean, one member of my legal team...has been out of law school for a couple of years now and is currently employed with some hot shot law firm (the rest of my legal team, The Inverted Cross Examiner and The Lecherous Litigator, were unavailable for comment).  To protect his identity, I will refer to him only as "The Cryptic Prosecutor".  Here is what The Cryptic Prosecutor had to say on the subject:

"When thinking of situations like this, one may consider other entertaining events...like baseball games. A baseball fan is presumed to assume some risk in attendance. This is because a "reasonably prudent person" knows what to expect at such an event. Like a foul ball, or bat even, coming into the stands." 

OK, sure.  Any "reasonably prudent" Metalhead, who has gone to more than one show, knows that mosh pits are to be expected. 

"So, the question is rather would a reasonable person take a risk in attending these type of concerts based on the knowledge these events lead to this risk. In this situation, it is not a subjective observation, rather, an objective observation."

OK, makes sense.  We objectively know that people will beat the shit out of each other at Metal shows.  Brutal.  Moving on...

"Another thing to consider is that a court may not care about two people getting into a fight in a consensual manner. Each party may be liable for the injuries for the other party. This can apply in a civil and criminal court."

Alright, courts don't give a flying fuck about consensual moshers.  

"At the end of the day we have to hope that a court will try and make a reasonable decision, not always the case, in which the parties are restored to where they were before they were injured. Civil courts lacks superhuman powers, so this is usually done through financial means."

So if you and some other dude get your bones broken ravaging each other in the pit, you BOTH may have to pay up until you're both not horribly disfigured.

Thanks, The Cryptic Prosecutor! 

So, since one would generally expect a mosh pit to take place at a Metal show, one would make an implicit acceptance of the risk, and therefore, could not lay fault on others for moshing.  If two hardcore kids get into a karate match, then chances are the court may make both parties pay for losses incurred by doctor visits or reconstructive surgeries. 

Case closed.



 

*Note: Assault, by legal definition, is merely the "threat of violence"...that is one law-related thing I do know...

**Note: Yes, I know he was not convicted.  I'm not saying he killed someone, I'm saying he grabbed someone's hair in order to remove them from the stage.  This is clearly seen on many a YouTube video.

Wulf's Official Response to Decibel Magazine's Top 100 Black Metal Albums (part 2)

89. "The Black House" - Krieg

Man, I always wanted to get into this album. I've already expressed my disdain for 90's USBM bands since they just seemed so lame compared with their European counterparts...however, the whole concept behind this particular record really intrigued me. Back when I was still a bit new to the scene in 2004 I just thought black metal for the most part just involved being Satanic and anti-Christian, so to read about a band who was doing something different lyrically was interesting to me. For those out of the loop, "The Black House" is somewhat of a weird autobiography of Imperial himself portrayed through some nightmarish musical lens. I should probably actually listen to the album before I talk about it in more detail, but I always wanted to sit down with this record and try to get a better idea of what Imperial's deal is. Great album cover too!!

88. "Those of the Unlight" - Marduk

Even though the album cover is fucking awesome, I think early Marduk is kind of mediocre. I don't know why people are so blown away by it! Yeah, it's got its strengths: Bogge's bass sounds great, the drum production matches the atmosphere, and Av Gravf's vocals are really well-done. However, what brings it down are too many mediocre riffs that don't go anywhere, as well as being a bit slow (compared to Marduk's later stuff)...it just doesn't do it for me. For me shit doesn't start getting real though until Legion and Fredrik Andersson are both in the band and take the intensity up a notch, although it's debatable who is the better vocalist between Legion and Av Gravf. My vote goes to Legion I suppose just because on metal-archives.com he looks like this, whereas Av Gravf looks like this (and went on to play in Dimension Zero, which isn't very evil).
Anyway, Norwegian BM during this time was way better during this time as well. This shit is especially whack if you compare it to what Mayhem, Burzum, Immortal, Emperor, etc. were putting out in the early '90s. I know most BM elitists consider Marduk's pinnacle to be either this one, "Opus Nocturne", or "Heaven Shall Burn...When We Are Gathered", but what can I say?? I like my black metal fast and brutal, and Marduk doesn't start getting truly speedy until "Nightwing" (which I would much rather listen to than any of their albums that came before it). Still though, one of my favorite album covers!!

