Black Metal Banchan - Part 1: Sad Legend + Cheetos

Metal magazines and websites always talk about metal and beer, but what about metal and SNACKS?   Yeah, I know that anyone who listens to the excellent (and my favorite) podcast Illogical Contraption knows that they always do a snack chat segment during their show, but I always feel like I'm missing out on all the good stuff they're talking about because I'm not in the US right now!   Well, I've decided to make matters into my own hands by not just doing my own snack chat (with local Korean snacks since that's where I'm living at the moment), but also making it relevant to metalheads the world over by exploring the mysterious realm of the Korean black metal underground.   Obviously, Korea doesn't have a world-famous METAL scene at all, let alone a black metal one, but that doesn't mean there are some hidden gems lurking amidst the shadows...

Sad Legend - Sad Legend (1998)

First of all, that's a pretty cool album cover.   Yeah it looks a bit amateurish, and the Sad Legend logo is lame as fuck, but it definitely makes sense when you listen to the music itself.   Even if you didn't know this album was by a Korean band, this still feels kind of "exotic" or unique.   Being both atmospheric and melodic, it's kind of reminds me of like old-school Graveworm or something like that (even though most of Graveworm's stuff actually came out after this album was released).   Anyway, what's cool about this album is that it's absolutely drenched in gloomy keyboards, wailing female vocals, haunting male clean vocals, enchanting melodies, and mournful guitar leads, with all the other typical characteristics of the genre such as rasps, blastbeats, etc.  It all feels very late '90s and slightly dated, but I feel like that's part of its charm.

I really wish I could provide a link to their Bandcamp or something, but I have a feeling this CD is long out of print (it's going for between $55-$200 on Amazon right now!) and the band seems to be currently inactive.   Maybe it's on iTunes?   I don't know.   Anyway, you can find it on Youtube (sounds like a low quality upload, but whatever), so check it out if you want!

Sad Legend - classic lineup

The cover art also perfectly captures the mood, I'd say.   I feel like overall thematically what they're going for is represented in the title of the first track, "Han".   In this case, I believe what han is referring to is the Korean phenomenon of a kind of collective feeling or consciousness of the Korean people who constantly feel "oppression and isolation in the face of insurmountable odds (the overcoming of which is beyond the nation's capabilities on its own). It connotes aspects of lament and unavenged injustice" (Wikipedia).

I'm not exactly sure which incarnation
of Sad Legend this is, but thought it
was a fun pic so I decided to include it.

While the validity of this as an actual psychological phenomenon is questionable, my Korean girlfriend (her Malicious Intent black metal horde name is Gumiho) assures me that it's a real thing.   I feel like the music definitely seems to capture that emotion.   While it would have been cool for the band to maybe incorporate some traditional Korean instrumentation or something to further drive this concept home as "authentically Korean" or whatever, I think it's still really cool the way it is.   Anyway, even though I don't really listen to this kind of music anymore, I still found this to be a good album and worth checking out if you're interested in Korean metal or you're looking for some melodramatic, misty-forest-under-a pale-moon-at-midnight melodic black metal.

Your typical cheonyeo gwishin, being all creepy.
If you wake up in the middle of the night to find
THIS standing in the middle of your room,
you may be in trouble.

Also, I could be mistaken, but the woman on the cover reminds me of a cheonyeo gwishin (virgin ghost), a spirit that is commonly featured in many East Asian ghost stories, and, nowadays, movies.   If you've ever seen the American remakes of like Ringu (The Ring) or Ju-on (The Grudge), you'll know what I'm talking.   The girl/woman with the dirty long hair over her face, batshit insane facial expression, and contorted body lurching towards you?   That's a cheonyeo gwishin.   She may not look so bad on the album cover, but just do a quick google image search to see the actual face they have hiding under that creepy mane.   I wouldn't advise you to do this before attempting to go to sleep for the night.  

 Recommended tracks: "Han", "Dawn of Despair", and "Realm of the Soulless".  

