WULF'S (& FRIENDS'!!) MAYHEMIC TOP 10 METAL ALBUMS OF 2015 BLITZKRIEG OF BRUTALITY

This is eventually what I turn into when
my students won't shut the fuck up in class.

This year, I'm going to be doing something a bit different.   Of course, I'll be including my own top 10 (which, I think we can all admit, is going to be much better than everyone else's you'll find on this blog or any other place on the internet (ESPECIALLY Judge Dredd's wack-ass list, but everyone already knew that :p), but this time around I'm going to take advantage of my current situation as a temporary denizen of the Far East to find out what people around here, expats and/or Koreans, are digging as well!   So, prepare yourself for not just my dumb list, BUT a slew of other lists of well from the Korean underground metal community!   In my opinion, you can never have too many Top 10 lists because ever since we all got high-speed internet and access to virtually any music that's ever been recorded EVER, you'll find a seemingly infinite amount of variety, and, more importantly, inevitably at least one hidden gem every time you browse.

It's funny, I was actually talking to my buddy WinterTriangles about submitting his own Top 10 list for the MI blog when he told me that he actually found the whole Top 10 albums-of-the-year lists frustrating because he felt like they just end up being completely different in a couple of years after you inevitably discover all the other shit later on that you missed when it came out.   However, while I do feel like this is a valid point, I'd like to argue that instead, these Top 10 lists should be like a snapshot of what your favorite jams of the year were at the time you made the list, instead of being considered like THE definitive guide to THE BEST METAL ALBUMS OF "YEAR X".   So, let the party begin!

WULF'S MAYHEMIC TOP 10 METAL ALBUMS OF 2015 BLITZKRIEG OF BRUTALITY

10.   Ghost - Meliora
I don't care if this sounds like music from the '70s Scooby Doo cartoon, the whole thing is a gimmick, etc.   These are great songs, even if they are barely metal (definitely more on the hard rock side of the spectrum).   A lot of people felt like maybe this band was on the decline after the mixed reception that was seen with the release of their sophomore record, Infestissumam (2013), but I think the general consensus with Meliora is that Ghost are back with a vengeance, proving to everyone that they're here to stay and still have the skills and songwriting ability to pull off a great album.  Of course, it's not as good as their debut, Opus Eponymous (2010), and they probably won't ever put out anything that will be as good, but I still enjoyed the hell out of this album!
RIYL: Blue Öyster Cult, The Devil's Blood, Blood Ceremony, Mercyful Fate, Deep Purple
Recommended track: "From the Pinnacle to the Pit"

9.   Myrkur - M
At this point, I'm so fucking sick of the whole controversy surrounding Myrkur that I'm not even going to talk about it because it's just been done to death and I don't really have anything to add.   However, I WILL say that I found the music on this record to be fantastic, even if it did, at times, get a bit "New Age-y / Enya" for my tastes.   Also, the drums are too quiet and sound too digital or over-produced...I'm not exactly sure what the right term is, but this kind of album needs the drums to be louder and more raw!   That way everyone knows that you're not fucking around!
   Anyway, not to take anything away from Ms. Bruun's own composition skills, but I do also feel like M benefited immensely by enlisting Garm as producer and adding a real drummer (the drums on her 2014 self-titled EP are programmed) and a bunch of other session musicians to add to the dark, neo-folk-ish atmospheric ambiance (horns, violins, fiddles, etc.).   While the ambient pieces by themselves are quite pretty, the real gems on this album are when Myrkur goes for the jugular with the black metal.   She retains her own sound and style, but definitely takes some influence from Darkthrone, Ulver (old and new!), and maybe even like Amorphis or Otyg (lol).   Fuck the haterz!  This album won't score you any points with basement black metal dorks, but it is definitely a badass, refreshing new take on the genre and a welcome addition to the whole "post-black metal" scene that's all the rage right now.   Don't let the naysayers get you down, Amalie!   M  is a beautiful album!   Gorgeous album art too.
RIYL:  Ulver, Alcest, Wolves in the Throne Room, God Seed
Recommended track: "Hævnen"
You can listen to the entire album for free here.

8.   厄鬼 (Aek Gwi) - 靈樹林 (Forest of Ghost)
It's entirely possible that Vhan (the dude behind Aek Gwi, one of his many pseudonyms) created this album entirely in one sitting when he was drunk one night in his basement.   I don't care!   It's fucking brilliant!   I'm actually in the process of writing an entire post about Aek Gwi (including an interview with Vhan himself!), so I'm going to keep this description short.   All I'm going to say is that it kind of reminds me of a mix between like Nortt and some "Oriental" ambient/ritualistic bedroom black metal, so you know what that means!   Turn off the lights, put on your headphones, and let this baby take you on a mysterious journey deep into the various layers of the Buddhist hells.
RIYL:  Beherit, Nortt, Xasthur, Sunn O))), Burzum
Recommended track: "靈樹林 (Forest of Ghost) - Part 1"
You can listen to the entire album for free here.

7.   Vastum - Hole Below
In the mood for absolutely crushing, evil-ass death metal?   These guys nail that "cavernous" sound perfectly, except for some reason when listening to this I imagine the band playing in some dilapidated abandoned factory instead of a cave.   Catchy riffs, plenty of groove, and otherworldly guttural vocals meant for summoning demonic entities from the Abyss.   Really hits the spot when you want some occult-tinged punishing brutality!
RIYL:   Morbid Angel, Cannibal Corpse, Immolation, Incantation, Dead Congregation
Recommended track: "Sodomistic Malevolence"
You can listen to the entire album for free here.

6.   Ghost Bath - Moonlover
Yeah, yeah, these guys are posers and tried to make us think they were a DSBM collective from China but really they're just an indie rock band and blah blah, but I don't give a fuck.   This stuff is great!  With gorgeous melodies that masterfully evoke the angst, sadness, and beautiful, haunting despair that we all expect when listening to this kind of "Graduation Day black metal", if that sounds like your thing then I highly recommend checking this out.   It's going to be interesting to see where the band decides to go from here.   Whether or not this is a "gimmick" (same goes with some of the other albums in my list) is beside the point- this is killer stuff.
RIYL:  Silencer, Alcest, Nachtmystium, Deafheaven, Woods of Desolation, Lifelover
Recommended track:  "Golden Number"
Read Wulf's interview with the band here.
Read CJ's review of the album here.

5.   A Forest of Stars - Beware of the Sword You Cannot See
The madness continues!!   There's a lot to love about this band- their weird backstory, the obsession with Victorian England, and the sheer insanity and experimentation that goes into their psychedelic black metal-based music.   I'm not going to waste time and debate genres here, because it's obvious that A Forest of Stars have their own thing going on here.   The music conjures up scenes of Theosophistic séances, perusing the wares of a semi-forgotten curio shoppe, hallucinatory visions in the midst of an opium overdose, or even at times the violence and sheer insanity akin to something you'd see in the Lovecraftian-esque horror/action/rpg Playstation 4 game Bloodborne (easily one of my favorite games of all time).   The second half also comprises of one "song" split into six parts (titled "Pawn on the Universal Chessboard")
RIYL:  Negură Bunget, Arcturus, Oranssi Pazuzu, Peste Noire, Nachtmystium
Recommended track: "Drawing Down the Rain"
You can listen to the entire album for free here.

4.   Archgoat - The Apocalyptic Triumphator 

The mighty Archgoat return with another blasphemic, evil, bestial collection of elite hymns dedicated to all things perverted and sacrilegious.   This is no-frills, no bullshit, straight to the point, punishing mayhem.   Badass album art too, you can always count on Thorncross to bring the grimness.
RIYL:  Blasphemy, Beherit, Black Witchery, Incantation, Inquisition
Recommended track: "Nuns, Cunts & Darkness"
You can listen to the entire album for free here.

3.   Obsequiae - Aria of Vernal Tombs
Underrated band AND album!   Is it because they're on a small label?   Is their name too hard to pronounce?   Maybe it's because they have a harpist in the band.   Either way, this album fucking rules.   Yeah, the cover art is kind of lame and the drums are too quiet, buried, and sound a bit too sterile (almost programmed), but those are characteristics easily ignored when you have those goddamn gorgeous lead guitars running the show!   The vocals are also great as well, mixed just right as they're slightly buried and echoing from the back of a Medieval castle's great hall or an ancient cathedral.   When you think "medieval metal", your mind immediately goes to cheesy power metal like Hammerfall or Rhapsody, with synth horns, nonstop double bass, etc.   Not so with Obsequiae!   I'm not exactly sure how they do it, but by combining the atmosphere and aesthetics of black metal with the production (kind of) and melody of The Jester Race-era In Flames.   Thematically I feel like there's a lot going on here too, but haven't had enough time to really explore that angle yet.   Definitely going to come back to this one in the future.   Brilliant stuff!
RIYL: (old) In Flames, Forefather, Peste Noire
Recommended track: "Autumnal Pyre"
You can listen to the entire album for free here

2.   Tribulation - The Children of the Night
This band took me awhile to get into for whatever reason, but once I started reading their interviews and realizing how much fun they are I started really digging their music.   So, without further ado, I'm going to jump on the Tribulation bandwagon now (I remember Judge Dredd has been telling me to check them out for a couple of years now!) and join in the chorus of praise that's being heaped on these guys right now.   It's a melodramatic, adventurous, kick-ass journey that blends black metal, death metal, and progressive rock into something that is catchy, mysterious, and theatrical.   I don't know exactly how serious they are about the occult lyrical themes, but it doesn't matter because this just straight-up bad-ass music.
RIYL:  Mercyful Fate, Dissection, Ghost, Watain, Witchcraft
Recommended track:  "Strange Gateways Beckon"

1.   Akhlys - The Dreaming I
At this point I'm going to argue that the US has the best black metal scene right now.   While Europe has seemingly had a monopoly on the genre since its inception, at some point in the last 10 years USBM went from a joke to putting out the most innovative and compelling material not just in black metal, but in all of heavy metal regardless of the subgenre.   If you would have asked me in the early 2000s, I'd probably have said Europe would still be the leader in the genre, but anyone who still seriously believes that clearly isn't keeping up with the times.
Just look at this new Akhlys record.   As a once dark ambient side project of Naas Alcameth (Nightbringer), what we have here is some top-notch, evil as fuck USBM from the majestic mountains of Colorado.   Some parts of this album I'd imagine are perfect for standing at the top of a craggy peak whilst performing a bizarre occultic ritual under an ominous starry evening sky.  Some of this is unrelentingly frantic in its intensity, and would be the perfect soundtrack to people being swallowed up by the earth and plunging headlong into Hell.
RIYL:  Lucifyre, Pestilential Shadows, Emperor, Nightbringer, Blut aus Nord
Recommended tracks: "Breath and Levitation"
You can listen to the entire album for free here.