87. "Malice (Our Third Spell)" - Gehenna

I've never really listened to Gehenna. I know that they're an old-school Norwegian BM band from back in the day, but the only song I really know by them is "A Witch Is Born" from their second LP...I think it was back in 2003 or so and I had just read Lords of Chaos and was trying to check out as many new Scandinavian black metal bands as I could find, and this was their only song available on Kazaa. I remember thinking the track was pretty cool, but didn't like it enough to get my hands on any of their records. I'll come back and give this a listen later!!

86. "Black Thrash Attack" - Aura Noir

Surprise, surprise, I haven't listened to this album, sorry!! I know it's got a bunch of big names involved with it from the Norwegian BM scene and blah blah but I'll probably give it a listen after I check out Gehenna haha.

85. "Anno Domini" - Tormentor

God fucking damnit!! I haven't heard this either!! When I first saw this I was pretty surprised...Attila Csihar's old band's 1989 demo...yeah right! No one's heard that shit! Then I looked on metal-archives and saw that it has 9 reviews and a score of 92%. Ugh. I'll have to check it out...is it really that good though?? These guys were like, 17 when this came out (yeah, I know so were the dudes in Emperor, but you know what I mean!!)!

84. "Thy Dying Light" - Judas Iscariot



First of all, I need to mention that the song title "His Eternal Life, Like a Dream Was Obliterated..." is one of my favorite song titles ever (it's also my favorite track on the album)!! Actually, all the song titles are pretty cool on this album...not too sure what the lyrics are since they're mostly just (allegedly) trance-induced improvised babbling (IIRC based on interviews with Akhenaten). I don't know why I enjoyed this album more than his others (besides "Heaven in Flames", that's a good one too). It's been awhile since I've listened to it, but I remember enjoying it because the songs are long, hypnotic, and depressing. Also, he seems like he was pretty fucking serious about this shit. Something about the ritualistic, hypnotic quality of the music and its mysteriousness just gets me. Why it applies to this album more than the others I can't remember, but this one stuck out in my mind as his best work along with "Heaven in Flames". I also just really enjoy listening to his psychotic babbling too! I like to imagine this was recorded on a cold day in a shitty part of DeKalb, Illinois, with weeks of physical and mental preparation and the actual music itself being an afterthought. Worth checking out, but I would put it a bit higher on this list, if at all.



83. "Fuck the Universe" - Craft



I listened to either this album or their latest ("Void") and remember thinking it was just OK. I should probably listen to it again though, as these guys seem pretty evil!!



82. "Gin" - Cobalt



Damn, this one's tough! I really wanted to like it, as Phil McSorley seems like an interesting cat based on his interviews. The fact that the record is all philosophical and nihilistic is cool, but the cover art is what really does it for me! I love it when there's just some old photograph or artwork (in this case, it's a portrait of a young Ernest Hemingway) with a metal logo superimposed randomly on the cover. It's too bad that Cobalt's logo is kind of lame; I prefer the traditional, completely illegible BM logo, but whatever. Anyway, I remember the music on this album to be interesting and fairly original, but nothing special enough to cement itself on some underground metal magazine's Top 100 Black Metal Albums list. I've always been meaning to give it another chance though, as well as Cobalt's earlier albums. Anyway, as with many of these albums on this list, I'll have to revisit it sometime soon to make a final judgement!



81. "Min Tid Skal Commme" - Fleurety



This is one band I come across like once a year when I'm drinking wine by myself on a Friday night and digging through metal-archives for random crap. While usually I'm drawn to experimental black metal, I really don't want to like these dudes just because I think their name sucks (yeah it's supposedly the name of a demon, but that demon picked a pretty shitty name...it sounds like something Tom Cruise would name his daughter or some shit) and the guys just look like dorks. Anyway, I'm just talking out of my ass, I'm sure this is a wonderful album. I'll check it out soon enough!!

