Black Metal Banchan - Part 4 - Philippines Addition (Deiphago + Pinoy Snacks + Feng Shui)!!

For this round of the Black Metal Banchan, we're going to take a brief detour to Southeast Asia, wherein floats a collection of islands renowned for their relaxing beaches, beautiful women, and, of course, extremely violent political scene.   Yep, you guessed it!!  The Philippines!

First, we're going to explore the delightful music of a fun Filipino black metal band by the name of Deiphago.   If I'm not mistaken, Deiphago are one of those super brutal "bestial black/death war metal" bands similar to Black Witchery, Blasphemy, etc.   You can usually tell it's one of these bands NOT by the excessive amount of bullets-and-spikes adornments, but rather by the fact that they almost always rock the style of corpsepaint WITHOUT the white.   You don't see Beherit, Blasphemy, or Proclamation running around on stage with any of that white clown paint nonsense on.   Nope, only the black paint (except for Caller of the Storms from Blasphemy, who doesn't wear any at all because because either he's too cool for it and just wears sunglasses, is already black anyway, or maybe all of the above).   Even Archgoat and Black Witchery go without it sometimes!

Just a typical Tuesday night for the ol' Deiphago gang!!

It looks like Deiphago formed in the late 1980s and went under several generic "evil" names before finally settling on Deiphago (or "god-eater", if I'm not mistaken) in 1991.   Anyway, these dudes put out a few (including one accidentally amusing) cassette demos before calling it quits in 1998, and for most bands the story would have just ended there.   However, the band was far from over.   Apparently, Sidapa and Voltaire 666 (the brains behind the operation) relocated to Costa Rica for whatever reason in 2004 and started up the band again!   They decided to not fuck around with cassette demos this time, and immediately started releasing professional material (splits and an LP) before being picked up by Hells Headbangers and thus ascending to trvly kvlt status.  

  Probably wouldn't be my first choice if I had to
pick a creature from the 1st edition Monster Manual to inform the listener
that this music is pure sonic annihilation.  Just look
at that puny fucking knife.  I feel like you'd only get like 100 XP for
slaying one of these things.

Deiphago are frantic, brutal, sloppy, and absolutely do not fuck around with their obliterating wall of Satan-obsessed, blasphemic noise.   However, while Satanik Eon (2006) is pretty crazy, I think their Hells Headbangers debut, Filipino Antichrist (2009), ups the ante in terms of sheer insanity, in no small thanks to Devastator's (from Nicaragua, and of extremely questionable political beliefs) insane, machine gun-like drum torture.   The band just never fucking lets up!  Endless blasts, frantic guitar solos (like something Trey Azagthoth would come up with on PCP), and Voltaire 666's lunatic shouting make this is seriously some of the most intense shit I've ever heard in my life, especially since I'm pretty sure these guys are serious about what they're into.  I don't really know how to review this stuff so far because it's just so ludicrous.   Even the Sarcófago cover, while faithfully executed, is definitely superior (especially since it features real, sloppy-ass warpspeed drums as opposed to the programmed crapola on the original).   Seriously, call me a wimp, but by the end of this album I feel like my brain has been completely fucking fried.   Definitely not recommended listening to these albums back to back if you value your sanity.

The lyrics to the title track pretty much sums it all up:

"From islands of the Southeast
I was born with warrior's blood
A descendant of Detinos
I bring vengeance, chaos and death
Bagobos guide my path
As I go into war

Filipino Antichrist, 2009 vinyl re-release album art.
Now this is more like it!!  Still kind of a shitty knife (sword?) though :(

I am a Filipino Antichrist
To Satan I gave my life
Worship Him with fire and blood
I trample down the heavens
Worship Him with swords and guns
I am warrior in Satan's name
From a a place where the sun dawns
And pours blood of my forefathers
I walk the earth with might and pride
Ready to conquer full of hate
The law of the strong within me
I smite all of Christianity

I am Filipino!
I am Antichrist!"


  

Not content to chill for too long, the band re-recorded and re-arranged their 1993 demo, giving it finally a proper release as an EP early in 2011 before releasing a split (comprised of Discharge and The Exploited covers) with Nuclearhammer later that year.  After this, the band decided to unleash another blitzkrieg of brutality with Satan Alpha Omega (2012).   This time around I must admit the cover art is way better, as they got the immensely-talented Benjamin A. Vierling to do some really whacked-out, Satanic/occult medieval grimoire type stuff.   This time around, these dudes are for real, right?  Is this Deiphago's magnum opus?

Huge improvement over the last album cover.  This
is actually really cool!      

At this point, while from a songwriting perspective there really hasn't been much of an evolution, it's clear that this album does at least have slightly better production standards.  Also, they picked up a new drummer too!  Devastator's out, and is replaced by a mysterious Costa Rican dude by the name of Savnok.   I have no idea where he got this name from (unless it's his real name ha), but a quick Google search brought me to this page.  At this point, I don't know about you guys, but I'm starting to get a really strong nerd vibe from these guys.   Just watch the fairly awkward interview below... it seems like behind the extremely evil and violent music and imagery, they probably play their fair share of Magic: the Gathering.



Anyway, like I said before, this is album is basically just a newer, improved version of Filipino Antichrist.   Same old story- artillery drums, chaotic warped guitars (to the point where it seems like improv at times), barely audible distorted bass, frantic shouts and screams...obviously, being a band for over 20 years at this point has only made the band more extreme.   If you want, you can actually listen to the entire album for free here.

Which leaves us with the band's latest album, Into the Eye of Satan (2015).   This time around, the dudes have enlisted super-producer/string virtuoso Colin Marston (of Behold the Arctopus, Dysrhythmia, Gorguts, Krallice, and probably a bunch of other stuff) to try and tame the chaos into something that is at-least somewhat half-way listenable.   However, that's not to say that this is more "melodic" or any less crazy than their previous albums, as the typical Deiphago insanity we have grown to love is still there, except it's just a bit easier to tell what's going on due to a much improved mix (I still have no idea what the fuck the bassist is doing though).  While it's true that some of the songs have some slower parts occasionally, we've still got the bizarre solos, the sloppy, blasting drums, the demon-possessed vokillz, etc.   However, the songwriting seems to be a bit more varied, experimental, and, well...psychedelic!  Seriously, it almost has this sort of strange, otherworldly vibe to it...it kind of reminds me of that title of that one Ween song, "Mushroom Festival in Hell".   Maybe Colin Marston got these dudes to finally chill out (at least for a little while) and smoke some weed.   I can see it now- "No, seriously, it will totally help your songwriting!"   If you were on some heavy duty hallucinogens in Hell, this would probably be an appropriate musical expression of that experience.   Bestial black/death war metal gone psychedelic?

Cover art for Into the Eye of Satan.   Pretty cool,
but I can't help but wonder if they intentionally
wanted the "eye of Satan" to resemble a butthole.
I feel like this is what Satan's asshole looks like
after eating a giant bowl of ghost pepper chili.  

Anyway, I guess it's important to mention that Deiphago have come under some controversy recently because allegedly the guitarist, Sidapa, assaulted a woman at one of their shows sometime last year.   I have absolutely no idea want went down exactly, nor do I want to get into that for this post, so while I think it's worth pointing out that this band may be at the very least kind of sketchy, for now I'm just going to focusing on the music.   After all, this post is about FILIPINO METAL, SNACKS, AND HORROR MOVIES, so I don't want to get bogged down with speculation about other shit.