Korean Cheetos

Surprisingly, this music seemed to go rather well with the snacks I'll be talking about tonight.   "Why?" you may ask.   Because we're talking about a legendary snack that's in a sad state of affairs right now here in The Land of the Morning Calm.   Korea, we need to talk about your Cheetos situation.   The trend right now is to have everything be honey-butter flavored or sweet and salty, and Korean Cheetos are no exception.   For one, everyone knows that Cheetos should be cheesy, or at least have that option should you want just some good ol' original Cheetos.   However, in Korea, sadly, you don't have that option unless you go to an international mart or something.   From what I've seen at least, you unfortunately only have three flavors to choose from on a regular basis: BBQ, Spicy & Sweet, and Honey Cheese (ugh).   

"Spicy" and Sweet

Let's start with the Spicy & Sweet first.   Honestly, it kind of sucks.   There's too strong of an imbalance with the taste, with it being too sweet and not spicy or salty enough.   In fact, if I didn't know that it was supposed to be spicy in the first place I wouldn't have even noticed.   If you thought maybe you wouldn't be able to handle it because you're in Korea (they love their spicy food!), not to mention also the fact that Chester Cheeto himself is belching flames on the front of the packaging, I can strongly assure you that your mouth will be fine.   It even has spicy peppers and garlic too on there, presumably to emphasize its heat!  C'mon guys!
5/10

BBQ...I have no idea what the fuck is supposed to be
going on in this artwork.

Next up is the BBQ.   First of all, this should be amazing because Korean BBQ kicks ass and is one of the best ways to spend an evening with your bros.   In fact, one of the best things about Korean metal shows is that afterwards everyone (bands and their fans) goes out for BBQ afterwards, all the while drinking plenty of Korean beer and gross soju (we'll talk about those another time).   Anyway, a slam dunk for Cheetos right?   Wrong!!  This shit is fucking wack, especially if you compare it to how great Korean BBQ is!   The Cheetos version of Korean BBQ is completely underwhelming- it has a weak taste, it's too sweet, and doesn't really taste like BBQ at all.   It kind of reminds me of like a shitty version of American BBQ chips or something.   It just doesn't really leave much of an impression, other than "blah".   Koreans deserve a Cheetos snack that truly represents what Korean BBQ is all about!   That moksal (pork chop) grilling on the packaging is false advertising!
5.5/10

Finally, we have the dreaded Honey Cheese...

...actually...these aren't too bad!   I spoke too soon!   I had assumed that they were going to be garbage because of the previous two disappointments, but these are surprisingly decent!   They're still a bit too sweet, but at least you can actually kind of taste the traditional Cheetos cheese flavoring or whatever insane chemical shit they use to get Cheetos to taste the way they do.   However, they're still too sweet (too much honey flavoring) and not salty or cheesy enough, and I find myself enjoying it less and less the more I eat.   But then again...ahhh! I don't know what to think, can't make up my mind.   I just wish there was, at the very least, a regular, original Cheetos option.   Anyway, this is arguably the least offensive of the bunch.
6.5/10

In The Beginning...There Was METAL

The following is the retelling of the early days of Malicious Intent on KJHK re-imagined as mythical lore, and was provided by previous MI DJ, Nietch.

The Bible of Malicious Intent Book Two: The Era of Nietch As told by the scribe Witgen 

VERSE 1: It was a dark time in the land of Jayhawks. For no metal was to be had by those with a radio dial. Children wept as parents curled into balls on the floor, unable to muster the hope they needed to get through yet another cloudy day. Tales were told of a show called Malicious Intent, but it was nothing but legend. Most had never even known of its existence. But the legends also told of a prophecy, that one day a man with long hair and acne, garnered in a brown leather jacket, would call forth to the deep. The deep where darkness feeds, Vikings drink, demons dance, and blood rains. One man did rise from the ashes. This was a man of wisdom, strength and fortitude. He was hit by a bus. A woman rose up, but she was into punk so took over the punk show. But then, then! A man named Nietch stepped forward. The rituals were performed. Arms were slashed, but immediately mended because that shit hurts. Ancient texts were poured over to find others means of ritual. Finally, one was found that would work. The one known as an application form. Papers were signed and behold, Malicious Intent was born again in the spring term of the 97th year of the 20th century. 

VERSE 2: It was a wonderful time to behold, the late 90s. Cradle of Filth, Neurosis, Soulfly, Flesh Parade, Fu Manchu, In Flames, The Esoteric, Wormwood, and more, so very many more, graced the airwaves. Interviews with the likes of GWAR, Therion, Megadeth, Clutch, Machine Head, and more were experienced. Sometimes in a men’s bathroom. 