Honorable mentions:
There was a lot of other great stuff that came out this year that didn't make it on my list that I'd still like to talk about, but I'm not sure if I have the time or patience to go through each one.   So, here's just a (lame) list of other stuff I really enjoyed this year:
Ancient Rites (Laguz), Drowning the Light (From the Abyss), Leviathan (Scar Sighted), Pyramids (A Northern Meadow), Drudkh (Борозна обірвалася (A Furrow Cut Short)), Liturgy (The Ark Work), Arcturus (Arcturian), Negură Bunget (Tău), Violet Cold (Desperate Dreams), Sarpanitum (Blessed Be My Brothers...), Deafheaven (New Bermuda), Árstíðir Lífsins (Aldafǫðr ok Munka Dróttinn), Vhöl (Deeper Than Sky), Kroda (GinnungaGap GinnungaGaldr GinnungaKaos), Abigail Williams (The Accuser), Ævangelist (Enthrall to the Void of Bliss), Panopticon (Autumn Eternal), Havukruunu (Havulinnaan), Enthauptung (Adirondack), Marduk (Frontschwein), Thorr-Axe (Gates of Winter), Doomentor (The Second Ceremony), Enslaved (In Times), Visigoth (The Revenant King), Crypt Sermon (Out of the Garden), Melechesh (Enki), Peste Noire (La Chaise-Dyable), Dead in the Manger (Cessation), Venom (From the Very Depths), Abstracter (Wound Empire), Carach Angren (This is No Fairytale), Abyss (Heretical Anatomy), Goat Semen (Ego Svm Satana), Shining (IX - Everyone, Everything, Everywhere, Ends), Dødheimsgard (A Umbra Omega), Forefather (Curse of the Cwelled), Blaze of Perdition (Near Death Revelations), Hypothermia (Svartkonst), Xibalba (Tierra y Libertad), House of Atreus (The Spear and the Ichor That Follows), Terra (Terra), Enforcer (From Beyond), Napalm Death (Apex Predator - Easy Meat), Night Demon (Curse of the Damned).

Dungeon Synth

Do you REALLY think I'd end my list of favorite albums without including some dungeon synth?   Yeah, I know it's not metal, but it's definitely in the metal "spirit", plus I guarantee you that most dungeon synth fans/artists are black metal fans as well!  Many of the dungeon synth artists themselves actually have their own black metal projects too.   It's not a coincidence that a lot of these dudes have corpsepaint in their promo pics and black metal-esque logos and album covers.   Anyway, I know you're dying to find out the best DS albums of this year, so let's get to it!

So far, Deivlforst Records has been killing it this year with some really great stuff.   I'm not going to name names, but some of the DS labels/groups out there don't really seem to discriminate when it comes to who they'll include in their roster, so their Bandcamp page has become bogged down with a bunch of crapola.   Like any music genre, the vast majority of the stuff is mediocre, and dungeon synth is no exception.   Luckily, though, there are labels and collectives that you can almost always count on to only put out high-quality material, and Deivlforst so far has proven to be one of them!

Murgrind - Inheritor of the Forest
Throne

First up is what is probably my favorite DS album of the year, Murgrind's Inheritor of the Forest Throne (either that or Grimrik's Die Mauern der Nacht, see below).  It's arguably just as good as his last album, Journey Through the Mountain (2013), but I feel like this time around the production is slightly better.  Anyway, it continues the epic story that began with the previous album, and retains the same ancient beauty and old-world atmosphere as well.   Definitely going to write more about this album in a future post, because it's absolutely killer and really sets the bar for what truly excellent dungeon synth sound like.

Grimrik - Die Mauern der Nacht

Grimrik is another amazing Deivlforst artist, although musically it is quite different from Murgrind or really any other DS artist for that matter.   I don't know if you can consider this even DS at this point.   Instead of being transported to a mystical fantasy world, Grimrik's music sends you into the cosmos.      Anyway, it took me awhile to get into his last album, Eisreich (2013), but I took to Die Mauern der Nacht immediately.   This is the soundtrack to the exploration of hulking, derelict spaceships, to arcane alien technology, and to collapsing, ancient galactic civilizations.   Same as Murgrind's Die Mauern der Nacht (see above), I planning on writing more about this album in a future post.   Anyway, this album fucking rules, and while I can't honestly say it's 100% dungeon synth, it's thus far my favorite release of the year within the "DS scene", whatever that means.

Sviatibor - Discovery of a
Blazing Emptiness

Last, I'd like to briefly discuss Sviatibor's Deivlforst Records debut, Discovery of a Blazing Emptiness.   I guess it's kind of in the same boat as Grimrik in that I don't know if this really counts as dungeon synth, but I suppose it could work!   Definitely cosmic-themed (according to his Bandcamp, this album is heavily inspired by the movie Interstellar (2014) and its OST), this album will have you floating amidst the vast comic sea in no time.   Can't wait to write more about this album later, it's pretty cool!   As a side note, it looks like he also puts out black metal under the Sviatibor moniker as well, so I'll have to remember to check that out as well.

Lord Lovidicus - The Book of
Lore - Vol. I

Moving away from Deivlforst Records, we can't end the discussion without talking about (arguably) the two major heavyweights of new-school dungeon synth, Lord Lovidicus and Erang.   Lord Lovidicus picked up sound-wise where he left off with with his last album, the amazing Wandervogel des Waldes (2014), except thematically he's incorporating a bit more "dungeon" in his dungeon synth this time around (going back to his roots or whatever) and taking heavy inspiration from J.R.R. Tolkien, with a concept centered around The Silmarillion.   I haven't read the Silmarillion, but I'm assuming that this music will be a pretty good soundtrack to go along with whatever's happening in the book as you read.   While I don't feel like Book of Lore - Vol. I was quite nearly as good as Wandervogel des Waldes, it's still a badass album and wayyyy better than 99% (seriously) of the other DS out there.

Erang, not to be outdone, dropped TWO different albums this year, with The Kingdom of Erang in March and Tome X in October.   Unlike Mr. Lovidicus, all of Erang's music seems to be based on a fantasy tabletop RPG (probably D&D) campaign (set in a world known as "The Land of the Five Seasons") he was involved with when he was younger, so it's kind of cool when you listen to his music because each song offers another glimpse into this mystical realm which had such a strong impact on him as a teenager and continues to haunt his imagination as an adult.

Erang - Kingdom of Erang

However, just like Lord Lovidicus' latest album, Erang's 2015 material wasn't quite as amazing as his earlier stuff, such as Another World, Another Time (2013) and In the Land of My Imagination, I am the Only God (2014).   Kingdom of Erang is quite experimental in terms of new-school dungeon synth, and is almost transcending the genre entirely and getting into proper video game soundtracks and new age ambient stuff.   It's still definitely Erang and retains that mysterious, medieval fantasy atmosphere, not bad, but I prefer his older stuff more.

Erang - Tome X

 His other release, Tome X, is all over the place just like Kingdom of Erang.   You've got beauty, intrigue, tiptoeing through the dungeons, whimsical madness, etc.  All in all, this is definitely one of his more diverse albums, but still does an amazing job of stimulating the imagination!   I'd say Tome X is the stronger album of the two, although I'm going to need more time to explore it to really get a feel for what's going on.   All you need to know for now is that it's another fine Erang release, although I would recommend it more as music for listening to as its presented rather than as tabletop fantasy RPG background music (same goes for Kingdom of Erang as well).

Foglord - Celestial

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention an artist who's been in the game for a few years now but whose music has improved dramatically- Foglord!   While he did put out a short demo earlier in May (The Old Wanderers Tale) containing a couple of unused tracks, I'm going to focus on his excellent full-length album, Celestial, released a few months later in August.   Celestial works on a bunch of different levels- you can listen to it as music to relax to, to fall asleep and dream to, and, of course, as background music for a tabletop RPG :)  It's quite dreamy, ethereal, and minimalist, so there's plenty of room for you to let your imagination wander.   Really beautiful stuff!

Are you interested in reading my other articles about DUNGEON SYNTH??   Of course you are!   You can read ALL of Wulf's posts about DS here.

FRIENDS' TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2015

JON CAMP (US Air Force)
I've only met Jon a handful of times, but he's a really nice dude who clearly knows his extreme metal, especially when it comes to brutal death metal!   Check out his list below, there's a ton of great stuff!!


10.   Chapel of Disease - The Mysterious Ways of Repetitive Art
Really awesome production and a morbid, cemetery-like vibe has kept my interest since I got this.   It's not the flashiest album of the year and is maybe a bit of a sleeper because of that.   Crank up the volume, as this sucker clocks in at an amazing DR11.

9.   Sarpanitum - Blessed be My Brothers
Really spaced out sounding progressive death metal.   If this didn't sound so much like Mithras it probably would have ranked higher, as it's very good.   The guitar melodies/solos and drumming are definitely the backbone of the album.   This is interesting music through and through.   And we're getting treated to the new Mithras in 2016.




8.   Kronos - Arisen New Era
Very catchy brutal death metal that makes me want to pump my fist and bang my head.   It's plenty technical, plenty brutal, and just plain good.



7.   Horrendous - Anareta
I'm a big Horrendous fan, but I was kind of let down by this the first couple weeks I had it.   I (finally) gave it a chance, and it has blown me away since.   These guys are incredibly talented, and they know how to make a song move.   I'm still digesting it, so it might become more of a favorite as time goes on.



6.   Scythian - Hubris in Excelsis
A blackened death/thrash scorcher!   Who needs genre tags anyway?   Great riffing, mind-blowing solos, twisted vocals with plenty of variety, and great songwriting.   A must buy for fans of extreme metal.