Phew!  Well, after all that, I'll bet you're just dying to find out more about Deiphago!  Don't worry buddy, I've got you covered.   Check out the links below:
Follow Deiphago on Facebook so you can "like" things they have to say:  https://www.facebook.com/666division
Enjoy browsing Deiphago's wacky website: http://deiphago.webs.com/
Check out Deiphago's page on Hells Headbangers' website:  http://deiphago.hellsheadbangers.com/

SNACKS

Aw shit!!  Now it's time for the part of the banchan that's everyone's favorite!!  It's snack time!!  For this installment, Gumiho and I were joined by two mysterious entities, the ones known only as Über Officer and Gwishin, who dared to travel with us on our mayhemic journey to the land that unleashed Deiphago upon the world.    However, while the scenery was excruciatingly beautiful and the beaches torturously relaxing, we did find some time to see what was going on with the Filipino Snack Scene (FSS).   Check it out:

Ni Mang Juan (chik'n skin)


I have no idea what's going on in this commercial.

GUMIHO: (spits it out and makes a face).
ÜBER OFFICER:  What's the name of this again?
WULF:  Chik'n-skin.
ÜBER OFFICER:  Yeah, I definitely tasted a lot of SKIN, but not so much chicken.
WULF:  Ooo, scathing.  But chicken skin is good!
ÜBER OFFICER: Yeah, it doesn't taste anything like chicken, just skin.
WULF:  Like human skin?

Ni Mang Juan's Chik'n Skin...too extreme?

ÜBER OFFICER:  Just skin.
WULF:  I like chicken skin! Gwishin, what do you think?
GWISHIN: I just spit it out.
WULF:  Same reaction as Gumiho?
GWISHIN:  It's just salty...
WULF:  Hold on, I'm going to try a little bit more (grabs a handful).
ÜBER OFFICER:  The texture's not bad.
GWISHIN:  It doesn't really have any...texture.
WULF:  I actually think this is really good.  I really like it.
GUMIHO:  Really?
WULF:  Yeah, it tastes like-
UBER OFFICER: Skin.
WULF:  Yeah.  It tastes like roast chicken skin, but...(continues eating)
GUMIHO:  Oh my god, you're going to (finish the whole thing)...!
GWISHIN:  You're going to have diarrhea.
WULF:  I think this is really good.  I don't know how healthy it is, but I would actually eat it all the time.   OK, now, rate it out of 10!  Uber Officer?
ÜBER OFFICER:  So on a scale of 1 to 10...maybe, like, a 2?
GWISHIN:   I'm not going to eat it, so I'll give it a 0.
GUMIHO:  Um...0.
WULF:  I think this is good as fuck.   I'm going to give it an 8.5!

AVERAGE RATING:  2.625

Funky French Fry Snax (sweet cheddar)



WULF:  It tells us that it contains "real potato".
GUMIHO:  It's OK... better than (the Ni Mang Juan Chik'n Skin).
WULF:  What does it taste like?
GUMIHO:  Potato and cheese.
ÜBER OFFICER:  I don't know, I'm not getting any "funky" flavor, but it tastes much better than the Chik'n Skin.  It's got the crunchy texture, but it's "airy", so I like the "airy" taste...
WULF:  Kind of like Postick.
ÜBER OFFICER:  Yeah.  Post-dick?  I've never had any post-dick.
WULF:  Oh my God... real mature.
GUMIHO:  But Postick is better, I think.
GWISHIN:  I like the sweet cheddar flavor, but it's too salty.
ÜBER OFFICER:  No, that's the ocean water.  :p

WULF:  OK, I actually don't like it very much.
GWISHIN:  He's (just) going against us!
WULF:  No!  I'm really not trying to!  I'm not trying to be a hipster.  I (just) don't like that powdery taste.
ÜBER OFFICER:  The powder tastes like that mac and cheese mix.
WULF:  Yeah, that's true (everyone else agrees).  But I like (mac and cheese powder) when it's mixed with milk or whatever, I don't like it by itself.
ÜBER OFFICER:  That's why I like it.  It reminds me of mac and cheese.
WULF:  Oh, so you like that?  So it's a big hit!  What do you rate it?
ÜBER OFFICER:   Maybe like a...9?  8.5 or a 9.
GWISHIN:  Wow, that's great!  I'll give (it)... 3.  I don't really (like it), I'm not going to buy it.  It's much better than Chik'n Skin though.
GUMIHO:  5.  Not that good.
WULF:  Yeah, I'm going to give it a 4.
GUMIHO:  I don't like the powder.
WULF:  I don't like that either.  So a 3 or 4 for me.
GUMIHO:  I like powder, but this powder is-
WULF: It's like Postick, but but if you added like uh...some kind of like, sugar, to the macaroni mix-
GWISHIN:  Yeah, it's way sweeter.

AVERAGE RATING:  4.75

Mini Chocolate Pretzels



WULF: OK, so it's got (questionably) racist Native American stereotypes on the cover (of the bag).  Let's try it!  ....So it's pretzels dipped in chocolate, kind of like,,,Flipz?  (Uber Officer), you know Flipz?  Anybody?  (silence) ...You know, the pretzels covered in chocolate??  Flipz!  Back home?!
ÜBER OFFICER:  At home I call them "chocolate-covered pretzels".  (laughs all around)
ÜBER OFFICER:  (finishing the snack) It's like Pocky or Pepero, but the chocolate's better.
GWISHIN:  It has a better flavor.

GUMIHO:  It's good.  Um...what can I say?  (It tastes like) Nutella and a snack...
WULF:  So (it just tastes like) chocolate?  Nutella?
GUMIHO:  Hmm...just chocolate.  Right.
ÜBER OFFICER:  I'm kind of mixing the cheese powder with the chocolate-
GWISHIN:  Sounds disgusting.
WULF:  Whoa!  OK, could be a secret combination (Uber Officer) has discovered.
GUMIHO:  I'll give it...8.
GWISHIN:  This is like...sweet plus salty.
WULF:  I really like that combo.
GWISHIN:  I love that combo.
WULF:  But it's gotta be done in the right way, though.  Like, the other snack wasn't that good, but-
GWISHIN:  But this is good!
WULF:  I really like that style too.
ÜBER OFFICER:  But (this) is more of a dessert.  You have to be in the mood for (this snack), right?
WULF:  ...Yeah, I think this is really tasty, but I think the only problem is that it does not have a strong aftertaste.  It kind of hits you with the one-two punch and then there's not that much that really lingers after.  It just kind of makes you want to eat more.  Which is not really a big deal, but when you're out (of the snack) you're kind of sad.  ...but yeah, this is a solid snack!  I'm going to give it an 8.  Highly recommended.
ÜBER OFFICER:  I'll give it an 8 also.
GWISHIN:  8.
GUMIHO:  8.

AVERAGE RATING:  8

Whattatops



WULF:  Is there only one in there?
GUMIHO:  Yes...
WULF:  I think you're supposed to bite into it, because there's chocolate in the middle.  Let me try.
GWISHIN:  Is it good?
ÜBER OFFICER:  It's not bad.
WULF:  This is kind of like choco pie.
GUMIHO:  Mmm.  Ah!  Choco pie!
ÜBER OFFICER:  Choco pie's better.
GUMIHO:  Ah yeah, right.  But (they) taste (similar).
WULF:  I think we're (all) missing a crucial component, which is that middle part...you're not supposed to eat it like (how we're eating it now, which is divided up between 4 people).
GUMIHO:  (It's) pretty good.
WULF:  The middle part's the weakest part, actually.

It looks pretty good, but yeah...it was kind of shitty :(

ÜBER OFFICER:  Yeah, I didn't like the texture.  It's kind of (inaudible).
WULF:  Yeah, it started off strong but... (it's) kind of a disappointment.   ...This is kind of a basic...what's it called?   Little Debbie's?
ÜBER OFFICER:  Yeah, it's like a Little Debbie's.   But Little Debbie's tastes a little better.
WULF:  It's kind of like a Little Debbie's cheap dessert snack kind of thing...(a) chocolate muffin with sprinkles on top...with a weird chocolate middle spongy...
GWISHIN:  It's like salty and sweet mixed (with) salsa, but...it's not good.  Wow!  It's horrible!
ÜBER OFFICER:  I didn't like it.  If you want a dessert, it doesn't really satisfy you.  I give it about...a 3...3-plus.
WULF:  3.5?
ÜBER OFFICER:  3.5 I guess.
GWISHIN:  1.   Horrible.
GUMIHO:  Mmm...8!
WULF:  Whoa, Gumiho's the hipster!
GUMIHO:  Yeah, I like it!
WULF:  I am going to give it a 4...it started off strong, but that middle part I didn't really like that much.  So, yeah...too bad.  Sorry!