VERSE 3: Soon, Nietch was joined by a man who flat out refused to ever take a hint and leave. This man was Mean Dean. Their wit and witticisms and super duper clever bantering banter made the airwaves tremble and stuff. 

VERSE 4: But not all was well. The Underarm Music Show, another specialty program, was jealous of Malicious Intent. The show’s Reverend played music born from the sweatiest, most unwashed pits known to man. Obviously there was a lot of overlapping of bands between the two shows. Nietch and Mean Dean were happy for the Reverend, for the spreading of metal, any metal, no matter how vile its stench, is to be welcomed with open arms and unclogged nostrils. Alas, the Reverend did not see it this way. He did besmirch Malicious Intent and Nietch. Mean Dean went live on The Underarm to protect Nietch’s valor while Nietch drank whiskey and watched Tick cartoons. A battle more amazing than the Two Towers and Return of the King transpired, one which has been told by greater poets than I. In the end, it was for naught. Mean Dean was slain. Upon hearing the news, Nietch went to bed, for it was late. The next day he went about his business. And the same for the next several days. But when Mean Dean failed to show up for Malicious Intent, Nietch remembered that a gaggle of Goth girls with daddy issues could be found in any coffee shop. Once Mean Dean had quenched his loins behind a bush spying on them he would come, pun most certainly intended. Then Mean Dean’s severed head was found. It was not in a box. Made a heck of a mess, I tell you. And did Nietch even try to clean it up, take as much as a used tissue to it? You tell me. No, just leave it to sweater vest wearing Witgen to handle such matters. And the stench – Sorry, back to the tale. Nietch looked upon the severed head. He cried for now he didn’t have enough time to smoke before needing to cue up the next song. Eventually though, after failing to find another sidekick, one that would love the metal as much as he and would laugh at any and all of his jokes, Nietch figured it was time to bring Mean Dean back. 

VERSE 5: Mean Dean’s head and body were buried in blood soaked ground as Nietch danced above to simultaneous sounds of Mayhem, Iron Monkey, Opeth, and Faster Pussycat. Metric tons of Zima and Jagermeister seeped through Mean Dean’s tissue and bones. Also included was Nietch’s piss, not because it was a part of the ritual, it wasn’t, but because Nietch thought it would be funny. And it was. 

VERSE 6: Time passed and Nietch paused. He looked about this kingdom of Malicious Intent and saw that it was good. Listeners listened, local bands sought live play, and Mean Dean was back from the dead, penis kept securely in a locked cabinet. Goth girls with daddy issues were able to live their lives in peace. It was time to move on. Necks were slashed, virgins crucified, and I’s dotted. More pee was poured onto Dean, again only because Nietch found it to be funny. The time of Nietch had come to an end, but Malicious Intent was to live on. 

VERSE 7: No one knows for certain what ever happened to Nietch. Rumors range. Porn store clerk, strip club DJ which he was fired from for not playing enough light-rock “hits”, carpenter, stage actor and director, mime, bus driver for special-needs kids, deliverer of newspapers and phone books (ancient is Nietch, indeed, if these are to be believed). Troubled times spent in the land of shocked wheat. One tale says he now goes by the name Trevor and spreads the word of metal in Osaka, Japan to his trapped students of English. That he is married and they have spawned a kaiju bent on the world’s destruction. Wherever he has gone, know that he is one with the truly most beautiful music in the world, the very reason he and Malicious Intent DJs exist, heavy metal.

Malicious Intent: Reunion of the Deviants

Clockwise, from top left: Judge Dredd, Mark of the Beast,
CJ, Mean Dean the Metal Machine, Metal Al

Unholy hails to thee, loyal Malicious Intent legions!!  This blog has been slightly inactive the past few months, mainly due to Judge Dredd and I being busy with our scholarly post-graduate studies and CJ venturing into the mysterious misty mountains of beautiful Nepal...however, you may have heard whispers in the night of strange forces beyond our terrestrial sphere, working diligently to bring about a crossing of paths of Malicious Intent warriors past and present for what could hopefully be the first of many reunion shows!   