5.   Spectral Voice - Necrotic Doom
The best death/doom I've ever heard.   The album title says it all...this is doom and it's necrotic.   This might be the heaviest thing released this year, and I can't stop playing it.   Again, next year's full-length on Dark Descent is getting purchased as soon as it drops.


4.   Blood Incantation - Interstellar Extinction
After several listens, this bite-size morsel is hard to chew and has gotten stuck in my head.   When I tell people that I listen to technical death metal, this is what I mean!   Please get Rings of Saturn or whatever other off-the-shelf tripe out of your vocabulary and listen to technical DEATH METAL, not TECHNICAL death metal.   I'm eagerly awaiting the 2016 full-length announced by Dark Descent.


3.   Sulphur Aeon - Gateway to the Antisphere
Lovecraftian-themed death metal that is dark and epic.   I've listened to it enough times (too many to count) that I know the songs inside and out.   I can confidently say that these dudes didn't miss a beat writing this album.   Fantastic.



2.   Monolithe - Epsilon Aurigae 
The long wait is finally over.   Monolithe have ditched the slower portions that kind of helped them keep the funeral doom handle for a much (relatively) faster-moving sound, and they've succeeded in making some mighty fine music that doesn't fit any genre mold that I've come across.   The entire album is like the mid-section of III...very moving, engaging, dark metal with interwoven guitar melodies, unexpected shifts in mood, an epic sound, and overall stunning performances.   This could very well steal the number one spot (in my Top 10 list) from Ad Nauseam in the coming months, but with a December release it's hard to tell.   Overall, excellent!

1.   Ad Nauseam - Nihil Quam Vacuitas Ordinatum Est
Twisting, twisted progressive death metal with plenty of technical flair, fantastic songwriting (songs? overrated!), and an eerie backdrop.   The production job is one of the best I've heard all year, and I can't get enough of this bizarre masterpiece of mind-bending music.   To think that this is a debut...




DAN OROZCO (Asia Metalhead)

In addition to being a metal enthusiast and
all-around nice guy, Mr. Orozco is an MMA
fighter, is almost penta-lingual (English, Japanese,
Korean, Japanese Sign Language, and some
Spanish!), and runs the Asia Metalhead blog. 

Dan Orozco is arguably the leader of the expat metalheads in Seoul, and I'm happy to say that he's a good friend as well!   On top of that, he happens to be a great source of information for all things metal that are going on in East Asia (from India to Japan), so why not check out his list of favorite albums over on his site, Asia Metalhead?   It seems kind of silly/plagiarizing to just copy and paste Mr. Orozco's Top 10 on here, so I'm just going to link you to his blog so you can see for yourself!   While it's mostly non-Asian metal that ended up making his list, he does mention a couple notable albums by Asian metal bands that are worth checking out, such as new stuff by Gotsu Totsu Kotsu (Japan) and Ishtar (South Korea)!
Check it out here: http://asiametalhead.com/2015/12/my-top-10-of-2015/

BESTIAL DESECRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL (Nocturnal Damnation)

Does this dude look familiar?   Of course he does!  We just posted his interview a few days ago on here!   Because it took me forever to get the interview translated and published, while we were going over the layout and corrections to the post I realized that it was getting close to the end of the year, so I was lucky enough to get his picks for the best metal of 2015.    Check out the list below to see which records especially tortured his eardrums...



10.   Cruciamentum - Charnel Passages
Dark, brutally atmosphere psalm!!!   "Charnel Passages" is pure essence of death metal in U.K.!!

9.   Abominator - Evil Proclaimed
Aussie demonic hordes!!   Blasphemous, non-stop brutal assault.





8.   Embrace of Thorns - Darkness Impenetrable 
Greek extremists' 4th album!!   Heavy, solid, and barbarous death/black metal.



7.   Doombringer - The Grand Sabbath
Brooding, heavy, epic death/black metal with a doom metal touch!!   Impressive!!!

6.   Goat Semen - Ego Svm Satana
Debut full-length from Peruvian goat trips since 2000!!!   Evil madness sound!!!!

5.   Deiphago - Into the Eye of Satan 

Filipino Antichrist are back!!!   Primitive black/death of war!   Must get it or die motherfuckers!!!

4.   Black Witchery / Revenge - Holocaustic Death March to Humanity's Doom 
Two barbarians unite!   Total chaotic and brutal split.

3.   Revenge - Behold.Total.Rejection
Canadian Antichrist elitists rise!!   New chaotic/bestial attack!!!   Recommend.

2.   Archgoat - The Apocalyptic Triumphator
One of the best albums of 2015 without any doubts!!   Obscure black/death metal.




1.   Blasphemy - Fallen Angel of Doom (2015 re-issue)
In short, a classic war/death metal album!!   There's no need to explain any more!!!

MOON SANG-HO (문상호) (厄鬼 - Aekgwi, Misanthropic Art Productions, Misanthropic Artworks)

This dude's artwork fucking rules.   Yeah, it's kind of a rip-off of Thorncross, and yeah, his logos are kind of look like every other metal logo out there (especially those by Christophe Szpajdel) but I don't give a fuck!  This kid has immense talent!   Not only that, but I really dig his music too (see #8 on my own top 10 list above!).   Judging by his art, I'm pretty sure he listens to nothing but kvlt-as-fvck bestial black metal 99% of the time, and my suspicions were confirmed as you can see below...


10.   Selbst - An Ominous Landscape
A rising newcomer BM band from Venezuela.

9.   Herxsebet - Dí Ad Vermes
I have no doubt in Herxsebet.   True Mexican cult BM.







8.   Sad / Sarkistra - Fury of the Doomsday Apostles
Both elite bands' splits are amazing.



7.   Pimeydentuoja - The Devil's Epoch
Archgoat, Beherit, Teitanblood worship sound.   Blasphemous black death metal


6.   Initiation - A Ritual of Blood, a Pact of Ashes
Rising newcomer raw BM band from USA,   Highly-infused Drowning the Light, Mutiilation, Judas Iscariot, Sargeist, I think.



5.   Belkètre - Ryan Èvn-a
Long-awaited legendary French BM.   There was no disappointment.


4.   Osculum Infame - Axis of Blood

French elite BM horde.   Killer album, for sure.




3.   Drowning the Light - From the Abyss
DTL often releases albums, and most of the albums are great.   But this album is even more amazing.

2.   Vlad Tepes - The Drakksteim Sessions
Reissue of rare music.   The value is sufficient by itself.



1.   Mgła - Exercises in Futility
I have no doubt in this Polish band.   They are always right.







Mark Bruno (It Djents webzine)

Believe it or not, It Djents is so huge in South Korea that Mr. Bruno
really can't go anywhere without hordes of fans (mostly female,
of course) crowding around him and begging for a photo.   You can't
go anywhere with this guy!!

Same as Dan Orozco (Asia Metalhead), Mr. Bruno is a strong force (or at least a loud voice :D) in the crowd of local expat metalheads, and he also happens to be one of my best friends here in Korea as well!   Because he's a writer for It Djents, it's obvious that we don't always see eye to eye when it comes to metal (or pretty much anything else, for that matter!), but don't let that stop you from checking out his list over at It Djents!   Who knows, you may find an album or two that's halfway decent among whatever drivel he's thrown up there ;)
Check it out here: http://www.itdjents.com/from-the-staff/top-10-albums-of-the-year-its-bruno/

Norse Rage (ex-Groove Magazine contributor)

I have no idea what the fuck is going on in this picture, but
I think it's cool that his cat has a denim vest!!

Mr. Rage felt entitled to give us 11 instead of 10, as everyone who's seen This is Spinal Tap (1984) knows that 11 is ONE more than 10, and thus superior.   Also, he's a pretty big dude and could easily crush our heads like grapes and stuff our bodies into the nearest trash can.   Seriously though, Ian (what his parents call him whenever he manages to make it back home to good ol' North Carolina) is a super-cool dude and extremely knowledgeable about the Korean metal scene, as well as all things DOOM.


11.   Uncle Acid - The Night Creeper 
Yep.   Fuzzed out hymns to everything bad in the late 60’s.   Makes me wanna stab someone for a fucking bong rip.   Ugh.

10.   Thulcandra - Ascension Lost 
This is fucking Black Metal.   Although these guys are German, this sounds like straight mid-90’s era Dissection, but a bit more low end in the production.   Frosty, melodic, wind-swept, hate-filled.   Jon Andreas Nödtveidt and the MLO would be proud.



9.   Cattle Decapitation - The Anthropocene Extinction 
Deathgrind, on my list?!?!   You know these guys have come a long way.   I saw them in like 2000 with GWAR and they were just generic death metal but good.   This new shit is tight, super technical but not contrived.   Also his other “manic” vocals are one of a kind.   They show up at like 2:24 and at 4:00 in this track.

8.   Paradise Lost - The Plague Within
Holy shit this is heavy.   Never got into to hardly any of the “Peaceville 3” but these guys have dropped the bomb on what is cutting edge death/doom.   Not all gritty, there’s some soaring parts ala Type O here and there.   And a lot of Crowbar.

7.   Forgotten Tomb - Hurt Yourselves and the Ones you Love Italian...strangely!   Not much Italian stuff in my collection!   Hahaha (Sorry Emmanuele).....more black and roll than straight black metal.   Dirty, grimy, groovy, misanthropic.



6.   Ghost - Meloria 
Back from their sophomore slump, keeping the polished production but way more of those slick hooks we had on the debut.   Tight, catchy as hell 70’s occult metal.



5.   Shape of Despair - Monotony Fields 
Crushing glacial funeral doom.   Hahaha wow.   SO much atmosphere. Not for the casual doom fan that’s for sure.

4.   Nightfell - The Living Ever Mourn
This is ALSO FUCKING BLACK METAL!!!   Hahaha and doom/crust.   Some crust punks like Todd Burdette from Tragedy. Love the live feel of the drums.   Pummeling and jacked up without delving into noise ever.

3.   Arcturus - Arcturian 
Our favorite black metal space jesters return, with more artistry and not giving a fuck about being TROO than any other asshole in Norway.   I mean, if it's got ICS Vortex on clean vocals, how can it not kick total unrepentant ass? So glad to hear these fuckers again.



2.   Karyn Crisis' Gospel of the Witches - Salem's Wounds
How do you even describe this?   A blend of all heavy elements, but mostly moody, slow mournful, amazing clean female vocals and a hardcore punk angst at times. Low end by members of Immolation.   TOTALLY ORIGINAL, freshest release this year.