AVERAGE RATING:  4.125

Pee Wee (spicy chili)



GWISHIN:  Oh, spicy!
ÜBER OFFICER:  Are these pork rinds?  Oh, I like the spice!
WULF:  OK, hold on!  (starts eating)  Thoughts?  (Über Officer), go!
ÜBER OFFICER:  I like the spice, (but) the texture is not as good as the (Funky French Fry Snax), so... it's a mixture of "it tastes good" with-
WULF:  Does the stink come from vinegar, you think?
GWISHIN:  Yeah.
ÜBER OFFICER:  Yeah.  The taste isn't horrible, but I wouldn't eat it (normally).  The experience is not pleasant.  
GWISHIN:  I don't think this is a snack.  It's more like banchan.  You have to eat it with rice.
WULF:  Yeah...you think it would go well with rice?
GWISHIN:  It's...too strong (of a) flavor.
WULF:  Yeah...yeah.  OK.  Gumiho, what do you think?
GUMIHO:  I like this one.   I wish it was less salty, though.  
WULF:  Too salty?
GWISHIN:  You could eat it with rice.
WULF:  I think this is the best snack so far.

Bonus points for the cool Super Mario rip-off mascot.  I guess
that's supposed to be Pee Wee maybe?

GUMIHO:  Me too.
WULF:  It's absolutely delicious.  
ÜBER OFFICER:  The flavor is good, yeah.
WULF:  I like the really strong taste.  It's fairly spicy, it's got a kick.  
GUMIHO:  It's not that spicy.
WULF:  Well it's not THAT spicy, but it's spicy enough.
GUMIHO:  Not for me.
WULF:  OK, Gumiho is trying to be metal.  (in a grim black metal voice) IT'S NOT SPICY ENOUGH FOR ME.  It's got kind of a vinegary, spicy, little bit salty taste.  It's like shrimp cracker kind of thing.   According to the package-
GWISHIN:  It's shrimp?
WULF:  According to the package it's...cassava starch, whatever the hell that is... coconut oil, sugar, iodized salt, MSG-
GUMIHO:  MSG!!
WULF:  Cassava starch...hold on.   Ah, wheat flour, it's just wheat (I think this is wrong).
ÜBER OFFICER:  (probably getting really bored at this point)...Are we still recording?
WULF:  Yeah.  I think this is a killer snack.  I think it's awesome.  Gwishin, what do you give it?
GWISHIN:  5.  
ÜBER OFFICER:  I'd give it about a...what was the (inaudible)? 
GUMIHO:  Potato?
ÜBER OFFICER:  I'd give it about an 8.5.
WULF:  Wow, you really liked it!
ÜBER OFFICER:  The flavor is good.  But, you know...
GWISHIN:  Too strong.
ÜBER OFFICER:  No...just...the smell?  You know, you have to make a choice.  You're either going to eat that snack, or you're going to be able to talk to that girl at the party.
WULF:  (laughs) Haha yeah, those are tough life choices we face on a daily basis, as humans.
ÜBER OFFICER:  You've got to make a decision.  You're going to eat this stinky snack, or you're going to talk to the girl.
WULF:  I'd take the snack.  (Gumiho)?
GUMIHO:  8.5.
WULF:  8.5?  You really liked it!  I'm going to give a 9.  I think it's killer.  Anyway, in the meantime, I'm going to finish (this) one, then I'm going to finish the rest of the chicken crackling.
GUMIHO:  That's gross.

AVERAGE RATING:  7.75

Breadstix (cheese)




WULF: OK, so we're at the airport now and Gumiho and I are eating Breadstix Cheese by Nissin (however, I was mistaken, as this snack is actually made by Monde Nissin, a Filipino-based company not affiliated with the Nissin Foods corporation from Japan, but it still says Nissin on the package so I guess that's why I was confused).  It says at the bottom, "new look, same yummy taste!"  So, anyway, we're eating them.  (Gumiho), what do you think?
GUMIHO:  Um...it tastes really good, and I think it's for kids.  (It has a) rich cheese taste. which I really like.  
WULF:  (Uber Officer), what do you think?
ÜBER OFFICER:  I like the crunchy texture, like a breadstick, and the mild, cheesy flavor.  
WULF:  Yeah, you know, that's good.  That's very interesting that you said "breadstick", because I was kind of looking for a word...
ÜBER OFFICER:  It's called "breadstix" though. (laughs)
WULF:  Shit.  You got me.  OK, well anyway, I like that it tastes like a breadstick, but it's not overpowered by the cheese.  It's not too strong.  It's not like a Cheez-It.  At first you bite into it, and it's kind of a "bread-y" taste, almost kind of like a wafer-kind of a taste, or like an animal cracker, kind of chalky taste, but inside is a very subtle cheese taste that's really nice.  Not too strong, not too salty.  It's a delicious snack.  
GWISHIN:  I like it.  It's very soft, like, buttery...it says "cheese" on the cover, but I can't really taste cheese.  
WULF:  Well, I think the cheese taste is there but you can't taste it at first.  It's a subtle cheese aftertaste.  

Kind of a boring presentation, but really tasty!!

GWISHIN:  I can taste more butter than cheese. 
WULF:  Yeah, I think you're right.  Maybe more butter than cheese.  
GWISHIN:  But they should change the name from "breadstix" to "butter".  
WULF:  To just "butter"?  Not even "breadstix"?
GWISHIN:  No, "Breadstix Butter"!
WULF:  "Breadstix Butter".
GWISHIN:  Not "Breadstix Cheese".
WULF:  Yeah, that would maybe be better.  Or would it be "butter"?  (blahhhh)  OK, any final thoughts, (Gumiho)?  What do you give it out of 10?
GUMIHO:  Mmm...they have some iron here.
GWISHIN:  Iron! (laughs)
WULF:  That's good to know.  In case you're iron-deficient, look for Breadstix Cheese.
GUMIHO:  It contains some protein here.
WULF:  You don't have to read the ingredients list!  Out of 10, what do you give it?
GWISHIN:  I really liked it.
GUMIHO:  9?
WULF:  Wow!
GUMIHO:  9.5!
WULF:  Hoooooly shit!
GWISHIN:  A 9.
ÜBER OFFICER:  I thought it was pretty good.  Maybe like a 9, yeah.
WULF:  OK, a 9 is like "knock your socks off!"  "Pretty good" is like a 7.
ÜBER OFFICER:  Yeah, it's a pretty good 9.
WULF:  Well, I'm just going to say...Uber Officer is only being like that because he's sick.
GWISHIN:  No, this is the best Filipino snack ever.

ÜBER OFFICER:  It is good, yeah.
WULF:  Is it better than Chik'n Skin?
GWISHIN:  I hated that.
UBER OFFICER:  Oh, yeah!
WULF:  Is it better than-
ÜBER OFFICER:  It's better than all the ones we've tried so far.
WULF:  Is it better than Pee Wee's Chili?!
UBER OFFICER:  Yeah.
WULF:  OK, well anyway, I'm going to give this snack an 8.5, I think it's very good.  I think a slight improvement would be breadsticks, cheese, and jalapeno.  I think that would be really good.
GUMIHO:  Nooooo.
WULF:  Well, you guys are idiots.  Or it would be "Breadstix Spicy Nachos", I think that would be really good, too.  It needs a little bit of a kick, I think, to it.
ÜBER OFFICER:  It's pretty addicting.
WULF:  (Gumiho and Gwishin think this is a bad idea)  Well, it would be nice to have the option.  Maybe we should write them and tell them that they should make a "Breadstix Spicy Nacho Cheese" option.   Anything else?
GUMIHO:  Try it in the Philippines!