From CJ's notes on the show:

Metal Al (left) on the phone with Frankenstein (Mike Hall),
another former Malicious Intent DJ who unfortunately
couldn't make the show.  Meanwhile, Mark of the Beast (right) overlooks his majestic
collection of pirated Kroda CDs.

If you’re a follower of KJHK, you’ve probably heard about Malicious Intent at one point or another. It’s been a staple of the university station for well over twenty years, which means there have been a slew of DJs who have carried the mighty torch. These brave bastions of metal have carried that flame with extreme care and dedication towards the all-encompassing genre of metal in tandem with its ardent and vocal community. This post is the first in a number of KHJK segments that honor the program’s history and its contributors. On October 24th, the regular two-hour program was converted into a reunion show featuring five different DJs, both old and new. 

"The kids these days, they just don't
listen to enough Mercyful Fate!"

In attendance were current DJs, CJ and Judge Dredd, along with Metal Al, Mark of the Beast and Mean Dean. If you missed the show by some unfortunate stroke of bad luck, we welcome you to sit back and enjoy all of the banter and metal madness that occurred during this special edition of the show. Even if you’ve already heard it, we know you probably enjoyed it so much that you want to listen again; so by all means, please do so.

Listen to the show here:  http://kjhk.org/web/2015/10/28/malicious-intent-reunion-of-the-deviants/

Black Metal of the Emerald Triangle: An Interview With Lycanthromancer and Skorpius of Miasmic!!

Interview conducted via email in July 2015.

Listen and support Miasmic's music: https://miasmic.bandcamp.com/
Keep updated about Miasmic: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Miasmic/185330898175023?fref=ts

WULF:  From what I can tell, this is your first interview.   You have been in the game for almost 10 years now!   Why so mysterious?  Tell us about yourselves!

LYCANTHROMANCER:  Rising as a malevolent force from the darkness & hoary mists of these ancient Redwoods, 'MIASMIC' was forged in the year 2006. Iishtok and Lycanthromancer (then Lycanthropizer) spearheaded the project with previous percussionist, Volkane (aka S.M. Azazel from Unholy Crucifix) as a polemic reflection against the modern world. Black metal was ( and is) the appropriate platform to cast our nefarious onslaught unto the decadent cultural malaise that surrounds us. We began to hone our skills & perfect our craft of audial decimation to contend with the monotonous grain of the collective. Decisions were made and new musicians sought. Skorpius joined our ranks in 2010 & Altar in 2014. We stand unified and disciplined, as disciples of the Miasmic writ.

WULF: According to metal-archives.com, one of your lyrical themes is "transcendence".   Would you say this is accurate?   If so, can you give us any insights as to what this means exactly?   Also, are there any specific spiritual/occult beliefs that are shared by all the members of the band?   In recent years, it seems like black metal (especially USBM) has begun to split away from the traditional Satanic tropes and motifs of black metal and has become more focused on psychology, philosophy (especially existentialism and nihilism), or simply just nature itself.   How does Miasmic fit into all of this, if at all?

LYCANTHROMANCER: Lyrically we have touched upon the aspect of what lies beyond the corporeal world, those realms not known to the living or that which is unbound to our earthly perceptions. To leave the temporal plane and gain insight & forbidden knowledge into other dimensions that lie just beyond mortal reach. Hymns such as "Gravemoss", "Ephemeral Lych Gate of the Miasmic Emerger", and "In a Tomb of Flesh, I am Buried Above Ground" were written about such explorations & disdain for our fettered existence. New opuses such as "Insular Pinnacles & Visceral Divination" have more to do with spiritual ascension. To be seated upon a higher throne beyond time & being, far from the incongruous contemporary world in which we unfortunately inhabit currently. As individuals we have our own varied personal beliefs, we speak for ourselves and not as a whole. We unify under the banner of Miasmic due to our mutual beliefs and interests; self-righteousness, scorn, wrath, extreme music, elitism to name a few is what binds us together as a group. For we are creatures of the same ilk. As far as the traditional sense of "satanic" black metal, this has become more or less a pantomime. A provocative attempt at joining the herd mentality of the "scene". Now I don't mean to write it off as such completely for there are those who remain true to a Luciferian or esoteric paragon of devotion, but too many go in halfhearted with such doctrines or are only concerned with the alluring image. Miasmic stands against humanity's current metaphysical stagnation. Let us be enlightened and attuned with mannaz & resuscitate heathen volition which our predecessors purged through fervent religious swindling. We sonically embody consecration through the path of darkness.