1.   Khemmis - Absolution
WOW. WOW. Yeah some doom, but mostly just heavy metal.   How often do you simply get to describe something as heavy metal these days?   Pentagram core, Pallbearer vocals, Thin Lizzy/Iron Maiden harmonies/leads. Hardcore group shoutouts.   This takes me back to 12 year-old Ian hearing Sabbath’s Paranoid the first time.   It does everything I want in heavy music.




Matt Ross (Fake the Future, Atlantic A.M.)

(taken from his Facebook page, reprinted here with permission)

Matt Ross is the fuckin' man.   Not only is the frontman for two rock bands (Fake the Future and Atlantic A.M.) here in Daejeon, South Korea, but he's also the GM for the new Vampire: the Requiem campaign I just joined.   Obviously, it kind of goes without saying that he's into metal as well.   Check out his list below to see what, in his opinion, were the top records this year to jam while knocking back a pint or two of blood...

10.   Wrong - Stop Giving
Given that Helmet’s recent records have left a lot to be desired, somebody had to go back and resuscitate what made their first few records so great. No, it’s not original, but damned if I didn’t listen to this EP so many times this year. Crushing tone, tight arrangements.

9.   Demon Lung - A Dracula 
A band to watch. They are heavy as hell, are tasteful with the atmospherics, and have a great vocalist. Anybody who makes a concept album based on the 70’s Mexican horror film Alucarda is cool in my book.



8.   With the Dead - With the Dead
Doom record of the year from some serious veterans coming together for a new project. Morbid and absolutely devastating in its heaviness, the way true doom must be.

7.   False - Untitled
Maybe the best USBM today for my money. Ambitious and progressive without overstaying their welcome. Somehow both tasteful and daring…a neat trick. 

6.   Deafheaven - New Bermuda 
Call me a hipster if you want but I had very little expectations for this record and I think I like it more than Sunbather by more than a little bit. I think this is the sound of a band with something to prove, namely that they aren't a flash in the pan, and I think New Bermuda makes a strong case that they've got good things ahead of them. Argue about their haircuts and Morrissey shirts all you want but there’s real weight here.

5.   Ghost - Meliora 
All hail the ABBA of heavy metal.

4.   Mutoid Man - Bleeder
These showoffs manage to keep me engaged throughout with their lightning fast riffs, off kilter rhythms, and alternately super poppy and melodic moments with their full on rages. A must for any Converge or Cave-In fan, obviously.

3.   Baroness - Purple 
Holy hell. I said I’d wait to post this list ‘til the new Baroness came out and boy was I shocked at its excellence, particularly after how much I disliked Yellow & Green, their last effort. Often gorgeous in the way the very best 70’s prog rock was capable of (when it was concerned with feel and emotion rather than just virtuosity), it is a record that is full of little twists and turns that are nonetheless satisfying and still sound like Baroness. When they go heavy, they go full battering ram to the midsection.



2.   Clutch - Psychic Warfare
All I had to do was hear X-Ray Visions once and it was all over for me.  I was in love. Even though I am so late to the Clutch party it’s sad it is clear to me that they are great geniuses and should be a much bigger act than they seem to be. This record was so good I bought a bunch of their old ones immediately and was likewise not disappointed. The riffs are so rockin’ and the lyrics are funny and strange and great. A clear dedication to great songcraft and the true weirdness of rock ‘n roll.

1.   Tribulation - Children of the Night
Hi, I’m Matt Ross, I’m 15 years old, I love Vampire: The Masquerade, I've been Dracula for Halloween about 8 times, and my favorite metal record of the year is Tribulation’s Children of the Night. Visual aesthetics aside, this record actually feels classically vampiric to me: seductive, threatening, and ominous. It’s also very fun and clearly doesn't take itself that seriously. Children of the Night is heavy on an atmosphere and is catchy as hell. We may have hit peak 70’s classic rock influence in metal here in 2015 but looking over my previous years’ lists, I can’t pretend I’m not a fan of this subgenre. It can be done well, and I think Tribulation has set a high bar with it.

Michael O'Dwyer (Seoul Film Club)
For whatever reason, Mr. O'Dwyer wasn't kvlt enough to give us a top 10, so we're sadly left with an awkward top 9.   However, he is, of course, still a die-hard metalhead and a total sweetie, so of course we were honored to have the privilege of sharing his list!   He even has some Korean metal in there as well!   Someone should probably tell him that the deal with Ghost not ACTUALLY changing singers and that it's just kind of a joke :p   Anyway, check out his picks below:

9.   Danzig - Skeletons   I'm going to admit that I really thought this album was going to be amazing. Just these insane maxed out rock/metal covers of Elvis Presley songs. I wasn't really impressed with the album and felt like he was trying too hard to sound like Elvis and it came across as an Elvis cover band than Danzig reinterpreting Elvis. The more I think about it, the more I'm disappointed with this album as the recording sounded sloppy and the songs just not inspired. I did like his version of "Satan" just for hearing Danzig work his "WHOOAAAA" into it.

8.  Method - Abstract 
Method is one of my favorite bands in and out of Korea. They've been on fire this past year and their new album is awesome! Just great fast, fun death thrash metal.

7.  Tribulation - Children of the Night
Melodic metal/Death Metal with downright catchy hooks! What the hell!?

6.   Marilyn Manson - The Pale Emperor
I know Marilyn Manson has taken to saying ridiculously stupid things in interviews in recent years. And he's put out a few stinkers of albums. But Pale Emperor is pretty goddamn good. Never gets as fast as a typical metal but he made a set of really intense, moody, dark songs that are great for listening at night when you can't sleep. Pale Emperor is probably his most mature, thoughtful album.

5.   Nekrogoblikon - Heavy Meta
NekroGoblin is great as they're an intense sludge/death metal band that can make fun intense songs and fun songs that have intelligent lyrics that tell a story. They deserve more recognition.

 4.   Chelsea Wolfe - The Abyss
This is another artist I was told about very recently. Very much ambient, experimental metal and I love it. It's all dark atmospheric. I love the cover art too, I'm trying to do some photography in the near future inspired by the album's cover art.)

3.   Windhand - Grief’s Infernal Flower 
I literally found out about this band and this album a few weeks ago and fell in love. It's just the sound and ambient metal I needed to hear this winter.

2.   Ghost - Meliora
I love this band. I love everything about it. I love that they concept albums, that they change the singers, and that's it's so theatrical. I love the love songs to Lucifer and just can't say enough great things about Ghost and the all the related projects the musicians from this band are in.

1.   Motörhead - Bad Magic
I kinda took Lemmy's death hard when I heard about it. My first metal concert I ever saw when I was 14 was Motörhead and Morbid Angel opening for Black Sabbath. Both those bands blew the hell out of Black Sabbath (they were in that phase between Ozzy and Dio, I don't know the name of the singer and was unimpressed after seeing Motörhead just annihilate the venue.

CONCLUSION

Well, that about wraps it up!   What did you think?   Too many lists?   Are you depressed because you missed out on so much great music, even though you probably spent the entire year thinking that THIS time around you were going to stay up to date??   Fill us in on your inner turmoil in the comments section!   Oh, and Kate MulDOOM, if you're reading this, I hope you have a great fucking night!!!! :p

Judge Dredd (left) and Wulf (right) - "Happier Times"

Phantoms of the Orient: An Evening with Vhan of Aek Gwi!!

This picture was taken from Vhan's recent attempt
at a black metal version of "to be, or not to be..."

I don't think I've seen the sun in days.   Maybe weeks.   This has actually been a pretty warm December so far here in a land known for its relatively cold winters.   It's already the middle of December, and so far it's just been kind of cold and wet outside (except for a brief snow flurry that immediately melted).   While I am excited for the inevitable onslaught of ice and snow (perfect for grim black metal, of course), I'm taking advantage of the current shitty weather situation by listening to a recent discovery in my exploration of Korean black metal-- a mysterious entity known as 厄鬼 (Aek Gwi).   The shadowy figure behind Aek Gwi is a veteran in the Korean black metal scene, and gone by several various pseudonyms, but currently he is known simply as Vhan.   Vhan has had quite a lot on his plate within the last few years.   Not only has he been involved in various other bands/projects in the past (besides Aek Gwi), but he also (up until a few months ago at the time of this writing) ran Misanthropic Art Productions (formerly known as The Black 666 Productions) and its sub-label, Berserk Ritual Productions, as well as running and doing artwork for Misanthropic Art Production's art and design team, Misanthropic Artworks (which, by the way, is some of the best metal artwork I've ever seen in my life!!!   Truly amazing stuff!!!   Oddly enough, he's also done some art and logos for various NSBM bands, but we won't get into that here).   I'm sure he also has a day job as well.   Busy dude!

As I was saying, I haven't seen the sun in days.   I can't tell if it's because it's just winter and an especially rainy time right now or if it's because of the insane amounts of pollution that China has allegedly been spewing all over East Asia (more so than usual), but the outside has either been dismal, cold, and wet, or just surreal, like right now where everything I can see outside my window in this sprawling Asian metropolis seems to have a strange yellow hue.   Anyway, it's the perfect setting for a Korean horror movie :)

Which brings us to Aek Gwi.   The latest album that was released earlier this year, Forest of Ghost (could have used a bit of editing with that title), is some really cool ritualistic black/doom metal, kind of similar to stuff by Nortt, Xasthur, Wormphlegm, Blood of the Black Owl, and maybe even Beherit as well.   I think I've talked about this before, but I remember truly realizing the potential of this kind of metal not just as some shit to listen to in a dark room in order to have a quasi-mystical experience (which I wholeheartedly support, don't get me wrong), but also as a killer soundtrack to play as a substitute soundtrack for movies as well.   I haven't done this for Aek Gwi yet (not sure which movie or film clip I would pick), but I know at least know for a fact that both Wormphlegm and Electric Wizard make excellent soundtracks to Conan the Barbarian (1982) and Häxan (1922), respectively.

When listening to this album, I feel like it's absolutely essential to isolate yourself in like your room or somewhere with all the lights out, making it as dark as possible, in order to really get the full experience.   Maybe even light a candle or something.   Next, put on your headphones or earbuds and allow your imagination to wander...