AVERAGE RATING: 9

MOVIE: FENG SHUI



While this isn't an amazing movie, it's kind of interesting from a cultural perspective.   I have no idea if this is actually an accurate representation of the average Filipino when it comes to superstitions, but I've noticed that throughout this movie there is a lot of talk about luck, demons, Christian and "Eastern" mysticism, cursed objects, etc., but with very little in the way of skepticism or anyone questioning the supernatural events that transpire throughout the film.   I'm also not sure if this was intentional on the part of the filmmakers themselves, and even though I may have happened to be in the Philippines recently, I'm definitely not an expert on the Pinoy cultural attitudes about this type of stuff.

No, this is not a lost Alejandro Jodorowsky
masterpiece.   

Anyway, the story is about an affluent family that lives in the suburbs and the mom (Kris Aquino, by far the best of the main actors in this film) ends up getting ahold of a bagua mirror.   While she initially experiences a bunch of good luck, a bad shit starts happening to her and the people around her.   In addition, weird supernatural wackiness starts happening like ghosts/zombies popping up out of nowhere, people start dying in ways that relate to their Chinese zodiac sign, you get the picture.   There's also a bunch of family drama about infidelity, the awkward position of having to choose between your mistress and your family, etc...basically, the kind of crapola you have to deal with on a daily basis if you're living in Manila.

Anyway, the highlight of the movie for me I'd say is actually at near the end of the movie, which involves a woman getting blasted with a shotgun.  Now, I know that sounds horrible for me to say, and the scene I'm assuming is supposed to be shocking and violent, but...the problem is that when the woman is shot, she literally flies back like 20 feet in the air, which caused me to burst out laughing and re-watch about 27 times.  It only made it worse when it happened again, but this time to a man, and he flies absurdly in the air as well which unfortunately reduces the "harrowing" atmosphere it seems like they're going for in this scene.

According to this source (the final
authority on anything having to do
with ancient Chinese astrology, if you
ask me), if I was a character in this movie
the image above would be the last thing
I would ever see (born in '86)!!

I'd also like to mention that parts of soundtrack for whatever reason kind of remind me of a cross between "The Return" (off of Ancient Rites' Dim Carcosa (2001), one of the first metal albums I ever ordered and metal bands I got into!) and the OST to The Room (2003).   Some parts wouldn't even make bad dungeon synth if they were reworked a bit!

So in closing...would I recommend this movie?  Not really, although it isn't a bad film!  It's got a few "scary" moments and some unusual twists and story developments, but it's not exactly essential viewing.   All in all, I'd say if you got together some friends to watch this film along with some Pinoy snacks (see above) and a bunch of Red Horse (San Miguel is for posers), I'd say you're in a fun time!   I hear there's a sequel too, but I can't vouch for its quality.   I would have watched it and reviewed it for this entry, but at this point I feel like this is long enough and I was just ready to get it over with.

Till next time!!

Do you want MORE Black Metal Banchan??  Check out our previous entries in the series below:
- Part 1
- Part 2
- Part 3

Phantoms of the Orient: An Evening with Vhan of Aek Gwi!!

This picture was taken from Vhan's recent attempt
at a black metal version of "to be, or not to be..."

I don't think I've seen the sun in days.   Maybe weeks.   This has actually been a pretty warm December so far here in a land known for its relatively cold winters.   It's already the middle of December, and so far it's just been kind of cold and wet outside (except for a brief snow flurry that immediately melted).   While I am excited for the inevitable onslaught of ice and snow (perfect for grim black metal, of course), I'm taking advantage of the current shitty weather situation by listening to a recent discovery in my exploration of Korean black metal-- a mysterious entity known as 厄鬼 (Aek Gwi).   The shadowy figure behind Aek Gwi is a veteran in the Korean black metal scene, and gone by several various pseudonyms, but currently he is known simply as Vhan.   Vhan has had quite a lot on his plate within the last few years.   Not only has he been involved in various other bands/projects in the past (besides Aek Gwi), but he also (up until a few months ago at the time of this writing) ran Misanthropic Art Productions (formerly known as The Black 666 Productions) and its sub-label, Berserk Ritual Productions, as well as running and doing artwork for Misanthropic Art Production's art and design team, Misanthropic Artworks (which, by the way, is some of the best metal artwork I've ever seen in my life!!!   Truly amazing stuff!!!   Oddly enough, he's also done some art and logos for various NSBM bands, but we won't get into that here).   I'm sure he also has a day job as well.   Busy dude!

As I was saying, I haven't seen the sun in days.   I can't tell if it's because it's just winter and an especially rainy time right now or if it's because of the insane amounts of pollution that China has allegedly been spewing all over East Asia (more so than usual), but the outside has either been dismal, cold, and wet, or just surreal, like right now where everything I can see outside my window in this sprawling Asian metropolis seems to have a strange yellow hue.   Anyway, it's the perfect setting for a Korean horror movie :)

Which brings us to Aek Gwi.   The latest album that was released earlier this year, Forest of Ghost (could have used a bit of editing with that title), is some really cool ritualistic black/doom metal, kind of similar to stuff by Nortt, Xasthur, Wormphlegm, Blood of the Black Owl, and maybe even Beherit as well.   I think I've talked about this before, but I remember truly realizing the potential of this kind of metal not just as some shit to listen to in a dark room in order to have a quasi-mystical experience (which I wholeheartedly support, don't get me wrong), but also as a killer soundtrack to play as a substitute soundtrack for movies as well.   I haven't done this for Aek Gwi yet (not sure which movie or film clip I would pick), but I know at least know for a fact that both Wormphlegm and Electric Wizard make excellent soundtracks to Conan the Barbarian (1982) and Häxan (1922), respectively.

When listening to this album, I feel like it's absolutely essential to isolate yourself in like your room or somewhere with all the lights out, making it as dark as possible, in order to really get the full experience.   Maybe even light a candle or something.   Next, put on your headphones or earbuds and allow your imagination to wander...

For me, I began to envision a scene which takes place during a rainy, warm summer night at a Buddhist temple in the middle of a forest somewhere in East Asia.   However, inside a strange, perhaps unorthodox, (un?)holy ritual is taking place, in which a small group of monks are attempting to either speak with and/or summon the spirits of the dead.   Eventually, the spirits are conjured forth, but they are malevolent and chaotic, and the monks there begin to chant and play the flute or maybe some other traditional musical instruments in order to try and control, or at least pacify, the spirits so that they can properly communicate.   As to what exactly is supposed to be gained from communicating with the dead in this particular situation is unknown, but the monks are hoping to perhaps at least receive some sort of message or (inevitably) nightmarish hallucination/vision.  At this point everyone is kind of subdued and on their own "trips", so to speak, as the spirits of the deceased communicate telepathically with them as the temple walls and roof creak and groan due to the heavy wind that has recently picked up (despite the fact that they're in the middle of the woods).            
Interview conducted via internet in December 2015.


Interview:

WULF: Who are you?   Please give us a brief history of Aek Gwi.   What does "Aek Gwi" mean?   Why do you use Hanja and not Hangul when writing the band name?

VHAN:  Greetings!   First of all, thanks for the interview.   I think this is the first interview for Aek Gwi.   The band name "Aek Gwi" is written "액귀" in Korean and "厄鬼" or "縊鬼" in Chinese (edit: maybe he's talking about this?  I'm not sure), which is a ghost associated with suicide in Chinese mythology as well as from the Korean novel Toji.   It's a ghost which brings you misfortune.   In Chinese mythology, the 縊鬼 seeks vengeance or revenge and will drive you to kill yourself by hanging when it appears to you.