WULF:  Your live show involves animal skulls, candelabras, spikes, and, of course, soul-crushing black/death metal!   Unfortunately, I haven't personally had the pleasure of witnessing one of your shows in the flesh, but I have good friends who can attest to your powerful live conjuring. What are you hoping to accomplish with these live assaults/rituals?   What would you say to those who are curious about attending one of your shows?   What can they expect?

LYCANTHROMANCER: Ornaments & tools used within our formulae. We seek to rekindle the bestial flame in the hearts of our spectators; adulation is irrelevant, awakening is key.  Macabre substance & barbaric imagery only enforces the affirmation we evoke. Each show a ritual and each song a passage in the tome of our black work. Other extreme manifestations will come to fruition in the near future. For now one can expect cryptic somber ambiance amidst desolate cacophony.

WULF:  Humboldt County is absolutely fucking gorgeous (according to my friends and the internet, I haven't been there personally).   Is there any specific way you draw influence from nature, such as through exploration, ritual, mind-expanding chemicals (you are in Humboldt, after all :D ), etc.?   

LYCANTHROMANCER: The call of the wild is embedded within our persona. To wander behind the redwood curtain and behold the grandeur of aeons is truly inspiring. We venerate & translate our homage through an audial medium, an ode to the ancients. The wellspring of influence flows from our return to the resemblance of the primeval & exploring the oldest remnants of the land. Whilst we have partaken the psychedelic offerings of the soil, they have served as enhancers to our personal means.

WULF:   I'm always interested in a band's non-musical influences much more than any musical ones.   Themes, atmosphere, and lyrics should be just as important the music!   Is there any literature/film/non-musical stuff that your listeners can check out that will enhance their understanding/experience of your music?   Also, is there a chance you will ever release the official lyrics for your music?

LYCANTHROMANCER:  Agreed, the literary weaving of mysticism is paramount to the art in which we exsanguinate from our psyche. We have drawn inspiration from the works of Evola, Nietzsche, Crowley, Jung, & Pagan ideology to bate. A nihilistic/ atavist perspective is desired. Whatever stirs the waters of our intellect. Upon the topic of lyrics we would definitely like to incorporate them within our releases yet as of late we have rushed our ephemera. Those who seek to gaze upon our text must simply contact us.

SKORPIUS: I think I've always been drawn towards art, literature, and film that explores abstract, supernatural, and dark or grotesque themes. Some favorites include H.P. Lovecraft, Nietzsche, Stephen King, Clive Barker, David Lynch, Terry Gilliam, Salvador Dali, and H.R. Giger. 

WULF:  I'd like to go back a bit into your past.   Miasmic has been around since 2006, but you finally got a permanent bass player (Altar) just last year.   How did you find this dude, and is he involved with any other bands?   Is the metal scene small there, or were you just waiting to find "the right person"?  Also, you mentioned a few years ago on your Facebook page that you had found a bass player for one of your live shows.   Did this ever work out?  I can only ever find pictures of you guys performing as a three-piece.

LYCANTHROMANCER: The metal scene here is rather minuscule with any worthwhile musicians being transitory (we are located in a college town). Few have been auditioned with none being exemplary throughout the years. Miasmic remained a strong force to be reckoned with as a three piece. However, we felt limited with what we could instigate live as a trio. Until we met Altar. Altar approached us sometime last year & inquired about us needing a bass player. He auditioned, quickly picked up our material, and exhibited the dedication we sought in an initiate without any other musical endeavors. He is a permanent member of our sect & collaborates in the creation process. Hail Altar! While Miasmic remains our primary focus, other projects are active. Iishtok beats skins and bronze for death/grind hounds Sadistic Hallucinations & Skorpius provides artillery for death/thrash horde Infernal Damnation. 