For me, I began to envision a scene which takes place during a rainy, warm summer night at a Buddhist temple in the middle of a forest somewhere in East Asia.   However, inside a strange, perhaps unorthodox, (un?)holy ritual is taking place, in which a small group of monks are attempting to either speak with and/or summon the spirits of the dead.   Eventually, the spirits are conjured forth, but they are malevolent and chaotic, and the monks there begin to chant and play the flute or maybe some other traditional musical instruments in order to try and control, or at least pacify, the spirits so that they can properly communicate.   As to what exactly is supposed to be gained from communicating with the dead in this particular situation is unknown, but the monks are hoping to perhaps at least receive some sort of message or (inevitably) nightmarish hallucination/vision.  At this point everyone is kind of subdued and on their own "trips", so to speak, as the spirits of the deceased communicate telepathically with them as the temple walls and roof creak and groan due to the heavy wind that has recently picked up (despite the fact that they're in the middle of the woods).            
Interview conducted via internet in December 2015.


Interview:

WULF: Who are you?   Please give us a brief history of Aek Gwi.   What does "Aek Gwi" mean?   Why do you use Hanja and not Hangul when writing the band name?

VHAN:  Greetings!   First of all, thanks for the interview.   I think this is the first interview for Aek Gwi.   The band name "Aek Gwi" is written "액귀" in Korean and "厄鬼" or "縊鬼" in Chinese (edit: maybe he's talking about this?  I'm not sure), which is a ghost associated with suicide in Chinese mythology as well as from the Korean novel Toji.   It's a ghost which brings you misfortune.   In Chinese mythology, the 縊鬼 seeks vengeance or revenge and will drive you to kill yourself by hanging when it appears to you.

WULF:  Is Forest of Ghost a concept album?   Thematically, I imagine this album is about ghosts, death, etc.   Is it about any ghost stories or metaphors in particular?   What were you hoping to accomplish with this album?   What is the message?

VHAN:  There is no message with the album.   I just made the "Forest of Ghost" album like a horror movie.   I want to expose the concept of Asian ghosts to other people in the world.   In the East, these ghosts are more scary than vampires, zombies, or Satan.   That's why I chose these ghost mythologies as the concept for my black metal music (joke).  


WULF:  Are you interested in Korean ghost stories?   What is your opinion on Korean and/or Asian horror movies in general?   I just watched A Tale of Two Sisters (장화, 홍련) (2013) and thought it was a great movie!!

VHAN:  Honestly, I don't like Korean ghost movies or stories that much, because they're really boring and generic/played-out.   There are a lot more bad horror movies than good ones.   There are also ghost stories on the internet too that are obviously fake, and I fucking hate that.   So personally, I prefer classic Western horror movies over the Korean ones.   For me, I was really impressed by the Korean movie 혈의 누 (Blood Rain), which is actually not a horror movie.   The music of Aek Gwi is influenced by the TV series 전설의 고향 (Ghost Stories).   It's also a classic Korean horror novel which I read when I was young.   The concept of the music of Aek Gwi is also from the Korean folk story 장화, 홍련 (The Story of Janghwa and Hongryeon).

WULF:  Why did you close your label and your art production and stop doing all your other bands besides Aek Gwi?   What happened?

VHAN:  I already have mentioned about my financial situation (as the reason why I had to stop) on Facebook and my label's website; my domestic economical situation isn't good. My income has been in bad shape and rent has been rising.  Realistically, I couldn't keep the black metal label as my primary job in Korea.   I've stopped making music temporarily and sold my instruments to make cash, but I will never give up.  That's why I don't do the music now.   As for my other band, Origin of Plague, I went back over the music and felt like the music was pretty shit, so that's why I want to compose again.   As for Aek Gwi, I'm still writing music for that.   If I have some extra time or money then I'll record more music.   As for my artwork, I don't have enough time and there are so many people who are better artists than me, so I feel like "what's the point?"   So I don't get any orders for artwork, and also I just want to have the freedom to draw what I want, not for a job.

WULF:   Has Aek Gwi ever played live, or is this something that you are interested in for the future?

VHAN:  It's important for bands to play live, but I'm not going to have a live show because I don't want to be around people.

This is the artwork for that upcoming split he's talking about
with 头发河 (Harrfluss), Begräbnis, 纳骨堂 (Ossuary),
 and, of course, Aek Gwi.

WULF:  Do you believe in ghosts, or have you ever seen a ghost?   What is your opinion on death, the possibility of an afterlife, etc.?   Do you fear death?

VHAN:  It would be a lie if I said I'm not afraid of death.   I've also never seen a ghost in real life, but I've had my own strange experiences.   I kind of believe in the existence of spirits, but not necessarily 100%.

WULF:  Is there any literature you would recommend for your fans to check out which can help us understand your music better?   What books or writings have influenced your music and/or your life?

VHAN:  I already answered this question earlier.   If you want to understand the concept of my music, you can see the TV series 전설의 고향.   I think my earlier music isn't good because I was drinking and didn't make enough of an effort, but now that I'm making more down-tempo music and I'm influenced by Beherit, Goatlord, Nortt, Teeth of the Lions Rule the Divine, Enemite, and Hellhammer.   I'm most influenced by the Chinese dark ambient band Enemite.   This is the band that I respect the most.   It shows us what Oriental horror is in a truly extreme way.   Not long ago, Dani of Goatwarex suggested I do a split with the black metal artists Harrfluss (project of Li Chao), Aek Gwi, Begräbnis (from Japan) and 纳骨堂 (Ossuary).   I think this opportunity doesn't come that often, especially with the best Chinese metal label, Goatwarex, so I'm really happy about that.

WULF:  What are your plans for the future? Why did you decide to stop Misanthropic Art Productions and Misanthropic Artworks? Do you have any plans to revive your other bands or start new bands?

VHAN:  I don't know about any future plans.   I just have a really busy life, and maybe for some while I can't do black metal because of my work.   The first thing for me is living a normal life.   Maybe you know this if you live in Korea.

WULF:  Those are all the questions I have, thanks so much for the interview! Any final comments?

Thanks for the fun questions, there's nothing else that I want to add.

Edit:  Of course, before I finished writing this article, it started to snow, which kind of ruined the whole eerie, mysterious vibe I was going for.  Now it's just an absolutely beautiful winter wonderland outside and makes me want to listen to some majestic frosty black metal or something.   Anyway, winter is no longer coming, it's here!! :D   

Special thanks to Gumiho (구미호) for help with the translation!

Listen and support Aek Gwi's music: https://aekgwi.bandcamp.com/
Keep updated about Aek Gwi: https://www.facebook.com/aekgwi

Interview with Bestial Desekrator of Sexual Fornications and Goetic Ritual of Nocturnal Damnation!!

Interview conducted via email in August, 2014.   

Thanks to Gumiho (구미호) for the translation from Korean to English.

It took fucking forever to get this interview done, which was entirely my fault.   Anyway, there's been a few updates since this interview took place- at the time of this writing, Goatphomet is on hold since earlier this year, and Nocturnal Damnation has acquired a new member, Patiwat (Zygoatsis, Masochist), a well-known figure in the Thai underground black/death metal scene.   Also, Nocturnal Damnation released a split with Goatchrist666, "A Domination of Tyrant's Necro-sodomy", earlier this year through Inhuman Assault Productions.

Listen and support Nocturnal Damnation's music: https://nocturnaldamnation.bandcamp.com/

Keep updated about Nocturnal Damnation's music:  https://www.facebook.com/OfficialNocturnalDamnation/

Check out Nocturnal Damnation's official website:  http://goatwar.egloos.com/

WULF:  It seems like you're in two bands right now, Nocturnal Damnation and Goatphomet.   Tell us a bit about these bands.   Also, why did you change the name of your old band, Adokhsiny, to Goatphomet?   And what does "Adokhsiny" mean, exactly?

Bestial Desekrator

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL:  Hails (Wulf)! It is a pleasure to do this interview with you.   Simply saying, Nocturnal Damnation and Goatphomet are Black/Death Metal bands, but stylistically both bands are quite different.   Nocturnal Damnation is bestial black/death metal influenced by Blasphemy, Black Witchery, Sarcofago, Beherit (old), Goatpenis, Naked Whipper, and Bestial Warlust, and Goatphomet plays ritualistic black/death similar to Goatlord, Archgoat, Teitanblood, Nocturnal Blood, Void Medication Cult, Sperm of Antichrist, Embrace of Thorns.   The reason why I changed Adokhsiny's band name to Goatphomet is because I wanted the name to be more black/death metal-sounding.   I thought about it a lot, and it just wasn't the style that I wanted even though I wanted to play black/death metal when I reformed Adokhsiny.   As for the name, Adokhsiny means "Ancient Korean ghost name" (edit:  I still don't know what he's talking about here)!

Patiwat

WULF:  On all of Nocturnal Damnation's records, the instruments are played by Infernal Saviour of Nuclear Onslaught and Warmageddon, from Spain.   How did you meet this guy, and why did you decide to collaborate with him?   As for Goatphomet, it looks like you're in that band with fellow members Nuclear Vaginaliax and Rotten Clitorias Vengeance and H. Goatkommander.   Are these current members Korean as well?   The reason why I ask is because the former members of Adokhsiny were originally Koreans, but eventually the Korean members left and you were joined by members from other countries (such as Devoured and Tormentized from Malaysia, and Obispo from The Phillipines).   How did you meet these guys?   Wasn't it difficult to write music with members in different countries?  

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL:  I remember that I knew about Infernal Saviour coincidentally.   At that time I ran an underground label that he wanted to release his album through, and I thought this was a good idea.   So I released two of his albums, and then we started to talk about many things.   I asked him to help me with Nocturnal Damnation, and he agreed.   That's how we started recording together.   So I think that the reason we worked together is because we wanted to help each other, but now he's not in the band.   Honestly, I don't want to talk about Infernal Saviour because he's not a member anymore.   On the internet, there's a lot of bad gossip or rumors about me and my band, so I don't want to talk about him anymore.   As for Nuclear Vaginaliax and Rotten Clitorias Vengeance, he's Korean, and H. Goatkommander is a member of the Peruvian black/thrash metal band Hell Torment.   He helped me as a session musician on Goatphomet's demo.   As I told you, knowing about friends from other countries is because I ran an underground label, so I helped them with the releases of their albums.   I wasted a few years seeking band members in Korea, so I gave up having Korean members.   This is one of the reasons why I work with foreigners.   There is some inconvenience working on music this way in Korea but I'm used to it by now, so it's not that hard for me.