WULF:  Is Forest of Ghost a concept album?   Thematically, I imagine this album is about ghosts, death, etc.   Is it about any ghost stories or metaphors in particular?   What were you hoping to accomplish with this album?   What is the message?

VHAN:  There is no message with the album.   I just made the "Forest of Ghost" album like a horror movie.   I want to expose the concept of Asian ghosts to other people in the world.   In the East, these ghosts are more scary than vampires, zombies, or Satan.   That's why I chose these ghost mythologies as the concept for my black metal music (joke).  


WULF:  Are you interested in Korean ghost stories?   What is your opinion on Korean and/or Asian horror movies in general?   I just watched A Tale of Two Sisters (장화, 홍련) (2013) and thought it was a great movie!!

VHAN:  Honestly, I don't like Korean ghost movies or stories that much, because they're really boring and generic/played-out.   There are a lot more bad horror movies than good ones.   There are also ghost stories on the internet too that are obviously fake, and I fucking hate that.   So personally, I prefer classic Western horror movies over the Korean ones.   For me, I was really impressed by the Korean movie 혈의 누 (Blood Rain), which is actually not a horror movie.   The music of Aek Gwi is influenced by the TV series 전설의 고향 (Ghost Stories).   It's also a classic Korean horror novel which I read when I was young.   The concept of the music of Aek Gwi is also from the Korean folk story 장화, 홍련 (The Story of Janghwa and Hongryeon).

WULF:  Why did you close your label and your art production and stop doing all your other bands besides Aek Gwi?   What happened?

VHAN:  I already have mentioned about my financial situation (as the reason why I had to stop) on Facebook and my label's website; my domestic economical situation isn't good. My income has been in bad shape and rent has been rising.  Realistically, I couldn't keep the black metal label as my primary job in Korea.   I've stopped making music temporarily and sold my instruments to make cash, but I will never give up.  That's why I don't do the music now.   As for my other band, Origin of Plague, I went back over the music and felt like the music was pretty shit, so that's why I want to compose again.   As for Aek Gwi, I'm still writing music for that.   If I have some extra time or money then I'll record more music.   As for my artwork, I don't have enough time and there are so many people who are better artists than me, so I feel like "what's the point?"   So I don't get any orders for artwork, and also I just want to have the freedom to draw what I want, not for a job.

WULF:   Has Aek Gwi ever played live, or is this something that you are interested in for the future?

VHAN:  It's important for bands to play live, but I'm not going to have a live show because I don't want to be around people.

This is the artwork for that upcoming split he's talking about
with 头发河 (Harrfluss), Begräbnis, 纳骨堂 (Ossuary),
 and, of course, Aek Gwi.

WULF:  Do you believe in ghosts, or have you ever seen a ghost?   What is your opinion on death, the possibility of an afterlife, etc.?   Do you fear death?

VHAN:  It would be a lie if I said I'm not afraid of death.   I've also never seen a ghost in real life, but I've had my own strange experiences.   I kind of believe in the existence of spirits, but not necessarily 100%.

WULF:  Is there any literature you would recommend for your fans to check out which can help us understand your music better?   What books or writings have influenced your music and/or your life?

VHAN:  I already answered this question earlier.   If you want to understand the concept of my music, you can see the TV series 전설의 고향.   I think my earlier music isn't good because I was drinking and didn't make enough of an effort, but now that I'm making more down-tempo music and I'm influenced by Beherit, Goatlord, Nortt, Teeth of the Lions Rule the Divine, Enemite, and Hellhammer.   I'm most influenced by the Chinese dark ambient band Enemite.   This is the band that I respect the most.   It shows us what Oriental horror is in a truly extreme way.   Not long ago, Dani of Goatwarex suggested I do a split with the black metal artists Harrfluss (project of Li Chao), Aek Gwi, Begräbnis (from Japan) and 纳骨堂 (Ossuary).   I think this opportunity doesn't come that often, especially with the best Chinese metal label, Goatwarex, so I'm really happy about that.

WULF:  What are your plans for the future? Why did you decide to stop Misanthropic Art Productions and Misanthropic Artworks? Do you have any plans to revive your other bands or start new bands?

VHAN:  I don't know about any future plans.   I just have a really busy life, and maybe for some while I can't do black metal because of my work.   The first thing for me is living a normal life.   Maybe you know this if you live in Korea.

WULF:  Those are all the questions I have, thanks so much for the interview! Any final comments?

Thanks for the fun questions, there's nothing else that I want to add.

Edit:  Of course, before I finished writing this article, it started to snow, which kind of ruined the whole eerie, mysterious vibe I was going for.  Now it's just an absolutely beautiful winter wonderland outside and makes me want to listen to some majestic frosty black metal or something.   Anyway, winter is no longer coming, it's here!! :D   

Special thanks to Gumiho (구미호) for help with the translation!

Listen and support Aek Gwi's music: https://aekgwi.bandcamp.com/
Keep updated about Aek Gwi: https://www.facebook.com/aekgwi

Black Metal Banchan - Part 2: Oathean + Doritos

For Round 2 of the Black Metal Banchan (if you don't know what banchan is, here's the Wikipedia link for it you lazy fuck :D).   Anyway, I chose this name for the series because it's fairly similar to, say, the classy smorgasbord (Sweden), the potpourri (France), or even the all-you-eat Chinese buffet of gluttony and self-loathing (USA).   There's a wide variety of food, and something for everyone!   Talking about black metal and snacks together are similar to this same concept, in that they go together quite well and you're bound to find something that you like, whether it's a certain band, a certain snack, or a combination of the two together!   I don't know about you guys, but for me personally, I love come homing home, immediately stripping down to my underwear, and putting on some black metal while enjoying a nice snack.   So who knows?!  You may just discover your new favorite snack and/or black metal band by following me on my journey deep into the mysterious heart of both the black metal AND snack scenes here in good ol' South Korea!!  

When I played Diablo for the first time (I think I was about
10 or 11), I remember being so scared to go into that monastery.
You just knew there was a bunch of evil shit in there waiting
to kick your ass.   I can't believe I didn't shit my pants when I
encountered The Butcher that first time.   Anyway, the
Tristram theme may quite possibly be my favorite song
from a video game of all time!

Last time, we talked about two classics- one was a classic Korean black metal band (Sad Legend), and the other was a classic snack (Cheetos).   This time, we're going to talk about two more classics:  arguably Korea's most popular black metal band thus far, Oathean, and arguably the most popular snack chips in the world (Doritos).   Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking.   Wulf, when are we going to actually delve into the KVLT Korean snacks and black metal???   Why are you playing it safe and just sticking to the obvious stuff?  Well, just you wait!   Just like in Diablo (or seemingly any RPG really), you start off with what's familiar and easy before eventually journeying deeper and deeper into the ominous dungeon below the abandoned monastery outside of town.   

Oathean - The Eyes of Tremendous Sorrow (1998)

Interesting album cover, but I have absolutely no idea what's
supposed to be going on here.   Seriously!   Google
it or take a closer look and try to figure out what the deal is.
Anyway, it's still a cool cover, even if it is kind of weird.

Coming out the same year as their black metal brethren Sad Legend's (see previous post in this series) debut album, Oathean instead take a different, more death-metal and folk inspired approach to their brand of melodic black metal.   However, there are some similarities as well, such as the melodramatic, mournful guitar-driven melodies, the atmospheric keyboards,   What really makes this album stand out are the inclusion of traditional Korean folk instruments, such as the daegeum.   Unfortunately, I'm not entirely sure if the band was able to find someone who was able to successfully translate the song titles into proper English, so you're stuck with song titles like "Transparent Blue Light, So Too Much Tearful", "In Fear With Shiver", and my personal favorite, "The Rotten Egg Smell Stuck on My Belly".
ESL song titles aside, the music itself is quite well done!