WULF:   You released the mayhemic "Spectral Wrath" full-length in 2013. You also recently re-released your first album, "Amongst the Ancient Ones", which was remastered and also features brand new artwork.   It seems like maybe you felt that the original mastering wasn't the best, but why the change in artwork?   Who did the art for the re-release?    What are your plans for 2015 and the near future?  Any new music, tours, shows, music videos, etc.?

SKORPIUS: We've basically been teaching ourselves how to record music with each release. The first time around, we didn't really know about things like master bus compression, limiters, etc. so we just released the album with every song pushed into the red to make it loud enough. Once I started learning more about all the steps involved in music post-production, I went back to the original recordings and started messing around with them, just trying to practice and learn more about the whole process. It wasn't really until I showed the rest of the band my re-mastered version that we decided to reprint the album. At first we were going to use the original cover image, but one day I was browsing on MoonRing Design's website, and something jumped out at me, so we decided to also revamp the artwork. The back cover is actually the same on both versions of the album. 

LYCANTHROMANCER: The latter half of the year will see the unveiling of our third full length offering as well as a west coast tour thereafter. Miasmic will not cease. Our art will only intensify & evolve.

ASIA METALHEAD

When it comes to metal or extreme music, living in South Korea can be extremely frustrating.   It's obvious that there are enough bands and fans here to make a halfway decent "scene", so why is it that the turnout at most of these shows is always a little disappointing?

1.   There is very little in the way of any real organization.   There are random Facebook groups that have some upcoming show announcements.  There are various websites that occasionally do some promotion.   And, of course, there's word of mouth.   I guess it's also worth pointing out that there's a language barrier as well, since we are in Korea, after all.

2.   Metal (or any non-pop / soft rock for that matter really) just isn't that popular here.   However, in a nation of roughly 50 million people that is also literally HALF the size of Minnesota and with excellent, relatively cheap transportation, it blows my mind that there is a struggle to get even like 50-100 people to show up at a gig.

3.   Promotion itself is abysmal.   Of course, it's possible that this could be a language issue and that most foreigners are then just left out in the cold since most of us don't speak Korean (and thus, don't check Korean websites and that kind of thing), but I doubt it.   I'd say that at any given show, roughly half of the people there are usually foreigners.   If the show was really well promoted for the Korean fans, then I'd expect the ratio of the attendees to be a lot more unbalanced.

Even North Korea is excited about Asia Metalhead finally going live!

When I was living in Sydney I had no problem whatsoever learning about shows, and this had nothing to do with the fact that I'm an English speaker.    The scene itself was just extremely well-organized, in large part due to the Gig Guide at Australian Metal Guide.   Even a non-English speaker would be able to figure out what was going on based on the clear design and layout of that site.

Well, finally metal fans living in Korea and East Asia have something that offers some hope!   My buddy Dan Orozco started a website, "Asia Metalhead", which aims to make it easier for everyone to keep up with what the fuck is going on in terms of gigs and shit here in the Far East!    Metal fans in Japan, South Korea, China, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, and Indonesia should all check it out!

Also, if you have any news of upcoming shows, no matter how big or small, I'm sure Dan would appreciate it, plus anyone else who just wants to keep up with what's going on.  

BONUS:


The video above features the killer Korean death metal band, Seed, but also some rare footage of Wulf (denim vest with Bathory backpatch) and Judge Dredd (bro in the flannel to my left) drunk as fuck and looking like noobs, but having a goddamn blast!!  You, too, can partake in the blasphemic ritual chaos!!  Go to Asia Metalhead, find out about the next show, and if you're extremely lucky you may even see one (or BOTH!!!!) of us there!!!

DAN OROZCO INFO:
You can stalk him at: https://www.facebook.com/metalsamurai?fref=ts
You can hit him up on Kakao Talk at: danorozco666
You can spam his email at: daniel-orozco@live.com
You can try to get him to do a live striptease via Skype at: dan.orozco

My Favorite Metal Albums For Different Situations and Settings

I'll own up to it...I have a problem with complete silence.  Whether I'm hanging out in my apartment, driving in my car, or working out at the gym, I always have to listen to music. The only time I DON'T feel compelled to listen to music is when I'm in the company of others.

I don't exactly know why I can't handle silence. On the obvious side of things, I'm just a humongous fan of music. However, I also experience a lot of "noise" in my head (as in, a rapid-paced cycling through various barely-connected thoughts) when I'm not focusing on one subject or idea, so I think music helps me concentrate and filter out this "noise".