WULF:   You've said before that you don't really associate with the rest of the bands in the Korean metal scene.   Why?   Are there any worthwhile bands that you DO associate with or recommend checking out?   Also, since the Korean metal scene is so bad, where you like to be instead?

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL:   I used to hang out with Korean bands around 2002-2003, when I was younger.   I was just beginning to play music.   Honestly, I still haven't met people or bands here that suit my musical tastes.   There are so many trendy bands in Korea, and they just aren't my style, so it's hard to hang out with Korean bands for me.   But also, I don't have much interest in this kind of music, such as metalcore, melodic death, post-thrash, slam, brutal death, melodic black metal, etc.   So I don't feel any necessity to check out these kinds of Korean metal bands.   Sometimes I check out new Korean bands, but they're usually just metalcore or melodic death, or it's just news about new music by (popular Korean metal bands such as) Sahon, Oathean, Silent Eye, Method, etc., so I don't have much interest in this.   But if there's a really good black/death metal band with an underground aesthetic, then I'd love to support them.   But I'm afraid that I haven't seen that kind of band yet (Kalpa is/wasgood, even though they're a different style from my music, but I still feel like I'd like to listen to them if they released a new album).   Honestly, I've always thought that I'd rather work on music or tour in Germany, Italy, USA, Brazil, Peru, Colombia, etc. than in Korea.   

WULF:  Obviously, you use dark and violent imagery in your music and artwork.   How much of a role does Satanism or a belief in the occult play in your everyday life?   Is there a specific philosophy or spiritual belief system you adhere to?   At what point in your life did you begin to explore "the dark side of life" (the Left Hand Path).   Finally, is there any literature of other non-musical art that you find particularly meaningful or influential?

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL:  Well... I'm actually an atheist! I don't believe in Satan but when I write lyrics I'm influenced by Satanism, occultism, demonology... It's a musical theme rather than my personal life philosophy.   I'm not a philosopher so it's not easy to explain about specific philosophies, but I adhere to the philosophies of Johan Wolfgang von Goethe and Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche.   Actually my life has not been smooth, and I haven't been happy since my early school days.   So because I was always alone I began to search for extreme metal music.   I like books or movies about Satanism, the occult, and they inspire me (as well as Johan Wolfgang von Goethe's "Faust", Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche's "Also Sprach Zarathustra", "Anti-Christ" and occult horror films such as "Alucarda", "The Devils", "The Exorcist", "The Devil's Rain", "Escalofrio (Satan's Blood)".... and plus "Devils Inside Her"(1977 Adult horror, hahaha).   I want to read books about demonology but it's hard to find these books in Korean, so I just do research and read about this on the internet even though it's still hard to understand completely.

WULF: On the other hand, I'm sure you have some guilty pleasures as well in terms of music.   I know you probably have lots of violent, bestial war metal in your record collection, but what is the most embarrassing album you own or enjoy listening to?   For example, I'm a huge fan of Celtic Frost's "Cold Lake", even though it's considered by many to be one of the worst metal albums of all time.

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL:  Well, I've already sold the albums that I think are the worst, so I don't have any records that are embarrassing in my collection.   But some albums made me disappointed or embarrassed.   I'm a huge fan of Morbid Angel but "Illud Divinum Insanus" record was one of the worst albums so I was really embarrassed, but on the other hand it's kind of fun/funny.   Their earlier albums and demos are classics, but their recently albums are really disappointing, so I don't listen to them anymore.   I think the it's better to listen to earlier stuff like German thrash legends Kreator, Destruction, Sodom, and Celtic Frost, too.   It's better for me to listen to the records that I have or bestial black/death, black/thrash, old school death/thrash, or NWOBHM, rather than listening to theerrible albums.

WULF:  The West is terrified of North Korea.  While it's obvious that most South Koreans don't give much of a shit about North Korea and all of their empty threats and war-mongering, no one can deny that the North Korean people are pretty isolated from the rest of the world.   I would assume that most Western music is forbidden, especially something as volatile as heavy metal...similar to how things were for the Eastern Bloc countries dominated by the Soviet Union in the 1980's.   My question is, if you had the chance to perform a live show there, would you do it?   If so, how do you think the people would react to your music?   I know this is completely unrealistic, but I think it's an interesting scenario to think about.

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL: It's a fun question, but I don't like to talk about politics.   It's true that Koreans don't care and North Korea bans Western music, but I'm not interested in North Korea and usually it's about the politics.   So even if there was a chance to perform in North Korea, I'm not that interested.   Also, I think the people in North Korea wouldn't react well.   I'd rather just kick that pig Kim Jong-un's ass instead, that would be more fun hahaha.

WULF:  What are your plans for the future of your bands?   Any new releases coming up?   What about live performances?   What do you hope to accomplish with your bands?

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL:  Currently Nocturnal Damnation is working on new songs with a new member.  I'm planning on releasing a split 7" and an EP, but I haven't found a label yet.   Goatphomet is planning to work on new music this fall or winter, but I'm not sure.   I really want to perform live, but I can't because I don't have any members here to play with.   If I can, I'd rather perform Southeast Asia or Europe than South Korea.   And I want to show that Nocturnal Damnation and Goatphomet are not just studio-only bands (I don't like studio, one-man bands!!!!).

WULF:  That's all the questions I have.   Any final comments are yours...

BESTIAL DESEKRATOR OF SEXUAL FORNICATIONS AND GOETIC RITUAL: Hail the Goat!!!   Death to false!!!

Black Metal Banchan - Part 2: Oathean + Doritos

For Round 2 of the Black Metal Banchan (if you don't know what banchan is, here's the Wikipedia link for it you lazy fuck :D).   Anyway, I chose this name for the series because it's fairly similar to, say, the classy smorgasbord (Sweden), the potpourri (France), or even the all-you-eat Chinese buffet of gluttony and self-loathing (USA).   There's a wide variety of food, and something for everyone!   Talking about black metal and snacks together are similar to this same concept, in that they go together quite well and you're bound to find something that you like, whether it's a certain band, a certain snack, or a combination of the two together!   I don't know about you guys, but for me personally, I love come homing home, immediately stripping down to my underwear, and putting on some black metal while enjoying a nice snack.   So who knows?!  You may just discover your new favorite snack and/or black metal band by following me on my journey deep into the mysterious heart of both the black metal AND snack scenes here in good ol' South Korea!!  

When I played Diablo for the first time (I think I was about
10 or 11), I remember being so scared to go into that monastery.
You just knew there was a bunch of evil shit in there waiting
to kick your ass.   I can't believe I didn't shit my pants when I
encountered The Butcher that first time.   Anyway, the
Tristram theme may quite possibly be my favorite song
from a video game of all time!

Last time, we talked about two classics- one was a classic Korean black metal band (Sad Legend), and the other was a classic snack (Cheetos).   This time, we're going to talk about two more classics:  arguably Korea's most popular black metal band thus far, Oathean, and arguably the most popular snack chips in the world (Doritos).   Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking.   Wulf, when are we going to actually delve into the KVLT Korean snacks and black metal???   Why are you playing it safe and just sticking to the obvious stuff?  Well, just you wait!   Just like in Diablo (or seemingly any RPG really), you start off with what's familiar and easy before eventually journeying deeper and deeper into the ominous dungeon below the abandoned monastery outside of town.   

Oathean - The Eyes of Tremendous Sorrow (1998)

Interesting album cover, but I have absolutely no idea what's
supposed to be going on here.   Seriously!   Google
it or take a closer look and try to figure out what the deal is.
Anyway, it's still a cool cover, even if it is kind of weird.

Coming out the same year as their black metal brethren Sad Legend's (see previous post in this series) debut album, Oathean instead take a different, more death-metal and folk inspired approach to their brand of melodic black metal.   However, there are some similarities as well, such as the melodramatic, mournful guitar-driven melodies, the atmospheric keyboards,   What really makes this album stand out are the inclusion of traditional Korean folk instruments, such as the daegeum.   Unfortunately, I'm not entirely sure if the band was able to find someone who was able to successfully translate the song titles into proper English, so you're stuck with song titles like "Transparent Blue Light, So Too Much Tearful", "In Fear With Shiver", and my personal favorite, "The Rotten Egg Smell Stuck on My Belly".
ESL song titles aside, the music itself is quite well done!

I'm pretty sure this is an older pic of Oathean, but I
don't know if it's the same lineup as the one on
"The Eyes of Tremendous Sorrow".

Both Sad Legend and Oathean made their debuts in what is still considered a tiny metal scene (and played black metal, at that), so, with the exception of Scandinavia and Finland, we would all understand if these records were garbage.   Obviously, they're not at the same level as, say, "In the Nightside Eclipse" or "De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas", but the quality is quite good considering that before these albums came out, there was very little in the way of a Korean black metal (or extreme metal, for that matter) scene.

A good representation of what this album is all about can be found in the song "In Fear With Shiver" (haha it's hard to even write that with a straight face), which contains a lot of really interesting stuff.   Adventurous, wintry melodies, a sorrowful acoustic guitar and daegeum accompaniment, Kim Do-su's raspy howl that reminds me of a wounded, dying wolf...it's a really interesting song!   Below I've posted a live version, and you can see how they replaced the daegeum part with their female vocalist (Lim Ji-nah) singing the melody instead, which is kind of cool.   Also, check out Kim Do-su's passionate vocal performance as well, especially at the end!