I'm pretty sure this is an older pic of Oathean, but I
don't know if it's the same lineup as the one on
"The Eyes of Tremendous Sorrow".

Both Sad Legend and Oathean made their debuts in what is still considered a tiny metal scene (and played black metal, at that), so, with the exception of Scandinavia and Finland, we would all understand if these records were garbage.   Obviously, they're not at the same level as, say, "In the Nightside Eclipse" or "De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas", but the quality is quite good considering that before these albums came out, there was very little in the way of a Korean black metal (or extreme metal, for that matter) scene.

A good representation of what this album is all about can be found in the song "In Fear With Shiver" (haha it's hard to even write that with a straight face), which contains a lot of really interesting stuff.   Adventurous, wintry melodies, a sorrowful acoustic guitar and daegeum accompaniment, Kim Do-su's raspy howl that reminds me of a wounded, dying wolf...it's a really interesting song!   Below I've posted a live version, and you can see how they replaced the daegeum part with their female vocalist (Lim Ji-nah) singing the melody instead, which is kind of cool.   Also, check out Kim Do-su's passionate vocal performance as well, especially at the end!



I feel like maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I'm starting to notice that these Korean black metal bands seem to be channeling the feeling of han (see my last post, and/or Wikipedia for a brief mention of what han is) in their music.   Yeah, I know that ALL black metal bands are attempting to channel these feelings of depression, isolation, hopelessness, etc. in their music, but the fact that Koreans straight up have a unique word that captures all these emotions/mental states (Sad Legend even have a song named after it) perhaps makes it worthy of at least briefly discussing or mentioning.    Remember, these albums were coming out in the late 1990s, before the whole DSBM (Depressive Suicidal Black Metal) trend became all the rage.   In the '90s, black metal was all about Satan, blasphemy, and misanthropy.   While I highly doubt these Korean black metal bands had any influence on the early DSBM artists and trendsetters, there's something to be said for this original, "sad" take on black metal.   I'm not entirely sure what the lyrics are to this album, but they're definitely coming from a dark place in the lyricist's psyche, and you can hear it in the music.   Pretty cool, and definitely an overlooked, unique detail in attempting to understand Korean black metal.   As I'm writing this, I just checked back on an Oathean video interview with ROKrock (a now seemingly defunct Korean rock/metal site) conducted a couple years ago, and it looks like the interview touched on this (han is mentioned) a bit as well, in that the first album especially feels very "Korean".   If you're interested, check it out!

Anyway, I have no idea what the band is up to these days, as I guess there's been a bunch of drama and turmoil in the Oathean camp as of late.   I probably shouldn't go into the details in this post (for now, at least), but as of this writing I'd say the status of the band is unknown.   Too bad, as many would argue that they're probably the best, or at least the most popular, Korean extreme metal band.

Recommended tracks:  "In Fear With Shiver", "The Eyes of Tremendous Sorrow", and "Punishment of Being Alone, Its Cruel Strength Breaks Me Away".

OK, enough dorky black metal chat!   Let's talk snacks!

Doritos Mango Salsa

I had to take a picture of these myself because
apparently they're so obscure that they failed
to show up in image searches for BOTH
Google and Naver.  That's how you know
I'm really bringing you the true underground of
the snack scene here in Korea.

OK, now these are seriously funky.   Possibly the strangest chip I've ever tasted, honestly, and I really can't decide if I like it or not.   At first it has this really cool salty, sweet (mango flavor), slightly spicy, zesty lime flavor if that makes any sense at all.   However, after a couple seconds it gets pretty sweet, and the aftertaste is kind of gross.   After waiting a bit, the sweetness goes away and you're left with a mild spicy kick that lingers for awhile.   Yeah, kind of like the Cheetos Honey Cheese I talked about in the last post, these wouldn't be too bad if they weren't so fucking sweet.   Bleh, yeah overall I'm not feeling these at all.   They started off quite tasty, though!
5.5/10

Doritos Nacho Cheese 

I'm pretty sure these are the same as the American nacho
cheese ones, they taste exactly the same.   Unfortunately,

I didn't take this picture, just found it on
Google.   As you can tell, Doritos at this time
were promoting the new Avengers movie, so
each of the different bags had different
Avengers characters on them.   I guess this
Captain America's go-to snack of choice, except
I imagined he'd be more of a Jacked Ranch Dipped
Hot Wings guy.   Oh well, maybe just in Korea?

these are as good as it gets here in Korea.   Also, these are the hardest to find as well, or at least it seems that way.   Most convenience or grocery stores only carry like the honey chili flavor (ugh) or the Cool Ranch, which is fine.   However, I guess it's kind of the same complaint I had about the lack of an original Cheetos flavor available...when you're in the mood for just some good ol' cheesy corn chips/snacks, it always seems like are out of the question.   In fact, I could just be getting paranoid, but I'm pretty sure all of the convenience stores near me just straight up discontinued carrying Doritos altogether!   I've obviously been in this country too long because A) I actually noticed that they stopped stocking Doritos, and B) I'm seriously considering writing to Frito-Lay and/or Lotte (who I guess is in charge of Doritos production in South Korea or something) to tell them that these flavors are wack!   Haha I doubt they'll listen to me or even respond, but who knows?!  I may even get some insider info about upcoming Doritos snacks.   Maybe they'll even put ME on the cover of the Doritos bag!!   Yes, that's it!!  I'll be famous!!!!  MONEY!!!  WOMEN!!!!  POWER!!!! IT WILL ALL BE MINE!!!!!!
8/10

Doritos Honey Chili

Starting to notice a pattern with the
packaging?     

While the traditional Doritos corn chip taste is there and I dig the mildly spicy chili flavor, unfortunately I feel like the honey taste is also slightly too strong and makes for a weird combination, aftertaste, and lingering flavor on your lips that you can taste if you lick them.   Yeah after awhile these taste fairly funky, but definitely not as weird/bad as the mango salsa one.   Still not as good as the typical nacho cheese flavor that you'd find anywhere in the US.   However, you'll find THESE anywhere they sell Doritos, especially to capitalize on the whole "honey butter" craze that's been all the rage here these past couple of years, although apparently everyone's starting to get sick of it now (thank fuck...I've never been a fan).
6.5/10

Doritos Cool Ranch
This is actually kind of interesting from a psychological perspective.   When I first came to Korea, I didn't really pay attention to the Doritos flavors because I guess I just never really saw them on sale, and when I did I think I tried maybe the honey chili flavor and wasn't very impressed.   Anyway, at one point I was really hungry and happened to be in a convenient store that had some Doritos in stock, but my only choices were the honey chili flavor and then some other flavor that looked like mayonnaise or something (Cool Ranch, obviously) but I think I must have been in a hurry because I didn't really pay attention to what flavor they were, other than I knew that they weren't the honey chili and so they were most likely a better flavor.   Upon trying them, I remember later being kind of disappointed...until I realized halfway through the bag that the front of the bag did indeed say "cool ranch" (in Hangul, "쿨렌치"), but since it was in Hangul I guess I just didn't bother reading it and just went by the mayonnaise/cream picture underneath it as an indicator of the flavor they were going for.

I took this pic, but I have no idea why it looks
almost like a black and white picture.   The
bag has just a weird color I guess, plus the
lighting in my room is awful.