Through constantly listening to music, I've found that there are perfect combinations of bands and/or subgenres of Metal with different situations and settings.

Thus, in this post, I am going to divulge my favorite albums/sub-genres for different situations and settings. The situations and settings will start out with more general, daily activities and then will get more specific.

Exercise

Bro, do you even RIFF?!?!  There is no FUCKING way that I am going to the gym without a fair amount of Metal on my iPod.  I'll always remember listening to "Reign in Blood" by Slayer while I was on the treadmill and feeling like I was a viking running into battle. I am not joking when I say that I felt a surge of adrenaline pumping through me at that moment. Runner's high? Could have been. Metal high? DEFINITELY.

It's actually really hard to narrow it down, but I would probably say "City", by Strapping Young Lad is the my favorite Metal workout album.  Nearly the entire album is fast-paced, intense, and over-the-top in every sense. I try to time it so I'm doing cardio for all of the faster songs at the beginning of the album, and then lifting for the slower tracks towards the end.  Or, if my workout is longer than 39 minutes and 22 seconds (it usually is, bro), I just put that shit on repeat...bro.

Driving

It really depends on when and where I'm going and for what purpose, but there is nothing that compares to listening to select albums/tracks by Isis and Cult of Luna while driving on the highway at night. And yes, "Somewhere Along The Highway" by Cult of Luna is usually my go-to in this situation. The relative silence and desolate sameness of the highway at night is really isolating in a sense, and for this reason, the often minimalistic and spacy sounds of bands like Isis and Cult of Luna is a perfect way to both somehow embrace and transcend that isolation at the same time.

Sex

None...

Now, admittedly, I once had sex to the song "The Last with Pagan Blood" by Amon Amarth...on repeat. And I'll never forget the story of our friend (who shall remain nameless) having anal sex with his hardcore Catholic girlfriend (they have long since broken up) while listening to Dying Fetus.

But, really? Is there any Metal that is "sexy"? None, in my humble opinion.

A long time ago, Wulf and I had a discussion based on this premise: "Is there any music less sexy than Metal?" The conclusion was that Noise Music (a la Whitehouse or Merzbow) was the only music less sexy than Metal. 

If you want to put on some brutal, guttural Death Metal or some kvlt Black Metal while doing the dirty, be my guest. But I will personally be putting on some chill baby-making electronic music, thank you very much.  My Bloody Valentine is also great for the sideways hokey-pokey.


Pre-gaming and Partying

Back in the good 'ol days (circa 2004-2008), we would throw Metal parties where everyone would dress in their most grim Metal getup, drink the cheapest of beers, and listen to Metal all through the night - corpse paint REQUIRED.  Seeing as how the majority of our friends are/were not Metalheads, this was a rather rare occurrence.

During these parties, there were SO many good Classic Metal and Thrash Metal albums that my friends and I threw on for some good 'ol fashioned Metal Party Madness™, that it's hard to pick one.  With that being the case, I'm going to come out of left field a little bit and say 'God Luck and Good Speed' by Weedeater was often a go-to party album for us in the latter part of the good 'ol days era.  This is partly because Weedeater would often tour through our hometown.  Not to be outdone by "Dixie" Dave, my friends and I would often get batshit-crazy drunk at their shows. My favorite memory of getting fucked up with Weedeater involved me jumping on stage and pouring PBR down Wulf's throat. The one time that I failed to attend a Weedeater show, my friends that went said that "Dixie" Dave set a bucket on stage for him to puke into. Good times.


Hiking

Damn, this is hard.  If I were more of a fan of Pagan/Folk Metal, I would most certainly go with something in that sub-genre.  It kind of depends on what mood I'm in, but I would probably say my go-to is Wolves in the Throne Room.  Stereotypical, I know, but listening to WITTR is practically a fucking pagan ritual in of itself.  Combine that with being alone in the woods, and you're basically transcending consciousness or whatever.