I feel like maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I'm starting to notice that these Korean black metal bands seem to be channeling the feeling of han (see my last post, and/or Wikipedia for a brief mention of what han is) in their music.   Yeah, I know that ALL black metal bands are attempting to channel these feelings of depression, isolation, hopelessness, etc. in their music, but the fact that Koreans straight up have a unique word that captures all these emotions/mental states (Sad Legend even have a song named after it) perhaps makes it worthy of at least briefly discussing or mentioning.    Remember, these albums were coming out in the late 1990s, before the whole DSBM (Depressive Suicidal Black Metal) trend became all the rage.   In the '90s, black metal was all about Satan, blasphemy, and misanthropy.   While I highly doubt these Korean black metal bands had any influence on the early DSBM artists and trendsetters, there's something to be said for this original, "sad" take on black metal.   I'm not entirely sure what the lyrics are to this album, but they're definitely coming from a dark place in the lyricist's psyche, and you can hear it in the music.   Pretty cool, and definitely an overlooked, unique detail in attempting to understand Korean black metal.   As I'm writing this, I just checked back on an Oathean video interview with ROKrock (a now seemingly defunct Korean rock/metal site) conducted a couple years ago, and it looks like the interview touched on this (han is mentioned) a bit as well, in that the first album especially feels very "Korean".   If you're interested, check it out!

Anyway, I have no idea what the band is up to these days, as I guess there's been a bunch of drama and turmoil in the Oathean camp as of late.   I probably shouldn't go into the details in this post (for now, at least), but as of this writing I'd say the status of the band is unknown.   Too bad, as many would argue that they're probably the best, or at least the most popular, Korean extreme metal band.

Recommended tracks:  "In Fear With Shiver", "The Eyes of Tremendous Sorrow", and "Punishment of Being Alone, Its Cruel Strength Breaks Me Away".

OK, enough dorky black metal chat!   Let's talk snacks!

Doritos Mango Salsa

I had to take a picture of these myself because
apparently they're so obscure that they failed
to show up in image searches for BOTH
Google and Naver.  That's how you know
I'm really bringing you the true underground of
the snack scene here in Korea.

OK, now these are seriously funky.   Possibly the strangest chip I've ever tasted, honestly, and I really can't decide if I like it or not.   At first it has this really cool salty, sweet (mango flavor), slightly spicy, zesty lime flavor if that makes any sense at all.   However, after a couple seconds it gets pretty sweet, and the aftertaste is kind of gross.   After waiting a bit, the sweetness goes away and you're left with a mild spicy kick that lingers for awhile.   Yeah, kind of like the Cheetos Honey Cheese I talked about in the last post, these wouldn't be too bad if they weren't so fucking sweet.   Bleh, yeah overall I'm not feeling these at all.   They started off quite tasty, though!
5.5/10

Doritos Nacho Cheese 

I'm pretty sure these are the same as the American nacho
cheese ones, they taste exactly the same.   Unfortunately,

I didn't take this picture, just found it on
Google.   As you can tell, Doritos at this time
were promoting the new Avengers movie, so
each of the different bags had different
Avengers characters on them.   I guess this
Captain America's go-to snack of choice, except
I imagined he'd be more of a Jacked Ranch Dipped
Hot Wings guy.   Oh well, maybe just in Korea?

these are as good as it gets here in Korea.   Also, these are the hardest to find as well, or at least it seems that way.   Most convenience or grocery stores only carry like the honey chili flavor (ugh) or the Cool Ranch, which is fine.   However, I guess it's kind of the same complaint I had about the lack of an original Cheetos flavor available...when you're in the mood for just some good ol' cheesy corn chips/snacks, it always seems like are out of the question.   In fact, I could just be getting paranoid, but I'm pretty sure all of the convenience stores near me just straight up discontinued carrying Doritos altogether!   I've obviously been in this country too long because A) I actually noticed that they stopped stocking Doritos, and B) I'm seriously considering writing to Frito-Lay and/or Lotte (who I guess is in charge of Doritos production in South Korea or something) to tell them that these flavors are wack!   Haha I doubt they'll listen to me or even respond, but who knows?!  I may even get some insider info about upcoming Doritos snacks.   Maybe they'll even put ME on the cover of the Doritos bag!!   Yes, that's it!!  I'll be famous!!!!  MONEY!!!  WOMEN!!!!  POWER!!!! IT WILL ALL BE MINE!!!!!!
8/10

Doritos Honey Chili

Starting to notice a pattern with the
packaging?     

While the traditional Doritos corn chip taste is there and I dig the mildly spicy chili flavor, unfortunately I feel like the honey taste is also slightly too strong and makes for a weird combination, aftertaste, and lingering flavor on your lips that you can taste if you lick them.   Yeah after awhile these taste fairly funky, but definitely not as weird/bad as the mango salsa one.   Still not as good as the typical nacho cheese flavor that you'd find anywhere in the US.   However, you'll find THESE anywhere they sell Doritos, especially to capitalize on the whole "honey butter" craze that's been all the rage here these past couple of years, although apparently everyone's starting to get sick of it now (thank fuck...I've never been a fan).
6.5/10

Doritos Cool Ranch
This is actually kind of interesting from a psychological perspective.   When I first came to Korea, I didn't really pay attention to the Doritos flavors because I guess I just never really saw them on sale, and when I did I think I tried maybe the honey chili flavor and wasn't very impressed.   Anyway, at one point I was really hungry and happened to be in a convenient store that had some Doritos in stock, but my only choices were the honey chili flavor and then some other flavor that looked like mayonnaise or something (Cool Ranch, obviously) but I think I must have been in a hurry because I didn't really pay attention to what flavor they were, other than I knew that they weren't the honey chili and so they were most likely a better flavor.   Upon trying them, I remember later being kind of disappointed...until I realized halfway through the bag that the front of the bag did indeed say "cool ranch" (in Hangul, "쿨렌치"), but since it was in Hangul I guess I just didn't bother reading it and just went by the mayonnaise/cream picture underneath it as an indicator of the flavor they were going for.

I took this pic, but I have no idea why it looks
almost like a black and white picture.   The
bag has just a weird color I guess, plus the
lighting in my room is awful.

Anyway, I felt like a moron, because back home I of course would have no problem eating Cool Ranch Doritos.   So was I not that into these because of the different packaging, or are they actually inferior to American Cool Ranch Doritos?   Personally, I'm going to go with the latter.   I'm eating them right now, and even though it's been years since I've eaten the American version of the Cool Ranch Doritos, I'm pretty sure the Korean version is the same.   So yeah, that's kind of interesting, I suppose!   Or maybe I'm just losing my mind.
7.5/10

There were actually a few other flavors it looks like I missed the boat on.   One of them I never got a chance to try (Yogurt-flavored Doritos, (huh?!)), and the others (Doritos B.O.M.B. (I guess similar to Roulette which you guys had in the States?) and Extreme Barbecue (Korean-style, of course!)) I'm pretty sure got pulled from production awhile ago because I haven't seen them on sale for a long time.   Anyway, sorry I missed those!   As a gesture of conciliation, here's the Korean commercial for Doritos B.O.M.B.:



Going to be interesting to see how Doritos play out in Korea in the future.   These current flavors just aren't going to cut it.   I have no idea about the numbers so I could be full of shit, but for what it's worth, I never see Koreans eating Doritos (or Cheetos, for that matter).   Frito-Lay and/or Lotte need to step up their game, because I know these could be huge here!

Black Metal Banchan - Part 1: Sad Legend + Cheetos

Metal magazines and websites always talk about metal and beer, but what about metal and SNACKS?   Yeah, I know that anyone who listens to the excellent (and my favorite) podcast Illogical Contraption knows that they always do a snack chat segment during their show, but I always feel like I'm missing out on all the good stuff they're talking about because I'm not in the US right now!   Well, I've decided to make matters into my own hands by not just doing my own snack chat (with local Korean snacks since that's where I'm living at the moment), but also making it relevant to metalheads the world over by exploring the mysterious realm of the Korean black metal underground.   Obviously, Korea doesn't have a world-famous METAL scene at all, let alone a black metal one, but that doesn't mean there are some hidden gems lurking amidst the shadows...

Sad Legend - Sad Legend (1998)

First of all, that's a pretty cool album cover.   Yeah it looks a bit amateurish, and the Sad Legend logo is lame as fuck, but it definitely makes sense when you listen to the music itself.   Even if you didn't know this album was by a Korean band, this still feels kind of "exotic" or unique.   Being both atmospheric and melodic, it's kind of reminds me of like old-school Graveworm or something like that (even though most of Graveworm's stuff actually came out after this album was released).   Anyway, what's cool about this album is that it's absolutely drenched in gloomy keyboards, wailing female vocals, haunting male clean vocals, enchanting melodies, and mournful guitar leads, with all the other typical characteristics of the genre such as rasps, blastbeats, etc.  It all feels very late '90s and slightly dated, but I feel like that's part of its charm.

I really wish I could provide a link to their Bandcamp or something, but I have a feeling this CD is long out of print (it's going for between $55-$200 on Amazon right now!) and the band seems to be currently inactive.   Maybe it's on iTunes?   I don't know.   Anyway, you can find it on Youtube (sounds like a low quality upload, but whatever), so check it out if you want!

Sad Legend - classic lineup

The cover art also perfectly captures the mood, I'd say.   I feel like overall thematically what they're going for is represented in the title of the first track, "Han".   In this case, I believe what han is referring to is the Korean phenomenon of a kind of collective feeling or consciousness of the Korean people who constantly feel "oppression and isolation in the face of insurmountable odds (the overcoming of which is beyond the nation's capabilities on its own). It connotes aspects of lament and unavenged injustice" (Wikipedia).

I'm not exactly sure which incarnation
of Sad Legend this is, but thought it
was a fun pic so I decided to include it.

While the validity of this as an actual psychological phenomenon is questionable, my Korean girlfriend (her Malicious Intent black metal horde name is Gumiho) assures me that it's a real thing.   I feel like the music definitely seems to capture that emotion.   While it would have been cool for the band to maybe incorporate some traditional Korean instrumentation or something to further drive this concept home as "authentically Korean" or whatever, I think it's still really cool the way it is.   Anyway, even though I don't really listen to this kind of music anymore, I still found this to be a good album and worth checking out if you're interested in Korean metal or you're looking for some melodramatic, misty-forest-under-a pale-moon-at-midnight melodic black metal.

Your typical cheonyeo gwishin, being all creepy.
If you wake up in the middle of the night to find
THIS standing in the middle of your room,
you may be in trouble.

Also, I could be mistaken, but the woman on the cover reminds me of a cheonyeo gwishin (virgin ghost), a spirit that is commonly featured in many East Asian ghost stories, and, nowadays, movies.   If you've ever seen the American remakes of like Ringu (The Ring) or Ju-on (The Grudge), you'll know what I'm talking.   The girl/woman with the dirty long hair over her face, batshit insane facial expression, and contorted body lurching towards you?   That's a cheonyeo gwishin.   She may not look so bad on the album cover, but just do a quick google image search to see the actual face they have hiding under that creepy mane.   I wouldn't advise you to do this before attempting to go to sleep for the night.  