Anyway, I felt like a moron, because back home I of course would have no problem eating Cool Ranch Doritos.   So was I not that into these because of the different packaging, or are they actually inferior to American Cool Ranch Doritos?   Personally, I'm going to go with the latter.   I'm eating them right now, and even though it's been years since I've eaten the American version of the Cool Ranch Doritos, I'm pretty sure the Korean version is the same.   So yeah, that's kind of interesting, I suppose!   Or maybe I'm just losing my mind.
7.5/10

There were actually a few other flavors it looks like I missed the boat on.   One of them I never got a chance to try (Yogurt-flavored Doritos, (huh?!)), and the others (Doritos B.O.M.B. (I guess similar to Roulette which you guys had in the States?) and Extreme Barbecue (Korean-style, of course!)) I'm pretty sure got pulled from production awhile ago because I haven't seen them on sale for a long time.   Anyway, sorry I missed those!   As a gesture of conciliation, here's the Korean commercial for Doritos B.O.M.B.:



Going to be interesting to see how Doritos play out in Korea in the future.   These current flavors just aren't going to cut it.   I have no idea about the numbers so I could be full of shit, but for what it's worth, I never see Koreans eating Doritos (or Cheetos, for that matter).   Frito-Lay and/or Lotte need to step up their game, because I know these could be huge here!

Black Metal Banchan - Part 1: Sad Legend + Cheetos

Metal magazines and websites always talk about metal and beer, but what about metal and SNACKS?   Yeah, I know that anyone who listens to the excellent (and my favorite) podcast Illogical Contraption knows that they always do a snack chat segment during their show, but I always feel like I'm missing out on all the good stuff they're talking about because I'm not in the US right now!   Well, I've decided to make matters into my own hands by not just doing my own snack chat (with local Korean snacks since that's where I'm living at the moment), but also making it relevant to metalheads the world over by exploring the mysterious realm of the Korean black metal underground.   Obviously, Korea doesn't have a world-famous METAL scene at all, let alone a black metal one, but that doesn't mean there are some hidden gems lurking amidst the shadows...

Sad Legend - Sad Legend (1998)

First of all, that's a pretty cool album cover.   Yeah it looks a bit amateurish, and the Sad Legend logo is lame as fuck, but it definitely makes sense when you listen to the music itself.   Even if you didn't know this album was by a Korean band, this still feels kind of "exotic" or unique.   Being both atmospheric and melodic, it's kind of reminds me of like old-school Graveworm or something like that (even though most of Graveworm's stuff actually came out after this album was released).   Anyway, what's cool about this album is that it's absolutely drenched in gloomy keyboards, wailing female vocals, haunting male clean vocals, enchanting melodies, and mournful guitar leads, with all the other typical characteristics of the genre such as rasps, blastbeats, etc.  It all feels very late '90s and slightly dated, but I feel like that's part of its charm.

I really wish I could provide a link to their Bandcamp or something, but I have a feeling this CD is long out of print (it's going for between $55-$200 on Amazon right now!) and the band seems to be currently inactive.   Maybe it's on iTunes?   I don't know.   Anyway, you can find it on Youtube (sounds like a low quality upload, but whatever), so check it out if you want!

Sad Legend - classic lineup

The cover art also perfectly captures the mood, I'd say.   I feel like overall thematically what they're going for is represented in the title of the first track, "Han".   In this case, I believe what han is referring to is the Korean phenomenon of a kind of collective feeling or consciousness of the Korean people who constantly feel "oppression and isolation in the face of insurmountable odds (the overcoming of which is beyond the nation's capabilities on its own). It connotes aspects of lament and unavenged injustice" (Wikipedia).

I'm not exactly sure which incarnation
of Sad Legend this is, but thought it
was a fun pic so I decided to include it.

While the validity of this as an actual psychological phenomenon is questionable, my Korean girlfriend (her Malicious Intent black metal horde name is Gumiho) assures me that it's a real thing.   I feel like the music definitely seems to capture that emotion.   While it would have been cool for the band to maybe incorporate some traditional Korean instrumentation or something to further drive this concept home as "authentically Korean" or whatever, I think it's still really cool the way it is.   Anyway, even though I don't really listen to this kind of music anymore, I still found this to be a good album and worth checking out if you're interested in Korean metal or you're looking for some melodramatic, misty-forest-under-a pale-moon-at-midnight melodic black metal.

Your typical cheonyeo gwishin, being all creepy.
If you wake up in the middle of the night to find
THIS standing in the middle of your room,
you may be in trouble.

Also, I could be mistaken, but the woman on the cover reminds me of a cheonyeo gwishin (virgin ghost), a spirit that is commonly featured in many East Asian ghost stories, and, nowadays, movies.   If you've ever seen the American remakes of like Ringu (The Ring) or Ju-on (The Grudge), you'll know what I'm talking.   The girl/woman with the dirty long hair over her face, batshit insane facial expression, and contorted body lurching towards you?   That's a cheonyeo gwishin.   She may not look so bad on the album cover, but just do a quick google image search to see the actual face they have hiding under that creepy mane.   I wouldn't advise you to do this before attempting to go to sleep for the night.  

 Recommended tracks: "Han", "Dawn of Despair", and "Realm of the Soulless".  

Korean Cheetos

Surprisingly, this music seemed to go rather well with the snacks I'll be talking about tonight.   "Why?" you may ask.   Because we're talking about a legendary snack that's in a sad state of affairs right now here in The Land of the Morning Calm.   Korea, we need to talk about your Cheetos situation.   The trend right now is to have everything be honey-butter flavored or sweet and salty, and Korean Cheetos are no exception.   For one, everyone knows that Cheetos should be cheesy, or at least have that option should you want just some good ol' original Cheetos.   However, in Korea, sadly, you don't have that option unless you go to an international mart or something.   From what I've seen at least, you unfortunately only have three flavors to choose from on a regular basis: BBQ, Spicy & Sweet, and Honey Cheese (ugh).   

"Spicy" and Sweet

Let's start with the Spicy & Sweet first.   Honestly, it kind of sucks.   There's too strong of an imbalance with the taste, with it being too sweet and not spicy or salty enough.   In fact, if I didn't know that it was supposed to be spicy in the first place I wouldn't have even noticed.   If you thought maybe you wouldn't be able to handle it because you're in Korea (they love their spicy food!), not to mention also the fact that Chester Cheeto himself is belching flames on the front of the packaging, I can strongly assure you that your mouth will be fine.   It even has spicy peppers and garlic too on there, presumably to emphasize its heat!  C'mon guys!
5/10

BBQ...I have no idea what the fuck is supposed to be
going on in this artwork.

Next up is the BBQ.   First of all, this should be amazing because Korean BBQ kicks ass and is one of the best ways to spend an evening with your bros.   In fact, one of the best things about Korean metal shows is that afterwards everyone (bands and their fans) goes out for BBQ afterwards, all the while drinking plenty of Korean beer and gross soju (we'll talk about those another time).   Anyway, a slam dunk for Cheetos right?   Wrong!!  This shit is fucking wack, especially if you compare it to how great Korean BBQ is!   The Cheetos version of Korean BBQ is completely underwhelming- it has a weak taste, it's too sweet, and doesn't really taste like BBQ at all.   It kind of reminds me of like a shitty version of American BBQ chips or something.   It just doesn't really leave much of an impression, other than "blah".   Koreans deserve a Cheetos snack that truly represents what Korean BBQ is all about!   That moksal (pork chop) grilling on the packaging is false advertising!
5.5/10

Finally, we have the dreaded Honey Cheese...

...actually...these aren't too bad!   I spoke too soon!   I had assumed that they were going to be garbage because of the previous two disappointments, but these are surprisingly decent!   They're still a bit too sweet, but at least you can actually kind of taste the traditional Cheetos cheese flavoring or whatever insane chemical shit they use to get Cheetos to taste the way they do.   However, they're still too sweet (too much honey flavoring) and not salty or cheesy enough, and I find myself enjoying it less and less the more I eat.   But then again...ahhh! I don't know what to think, can't make up my mind.   I just wish there was, at the very least, a regular, original Cheetos option.   Anyway, this is arguably the least offensive of the bunch.
6.5/10

Black Metal of the Emerald Triangle: An Interview With Lycanthromancer and Skorpius of Miasmic!!

Interview conducted via email in July 2015.