Cleaning

It's no secret that I'm not a fan of cleaning. I am certainly not the dirtiest person, but cleaning is usually on the bottom of my list of things to do. When I clean, I want to get it done as quickly as possible. For this reason, I've found that Math/Noisecore is fucking amazing for cleaning. It kind of makes sense too: Math/Noisecore is the aural equivalent of taking meth, and I'll be damned if methheads aren't amazing cleaners. It's all in the details!


Cooking


To be honest, I don't often listen to Metal when I cook. However, I can't get the idea of listening to Power Metal while cooking out of my head and I don't really know why. Is cooking really that epic? Maybe. Maybe because I just associate both fine cuisine and Power Metal with Europe. Who knows? Anyway, I'll raise my spatula to that.


When You've Had Just the Shittiest Day and Nothing Seems to Have Gone Right

For me, it's usually not one large thing that goes wrong (thankfully), but a series of really small things (thankfully...?). Unfortunately, I'm the type of person where it takes me a while to isolate these small things in my mind, and sort of laugh them off and remove them as barriers to having at least an average day.

On days like this, there is no better release than listening to KC Hardcore Overlords, Coalesce. For me, their later material has the perfect balance of groove and punch, noisy and chaotic, to really get out all of that negative energy built up from all of those small things going wrong.

I remember one time in junior high absolutely cranking "cowards.com" by Coalesce and stomping around my room while raging on a pillow. I can't quite recall what I was so angry about, but listening to Coalesce seemed to help out quite a bit.


When You're Momentarily Very Angry About Something

I know what you're thinking, but I really don't have much of anger problem. But just like everyone else, I will sometimes get very frustrated or angry about something relatively small (e.g. I just spilled coffee everywhere, my jacket zipper will NOT.FUCKING.ZIP.UP.) for a just a moment before I realize how ridiculous it is that I'm getting angry about something so small and I laugh at myself. But a number of small things like this can create a bad day for me, as previously mentioned. As illogical and possibly counter-productive as it might sound, listening to a band that is ludicrously angry is usually a great way to quell my momentary anger.

You probably knew what was coming with this one: Grindcore. 

I can think of only two or three times in the last few years where I was explosively angry about something for more than a moment. That's usually just solved the way my Dad always did: wait until you're relatively isolated (or as isolated as you can be) and just yell a lot until you're not angry anymore. Or listen to Grindcore. Whatever works.


That Sort of Existential Shame that Comes With a Massive Hangover

God, these mornings, afternoons, and (God forbid) early evenings are the absolute worst, and they are 80% of the reason why I don't drink nearly as much or as often as I used to.

Let's set the scene: you were out until 5:00 a.m. drinking, and then you wake up at noon. You've slept off your drunkenness, so there's no way that your brain can now hold off the coming onslaught of questions like, "What am I doing with my life?" "Why do I keep doing this to myself and expect a different outcome? Isn't that the definition of insanity?" "Is anything important?" "Is anything meaningful"?

It really just depends on how much further down the rabbit hole you want to go. I personally will start feeling anxious if I start listening to really depressing, somber metal like DSBM or most Doom Metal.

For these days, if I'm listening to any Metal at all, it has to be something unapologetically happy and/or triumphant. Something like the Kings of Metal, MANOWAR.

Manowar will lead you through the existential cesspool of your hangover to the glorious light.

*****

As you may very well be able to ascertain, there is an endless amount of situations and settings that call for different Metal bands and/or sub-genres. 

What are some of your favorite combinations?

Terra Australis Merch + Nature Is Metal

Whoa!!  They had offered to send me some stuff, but I had no idea that they would actually follow through!!  Thank you so much to Terra Australis for hooking up Malicious Intent with these CDs and patches!!  Can't wait to check them out (and of course give them to some friends who think they can handle the unholy grimness contained within the music :D

In the meantime, working on some interviews now so be sure to check in later this May!

Oh, and this is pretty cool as well:
http://www.reddit.com/r/natureismetal



Listen and support Terra Australis' music: https://terraaustralis.bandcamp.com/releases
Keep updated about Terra Australis: https://www.facebook.com/TerraAustralisBlackMetal
Terra Australis' Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/SatansSoldiersElite
Terra Australis' Official Site: http://terraaustralisband.com/

Read the Malicious Intent exclusive interview with Terra Australis: http://maliciousintent666.blogspot.kr/2015/03/interview-with-invisus-of-terra.html