 Recommended tracks: "Han", "Dawn of Despair", and "Realm of the Soulless".  

Korean Cheetos

Surprisingly, this music seemed to go rather well with the snacks I'll be talking about tonight.   "Why?" you may ask.   Because we're talking about a legendary snack that's in a sad state of affairs right now here in The Land of the Morning Calm.   Korea, we need to talk about your Cheetos situation.   The trend right now is to have everything be honey-butter flavored or sweet and salty, and Korean Cheetos are no exception.   For one, everyone knows that Cheetos should be cheesy, or at least have that option should you want just some good ol' original Cheetos.   However, in Korea, sadly, you don't have that option unless you go to an international mart or something.   From what I've seen at least, you unfortunately only have three flavors to choose from on a regular basis: BBQ, Spicy & Sweet, and Honey Cheese (ugh).   

"Spicy" and Sweet

Let's start with the Spicy & Sweet first.   Honestly, it kind of sucks.   There's too strong of an imbalance with the taste, with it being too sweet and not spicy or salty enough.   In fact, if I didn't know that it was supposed to be spicy in the first place I wouldn't have even noticed.   If you thought maybe you wouldn't be able to handle it because you're in Korea (they love their spicy food!), not to mention also the fact that Chester Cheeto himself is belching flames on the front of the packaging, I can strongly assure you that your mouth will be fine.   It even has spicy peppers and garlic too on there, presumably to emphasize its heat!  C'mon guys!
5/10

BBQ...I have no idea what the fuck is supposed to be
going on in this artwork.

Next up is the BBQ.   First of all, this should be amazing because Korean BBQ kicks ass and is one of the best ways to spend an evening with your bros.   In fact, one of the best things about Korean metal shows is that afterwards everyone (bands and their fans) goes out for BBQ afterwards, all the while drinking plenty of Korean beer and gross soju (we'll talk about those another time).   Anyway, a slam dunk for Cheetos right?   Wrong!!  This shit is fucking wack, especially if you compare it to how great Korean BBQ is!   The Cheetos version of Korean BBQ is completely underwhelming- it has a weak taste, it's too sweet, and doesn't really taste like BBQ at all.   It kind of reminds me of like a shitty version of American BBQ chips or something.   It just doesn't really leave much of an impression, other than "blah".   Koreans deserve a Cheetos snack that truly represents what Korean BBQ is all about!   That moksal (pork chop) grilling on the packaging is false advertising!
5.5/10

Finally, we have the dreaded Honey Cheese...

...actually...these aren't too bad!   I spoke too soon!   I had assumed that they were going to be garbage because of the previous two disappointments, but these are surprisingly decent!   They're still a bit too sweet, but at least you can actually kind of taste the traditional Cheetos cheese flavoring or whatever insane chemical shit they use to get Cheetos to taste the way they do.   However, they're still too sweet (too much honey flavoring) and not salty or cheesy enough, and I find myself enjoying it less and less the more I eat.   But then again...ahhh! I don't know what to think, can't make up my mind.   I just wish there was, at the very least, a regular, original Cheetos option.   Anyway, this is arguably the least offensive of the bunch.
6.5/10

In The Beginning...There Was METAL

The following is the retelling of the early days of Malicious Intent on KJHK re-imagined as mythical lore, and was provided by previous MI DJ, Nietch.

The Bible of Malicious Intent Book Two: The Era of Nietch As told by the scribe Witgen 

VERSE 1: It was a dark time in the land of Jayhawks. For no metal was to be had by those with a radio dial. Children wept as parents curled into balls on the floor, unable to muster the hope they needed to get through yet another cloudy day. Tales were told of a show called Malicious Intent, but it was nothing but legend. Most had never even known of its existence. But the legends also told of a prophecy, that one day a man with long hair and acne, garnered in a brown leather jacket, would call forth to the deep. The deep where darkness feeds, Vikings drink, demons dance, and blood rains. One man did rise from the ashes. This was a man of wisdom, strength and fortitude. He was hit by a bus. A woman rose up, but she was into punk so took over the punk show. But then, then! A man named Nietch stepped forward. The rituals were performed. Arms were slashed, but immediately mended because that shit hurts. Ancient texts were poured over to find others means of ritual. Finally, one was found that would work. The one known as an application form. Papers were signed and behold, Malicious Intent was born again in the spring term of the 97th year of the 20th century. 

VERSE 2: It was a wonderful time to behold, the late 90s. Cradle of Filth, Neurosis, Soulfly, Flesh Parade, Fu Manchu, In Flames, The Esoteric, Wormwood, and more, so very many more, graced the airwaves. Interviews with the likes of GWAR, Therion, Megadeth, Clutch, Machine Head, and more were experienced. Sometimes in a men’s bathroom. 

VERSE 3: Soon, Nietch was joined by a man who flat out refused to ever take a hint and leave. This man was Mean Dean. Their wit and witticisms and super duper clever bantering banter made the airwaves tremble and stuff. 

VERSE 4: But not all was well. The Underarm Music Show, another specialty program, was jealous of Malicious Intent. The show’s Reverend played music born from the sweatiest, most unwashed pits known to man. Obviously there was a lot of overlapping of bands between the two shows. Nietch and Mean Dean were happy for the Reverend, for the spreading of metal, any metal, no matter how vile its stench, is to be welcomed with open arms and unclogged nostrils. Alas, the Reverend did not see it this way. He did besmirch Malicious Intent and Nietch. Mean Dean went live on The Underarm to protect Nietch’s valor while Nietch drank whiskey and watched Tick cartoons. A battle more amazing than the Two Towers and Return of the King transpired, one which has been told by greater poets than I. In the end, it was for naught. Mean Dean was slain. Upon hearing the news, Nietch went to bed, for it was late. The next day he went about his business. And the same for the next several days. But when Mean Dean failed to show up for Malicious Intent, Nietch remembered that a gaggle of Goth girls with daddy issues could be found in any coffee shop. Once Mean Dean had quenched his loins behind a bush spying on them he would come, pun most certainly intended. Then Mean Dean’s severed head was found. It was not in a box. Made a heck of a mess, I tell you. And did Nietch even try to clean it up, take as much as a used tissue to it? You tell me. No, just leave it to sweater vest wearing Witgen to handle such matters. And the stench – Sorry, back to the tale. Nietch looked upon the severed head. He cried for now he didn’t have enough time to smoke before needing to cue up the next song. Eventually though, after failing to find another sidekick, one that would love the metal as much as he and would laugh at any and all of his jokes, Nietch figured it was time to bring Mean Dean back. 

VERSE 5: Mean Dean’s head and body were buried in blood soaked ground as Nietch danced above to simultaneous sounds of Mayhem, Iron Monkey, Opeth, and Faster Pussycat. Metric tons of Zima and Jagermeister seeped through Mean Dean’s tissue and bones. Also included was Nietch’s piss, not because it was a part of the ritual, it wasn’t, but because Nietch thought it would be funny. And it was. 

VERSE 6: Time passed and Nietch paused. He looked about this kingdom of Malicious Intent and saw that it was good. Listeners listened, local bands sought live play, and Mean Dean was back from the dead, penis kept securely in a locked cabinet. Goth girls with daddy issues were able to live their lives in peace. It was time to move on. Necks were slashed, virgins crucified, and I’s dotted. More pee was poured onto Dean, again only because Nietch found it to be funny. The time of Nietch had come to an end, but Malicious Intent was to live on. 

VERSE 7: No one knows for certain what ever happened to Nietch. Rumors range. Porn store clerk, strip club DJ which he was fired from for not playing enough light-rock “hits”, carpenter, stage actor and director, mime, bus driver for special-needs kids, deliverer of newspapers and phone books (ancient is Nietch, indeed, if these are to be believed). Troubled times spent in the land of shocked wheat. One tale says he now goes by the name Trevor and spreads the word of metal in Osaka, Japan to his trapped students of English. That he is married and they have spawned a kaiju bent on the world’s destruction. Wherever he has gone, know that he is one with the truly most beautiful music in the world, the very reason he and Malicious Intent DJs exist, heavy metal.

Malicious Intent: Reunion of the Deviants

Clockwise, from top left: Judge Dredd, Mark of the Beast,
CJ, Mean Dean the Metal Machine, Metal Al

Unholy hails to thee, loyal Malicious Intent legions!!  This blog has been slightly inactive the past few months, mainly due to Judge Dredd and I being busy with our scholarly post-graduate studies and CJ venturing into the mysterious misty mountains of beautiful Nepal...however, you may have heard whispers in the night of strange forces beyond our terrestrial sphere, working diligently to bring about a crossing of paths of Malicious Intent warriors past and present for what could hopefully be the first of many reunion shows!   

From CJ's notes on the show:

Metal Al (left) on the phone with Frankenstein (Mike Hall),
another former Malicious Intent DJ who unfortunately
couldn't make the show.  Meanwhile, Mark of the Beast (right) overlooks his majestic
collection of pirated Kroda CDs.

If you’re a follower of KJHK, you’ve probably heard about Malicious Intent at one point or another. It’s been a staple of the university station for well over twenty years, which means there have been a slew of DJs who have carried the mighty torch. These brave bastions of metal have carried that flame with extreme care and dedication towards the all-encompassing genre of metal in tandem with its ardent and vocal community. This post is the first in a number of KHJK segments that honor the program’s history and its contributors. On October 24th, the regular two-hour program was converted into a reunion show featuring five different DJs, both old and new. 

"The kids these days, they just don't
listen to enough Mercyful Fate!"

In attendance were current DJs, CJ and Judge Dredd, along with Metal Al, Mark of the Beast and Mean Dean. If you missed the show by some unfortunate stroke of bad luck, we welcome you to sit back and enjoy all of the banter and metal madness that occurred during this special edition of the show. Even if you’ve already heard it, we know you probably enjoyed it so much that you want to listen again; so by all means, please do so.

Listen to the show here:  http://kjhk.org/web/2015/10/28/malicious-intent-reunion-of-the-deviants/