Listen and support Miasmic's music: https://miasmic.bandcamp.com/
Keep updated about Miasmic: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Miasmic/185330898175023?fref=ts

WULF:  From what I can tell, this is your first interview.   You have been in the game for almost 10 years now!   Why so mysterious?  Tell us about yourselves!

LYCANTHROMANCER:  Rising as a malevolent force from the darkness & hoary mists of these ancient Redwoods, 'MIASMIC' was forged in the year 2006. Iishtok and Lycanthromancer (then Lycanthropizer) spearheaded the project with previous percussionist, Volkane (aka S.M. Azazel from Unholy Crucifix) as a polemic reflection against the modern world. Black metal was ( and is) the appropriate platform to cast our nefarious onslaught unto the decadent cultural malaise that surrounds us. We began to hone our skills & perfect our craft of audial decimation to contend with the monotonous grain of the collective. Decisions were made and new musicians sought. Skorpius joined our ranks in 2010 & Altar in 2014. We stand unified and disciplined, as disciples of the Miasmic writ.

WULF: According to metal-archives.com, one of your lyrical themes is "transcendence".   Would you say this is accurate?   If so, can you give us any insights as to what this means exactly?   Also, are there any specific spiritual/occult beliefs that are shared by all the members of the band?   In recent years, it seems like black metal (especially USBM) has begun to split away from the traditional Satanic tropes and motifs of black metal and has become more focused on psychology, philosophy (especially existentialism and nihilism), or simply just nature itself.   How does Miasmic fit into all of this, if at all?

LYCANTHROMANCER: Lyrically we have touched upon the aspect of what lies beyond the corporeal world, those realms not known to the living or that which is unbound to our earthly perceptions. To leave the temporal plane and gain insight & forbidden knowledge into other dimensions that lie just beyond mortal reach. Hymns such as "Gravemoss", "Ephemeral Lych Gate of the Miasmic Emerger", and "In a Tomb of Flesh, I am Buried Above Ground" were written about such explorations & disdain for our fettered existence. New opuses such as "Insular Pinnacles & Visceral Divination" have more to do with spiritual ascension. To be seated upon a higher throne beyond time & being, far from the incongruous contemporary world in which we unfortunately inhabit currently. As individuals we have our own varied personal beliefs, we speak for ourselves and not as a whole. We unify under the banner of Miasmic due to our mutual beliefs and interests; self-righteousness, scorn, wrath, extreme music, elitism to name a few is what binds us together as a group. For we are creatures of the same ilk. As far as the traditional sense of "satanic" black metal, this has become more or less a pantomime. A provocative attempt at joining the herd mentality of the "scene". Now I don't mean to write it off as such completely for there are those who remain true to a Luciferian or esoteric paragon of devotion, but too many go in halfhearted with such doctrines or are only concerned with the alluring image. Miasmic stands against humanity's current metaphysical stagnation. Let us be enlightened and attuned with mannaz & resuscitate heathen volition which our predecessors purged through fervent religious swindling. We sonically embody consecration through the path of darkness.

WULF:  Your live show involves animal skulls, candelabras, spikes, and, of course, soul-crushing black/death metal!   Unfortunately, I haven't personally had the pleasure of witnessing one of your shows in the flesh, but I have good friends who can attest to your powerful live conjuring. What are you hoping to accomplish with these live assaults/rituals?   What would you say to those who are curious about attending one of your shows?   What can they expect?

LYCANTHROMANCER: Ornaments & tools used within our formulae. We seek to rekindle the bestial flame in the hearts of our spectators; adulation is irrelevant, awakening is key.  Macabre substance & barbaric imagery only enforces the affirmation we evoke. Each show a ritual and each song a passage in the tome of our black work. Other extreme manifestations will come to fruition in the near future. For now one can expect cryptic somber ambiance amidst desolate cacophony.

WULF:  Humboldt County is absolutely fucking gorgeous (according to my friends and the internet, I haven't been there personally).   Is there any specific way you draw influence from nature, such as through exploration, ritual, mind-expanding chemicals (you are in Humboldt, after all :D ), etc.?   

LYCANTHROMANCER: The call of the wild is embedded within our persona. To wander behind the redwood curtain and behold the grandeur of aeons is truly inspiring. We venerate & translate our homage through an audial medium, an ode to the ancients. The wellspring of influence flows from our return to the resemblance of the primeval & exploring the oldest remnants of the land. Whilst we have partaken the psychedelic offerings of the soil, they have served as enhancers to our personal means.

WULF:   I'm always interested in a band's non-musical influences much more than any musical ones.   Themes, atmosphere, and lyrics should be just as important the music!   Is there any literature/film/non-musical stuff that your listeners can check out that will enhance their understanding/experience of your music?   Also, is there a chance you will ever release the official lyrics for your music?

LYCANTHROMANCER:  Agreed, the literary weaving of mysticism is paramount to the art in which we exsanguinate from our psyche. We have drawn inspiration from the works of Evola, Nietzsche, Crowley, Jung, & Pagan ideology to bate. A nihilistic/ atavist perspective is desired. Whatever stirs the waters of our intellect. Upon the topic of lyrics we would definitely like to incorporate them within our releases yet as of late we have rushed our ephemera. Those who seek to gaze upon our text must simply contact us.

SKORPIUS: I think I've always been drawn towards art, literature, and film that explores abstract, supernatural, and dark or grotesque themes. Some favorites include H.P. Lovecraft, Nietzsche, Stephen King, Clive Barker, David Lynch, Terry Gilliam, Salvador Dali, and H.R. Giger. 

WULF:  I'd like to go back a bit into your past.   Miasmic has been around since 2006, but you finally got a permanent bass player (Altar) just last year.   How did you find this dude, and is he involved with any other bands?   Is the metal scene small there, or were you just waiting to find "the right person"?  Also, you mentioned a few years ago on your Facebook page that you had found a bass player for one of your live shows.   Did this ever work out?  I can only ever find pictures of you guys performing as a three-piece.

LYCANTHROMANCER: The metal scene here is rather minuscule with any worthwhile musicians being transitory (we are located in a college town). Few have been auditioned with none being exemplary throughout the years. Miasmic remained a strong force to be reckoned with as a three piece. However, we felt limited with what we could instigate live as a trio. Until we met Altar. Altar approached us sometime last year & inquired about us needing a bass player. He auditioned, quickly picked up our material, and exhibited the dedication we sought in an initiate without any other musical endeavors. He is a permanent member of our sect & collaborates in the creation process. Hail Altar! While Miasmic remains our primary focus, other projects are active. Iishtok beats skins and bronze for death/grind hounds Sadistic Hallucinations & Skorpius provides artillery for death/thrash horde Infernal Damnation. 

WULF:   You released the mayhemic "Spectral Wrath" full-length in 2013. You also recently re-released your first album, "Amongst the Ancient Ones", which was remastered and also features brand new artwork.   It seems like maybe you felt that the original mastering wasn't the best, but why the change in artwork?   Who did the art for the re-release?    What are your plans for 2015 and the near future?  Any new music, tours, shows, music videos, etc.?

SKORPIUS: We've basically been teaching ourselves how to record music with each release. The first time around, we didn't really know about things like master bus compression, limiters, etc. so we just released the album with every song pushed into the red to make it loud enough. Once I started learning more about all the steps involved in music post-production, I went back to the original recordings and started messing around with them, just trying to practice and learn more about the whole process. It wasn't really until I showed the rest of the band my re-mastered version that we decided to reprint the album. At first we were going to use the original cover image, but one day I was browsing on MoonRing Design's website, and something jumped out at me, so we decided to also revamp the artwork. The back cover is actually the same on both versions of the album. 

LYCANTHROMANCER: The latter half of the year will see the unveiling of our third full length offering as well as a west coast tour thereafter. Miasmic will not cease. Our art will only intensify & evolve.