Seasons in the Abyss

 

 

Well, another autumn seems to be abruptly coming to an end. Autumn always makes me feel reflective and a bit nostalgic, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. For some reason, during this autumn in particular, I happened to listen to a lot of albums and bands that remind me of specific times in my life. Most of the bands and albums I stumbled on to were not on purpose, though it seemed like an unconscious force was leading me towards them.

Listening to bands and albums for which I have such strong mnemonic associations lead me to think about how we are possibly (stick with me here) unconsciously drawn to music that we perceive to "fit" into a certain season while that season is occurring. Honestly, now that I write that out, it sounds like a complete pile of horseshit.

However, I think we can all agree, for example, that listening to "Blizzard Beasts" or "Transylvanian Hunger" in the snowy dead of winter makes a whole lot more goddamn sense than listening to them in the blistering heat of the summer.

So after some considerable deliberation, I thought I would list some Metal bands that I think "fit" into a certain season. Of course, you can listen to these bands and albums any goddamn time you want. But to harness their trve power, you have to play them during the right time of year.

Note: I tried to avoid some obvious choices, such as the aforementioned "Blizzard Beasts" for Winter.

The Triumph of Spring
 

In the spring I picture myself prancing upon fields of tulips and lilac, biking along rivers, and picnicking as the sun bathes me in it's nurturing warmth...so, uh...not exactly the most Metal of experiences.

It was for this very reason that spring was the most difficult season for which to think of examples. Normally we think of spring as a time of rebirth and new beginnings. This is a problem when it comes to matching this with appropriate Metal bands or albums, because - let's face it - about 90% of Metal lyrically deals with destruction, death, evil, and just about everything that is opposite of concepts of rebirth and new beginnings. So I had to think of happy, triumphant-sounding Metal - namely, Power and Progressive Metal.

Dragonforce

Nothing says "EPIC TRIUMPH OF SPRING FLOWERS!" like Dragonforce!

 

Stratovarious

Blind Guardian
 

Angra 
 

Dream Theater

Scale the Summit
 

Summer Slaughter of the Liver

When I think of summer, I picture myself at BBQs, the beach, and back patio and deck parties. I picture myself drinking outside, going on road trips, and...did I mention drinking outside? In short - carefree, good-times Metal.
 

Speedwolf

 

I thought Motorhead would have been too obvious of a choice for summer, so I chose Speedwolf who are heavily heavily heavily influenced by Lemmy and his merry band of drunken minstrels.
 

Municipal Waste

 

OK, maybe an obvious choice...but how could I forego listing the ultimate Metal party band of the post-millenium!
 

Torche

Dawnbringer
 

Manowar
 

Alestorm

Demon of the Fall

 

As I mentioned in the introduction, fall for me is a time of reflection and bittersweet nostalgia. For this reason, fall is also an ideal time for Graduation Day Metal (a term coined by Mark of the Beast, which is basically synonymous with Shoegaze Metal). For fall, I picture myself hiking (by myself, of course) with the colored leaves falling all around me thinking about...what...could...have...been.

 

For whatever reason, the French have metal for autumn down pat.
 

Isis
 

Agalloch 

Les Discrets
 

Alcest

Amesoeurs

 

 

Deafheaven

 

 

Black Winter Days

 

This was by far the easiest season to come up with examples for. I mean, c'mon...the most grim and kvlt season of them all!  I imagine myself trudging through the never-ending snow-laden tundra.  Or wandering aimlessly in the forest as snow falls around me.  That or just losing my mind while thrashing around in my bed, because I haven't seen the sun in four months and can't stop reading philosophy for whatever reason.  Really hard to narrow all the choices down, but I focused mostly on Doom and Black Metal.
 

Xasthur

How can it possibly get more grim or cold than Xasthur?!

Khanate

SO MUCH EXISTENTIAL DESPAIR

Dissection

 

Nowadays, people can't seem to stop cumming in their pants over "grim" and "kvlt" production values in Black Metal releases (the majority of which I can only assume were recorded exclusively using Yak Baks). But for me, there aren't many releases that are more "grimly cold" than the slick-sounding "Storm of the Light's Bane".

 

Velvet Cacoon

 

Mournful Congregation

 

 

(old) Katatonia

 

New Katatonia isn't quite as dread-inducing as their older material, so I included an old favorite of mine as the last entry.